The Steel Cage

Happy Independence Day weekend everyone.

To celebrate the holiday, I thought I’d take you back 16 years to July 4, 1993.

It was billed as the Stars & Stripes Challenge and it took place aboard the U.S.S. Intrepid Museum in Manhattan. Then WWF-champion Yokozuna put out the challenge for anyone to try and bodyslam him.

Many men stepped up, and many failed.

But then, down from the heavens came a great American. His name was Lex Luger, and with relative ease he picked up the gargantuan Yokozuna and slammed him to the mat.

Or so the story goes. Actually, Lex’s slam looked like hell, especially compared to Hulk Hogan’s more impressive slam on Andre the Giant five years earlier.

Anyhow, as cheesy as the whole angle was, it was actually a pretty major turning point in WWE history. It was also a pretty radical about face for Luger, who just weeks earlier was playing the arrogant heel character, “The Narcissist.”

Continue reading "A 4th of July Wrestling Landmark: Lex Slams Yokozuna" »

With ECW having lost three of its hottest young acts on Monday night in the form of the Hart Dynasty, Jack Swagger and Evan Bourne, it was really encouraging to see the brand reload its young talent on last night’s show.

In case you missed it, ECW general manager Tiffany last night announced the return of the “new superstar initiative.” And throughout the night several new faces from WWE’s farm system, Florida Championship Wrestling, made their debuts.

Right off the bat, some showed the makings of being something real special. Some – not so much,

Here are my thoughts on the new call-ups:

Yoshi Tatsu: In FCW, he went by Yoshitatsu, without the space, which I think sounds much cooler. Obviously, it’s hard to judge Tatsu’s potential, considering his debut match consisted of a single move. The fact that WWE would have him go over clean on a veteran like Shelton Benjamin in such a quick fashion may indicate that WWE has a lot of faith in the newcomer. Or it might just indicate how deep in the dog house Benjamin is these days.

I’ve never been a big fan of the race-based gimmicks, so I didn’t love what I saw. Does every Asian wrestler have to be martial artist? And please don’t bring up Jimmy Wang Yang, which in being so anti-stereotypical, is in some ways the most stereotypical race gimmick of all (remember Kirwin White?)

I was baffled, and somewhat put off by Benjamin’s r teasing of Tatsu’s ethnicity. It was neither clever nor funny, and while I understand that he was supposed to be the heel, I couldn’t help but think that WWE might think twice about sending a wrestler out to similarly make fun of a black wrestler by using a bunch of racial jokes. WWE has actually made great strides recently in featuring arguably the most racially diverse roster in American wrestling history, so it was disappointing to see them take this route with Tatsu’s debut.

Abraham Washington: I suppose Washington gained a reputationin FCW for having decent promo skills, but they were most certainly not on display last night. His late night talk show host gimmick has potential in theory, but it died an ugly death last night.

That whole segment with the Bella Twins was painful to watch and seemed to drag on forever. The problem with giving a wrestler a comedy monologue gimmick is that it is dependent on WWE’s writers scripting his jokes. And if we’ve learned nothing else from watching WWE over the last several years it’s that there are no worse comedy writers than WWE’s creative team.

Not surprisingly, Washington bombed miserably in front of the live crowd. However, I’m willing to give him another chance. It’s clear that he was nervous in that position, and who could blame him? If he has a reputation for being a funny guy, then I hope WWE experiments with letting him write his own stuff.

Of course, none of this has anything to do with his wrestling skills, which we are yet to see on display.

. Sheamus: The “Celtic Warrior” probably comes into WWE with more buzz than any of the other call ups. And he showed last night that it was for good reason.

The former Sheamus O’Shaunessy looked really impressive in his squash match debut last night. He has an incredibly unique look and wrestling style. With his hard-hitting European-inspired strikes, he somewhat reminded me of Nigel McGuinness. And his urinage/backbreaker finisher looked awesome.

He also looked comfortable and confident in his few seconds on the microphone before the match. So far, I’d place my money on Sheamus to be the one with the most potential of the new ECW class to break out from the pack and make a real impact.

Tyler Reks: “T-Reks” comes into WWE as the reigning FCW heavyweight champion and one half of the FCW tag team champions, with Johnny Curtis.

We didn’t get to see much of him last night in his short backstage segment with Zack Ryder (Long Island, represent). What I know is that he’s a tall, muscular bodybuilder type who does a surfer gimmick and moves around pretty well in the ring. He reminds me a bit of Chuck Palumbo, which could ultimately be his downfall.

While Reks has the kind of look that John Laurinitis might go gaga over, I’m not convinced he’s got all the tools to go very far in WWE. But, of course, it’s much too early to tell. We may get a better idea of what he’s capable on Thursday night, when he takes on Ryder on Superstars.

Incidentally, it’s very encouraging to see WWE continue to use ECW as a place to feature and develop its new, young talent. Outside of Tommy Dreamer, ECW may have nothing to do with the “Extreme Championship Wrestling” of the 1990s, but as the place to see WWE’s future stars, the brand has most certainly carved out an identity distinct from Raw and Smackdown.

The mini-tournament to determine a number one contender for Randy Orton’s title at Night of the Champions is a total farce. In case you didn’t know, WWE actually taped two weeks of Raw last night, so the NOTC main event has already been finalized. I won’t spoil anything, but really I don’t need to. The fact that it comes down to John Cena and Triple H only further solidifies how incredibly stale Raw is these days.

Skipping past NOTC, here are my predictions for the raw main events for the remainder of the PPV year:

August: John Cena vs. Randy Orton
September: John Cena vs. Triple H
October: Randy Orton vs. Triple H
November: John Orton vs. Randy H
December: Triple Orton vs. Randy Cena

And so on and so on.

You’ve got to laugh whenever WWE puts mid-carders in matches in which a pay per view world title shot is on the line. Such was the case last night, with MVP and The Miz in the tournament, and a couple weeks ago when they did the battle royal to determine the number one contender for The Bash. As of any of those guys had a chance of headlining a pay per view. If Triple H or John Cena are in the match, then the result is a foregone conclusion.

For the record, just since 2007, this is how many times we’ve seen the following combinations on pay per view:
A match involving John Cena and Triple H (The “fresh” combination of the bunch): 4 times
Royal Rumble 2008
WrestleMania 24
Backlash 2008
Night of Champions 2008

A match involving Randy Orton and John Cena: 7 times
Backlash 2007
Vengeance 2007
SummerSlam 2007
Unforgiven 2007
No Way Out 2008
WrestleMania 24
Backlash 2008

A match involving Randy Orton and Triple H: 11 times!
New Year’s Revolution 2007
No Mercy 2007 (twice)
WrestleMania 24
Backlash 2008
Judgment Day 2008
Extreme Rules 2008
Royal Rumble 2009
WrestleMania 25
Backlash 2009
The Bash 2009

This of course does not take into account the dozens and dozens of times these three have faced off in some kind of match on free television.

It was ironic that, on the same night that it became apparent that these tired combinations would be dragged on for at least one more pay per view, WWE gave the illusion of elevating wrestlers through the 15-person draft trade.

Make no mistake, some good came out of the moves – especially for Smackdown, which should benefit from the addition of the hot Hart Dynasty act and the return of Matt Hardy.

But don’t think for a second that addition of Jack Swagger and Evan Bourne to Raw is an indication that WWE has big things in store for them. On the contrary, I expect both to remain in the mid-card – perhaps the lower mid-card – for many, many years to come. Swagger has a chance to break into the main event scene, but it won’t be any sooner than 3-5 years from now, and perhaps never. This move could effectively stop the momentum they gained in ECW dead in its tracks.

Meanwhile, what young, talented up-and-comer got the biggest push of the new Raw arrivals last night? Fourteen-year WWE veteran Mark Henry. Sheesh.

I like Mark Henry well enough, and think he tries really hard, but he most certainly would not be on my shortlist of guys deserving of a main event push on WWE’s top show. Still, it was telling that the crowd popped big when he pinned Orton clean. Fans are starved for anybody new being elevated into the main event picture - even Henry.

Thank God for Friday nights.

Last Night’s Bash pay per view was just OK. There was some good and some bad, but with WWE offering some 14 pay per views a year that would cost nearly $600 to buy, this was definitely a skippable one.

Some thoughts:

. The scramble match concept may be the worst in wrestling. Yes, even worse that TNA’s King of the Mountain match. The logic behind the match is so flawed in so many different ways. For one, it does tremendous damage to the value of a championship to have it change hands so many times during a single match. You might argue, “Well, none of the title changes during the match are official," but then why bother to call each person who scores a pin “the current champion”?

My biggest problem with the match is that by design it does not reward the best competitor – but rather the one who scores the last pinfall. So a wrestler could theoretically go on a tear pinning everyone in sight dozens of times during the match, but if someone else scores a bogus just before the clock runs out, he is the champion.

I’m glad Tommy Dreamer kept the ECW title, but his win was anticlimactic, which will often be this case in this sort of match. I’ll give credit to WWE for experimenting with a new match concept, but this one clearly doesn’t work and should be left to die right alongside the Punjabi Prison and the Kennel From Hell.

. Much like last year’s feud between Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels, I cannot get enough of Jericho and Rey Mysterio. WWE may not think much of this feud – positioning it so low on the card for two pay per views in the row – but it has easily been the best thing on WWE television for several months.

These two top themselves again last night with a potential match of the year candidate. What’s been great about this feud is how both men have been able to incorporate exciting, innovative and high-flying wrestling into a believable, intense feud. The two get something that is often lost among wrestling bookers, and that is that wrestlers wrestle. They’re not simply there to hurt their opponents or incapacitate them long enough to gain a pinfall. Rather, each wrestler should strive to show that he is better than his opponent at their line of work. It’s showmanship. It’s the reason you might go for a double springboard moonsault, when a single one would do.

Mysterio and Jericho have done an excellent job of marrying both the passion of a blood feud and the thrills of a cruiserweight match. Add to that the ring psychology that has made everything Jericho touches turn to gold over the last year.

Unfortunately, you get the sense that last night’s match may have been the blow off between these two. It’s too bad because, even though Jericho and Mysterio have already wrestled each other several times on pay per view, there’s still plenty more mileage to go in this feud (mask vs. hair, anyone?)

How ironic is it that on the same show where WWE’s hottest feud is, apparently, ended prematurely, another chapter is added to the most tired wrestling rivalry in modern history – with hints dropped that more is on the way?

. Thankfully, neither of WWE’s two world titles changed hands. It’s rather sad that, on a show that featured three title changes, WWE is to be commended for being relatively disciplined.

. Dolph Ziggler is showing signs that he could belong in the top mix in a few years.

. I don’t have a big problem with a Kane – Khali feud. The battle of the giants is a long-cherished tradition in wrestling. And better they stink up just one match on a card wrestling each other, than two matches wrestling other opponents.

. Neither of WWE’s women’s title may mean much these days, but I’ll give Michelle McCool credit for coming along as far as she has since debuting as just another bikini model a couple years ago. And you have to love WWE taking a dig at one of the best wrestlers in their competition by giving a girl A.J. Styles’ finisher.

. The addition of Edge and Chris Jericho into the tag team title match appeared to be a legitimate last-minute decision, perhaps spurred by the realization that Edge was sorely missed on this show. I’m all for seeing more of Edge and Jericho on all three WWE brands as the defending tag champs. But, as I mentioned before, I’m not thrilled about Jericho moving on from his feud with Mysterio so soon. And neither should Rey. More than arguably since Eddie Guerrero, Jericho got the very best out of Mysterio.

. I really liked Jeff Hardy vs. C.M. Punk, including the controversial finish. WWE is doing a terrific job developing the ambiguously heel character of Punk. He keeps taking shortcuts to win matches or, at least, save his title, but in every instance has plausible deniability for his actions. Although it should be used only sparingly, the “Dusty Finish” of having Hardy apparently win the world title was executed to perfection here, and served to really take the air out of Hardy’s fans, and create more resentment toward Punk. I’m thoroughly enjoying this storyline, which is just another reason why Smackdown is the show to watch these days.

. Whether the finish to the John Cena vs. The Miz match was a good one may depend on where they go from here. If WWE continues to bring The Miz along as main-event heel in waiting, and keep him in the upper mid card mix, then it’s fine. But if the Miz returns to being opening-match filler, we’ll remember this match as the night The Miz officially had his legs cuts out from under him. I don’t have a problem with Cena winning this match. He’s WWE’s biggest star, and should be winning most of his matches. But the short length of the match, and the decisiveness of Cena’s victory, makes me worry that WWE was never all that serious about elevating The Miz. That would be a shame.

. I’m proud to say that I barely paid attention to the night’s “main event” and really only tuned in for the finish. It wasn’t out of spite. I just truly didn’t care to see Randy Orton and Triple H wrestle the equivalent of three more matches on this show. There was no possible result that would have intrigued me – not Randy winning, not Triple-H winning, not the ring collapsing in the middle of the match (Well, OK, I might have enjoyed that.) Having been stretched out over the better part of the last two years, this rivalry is about as stale as any I can ever recall. And WWE has only shortened the shelf life of the feud by raising the stakes so much in it. This feud has featured Triple-H breaking into Orton’s house; Orton DDT’ing and sexually assaulting Triple-H’s wife, Triple H repeatedly attacking Orton and his cronies with a deadly weapon, and Orton trying to kill nearly every member of Triple H’s family. And we’re supposed to get excited by a “Three Stages of Hell” match?

Meanwhile, Chris Jericho and rey Mysterio have had a far more compelling feud fighting over a secondary championship and a mask.

I was aghast by the fact that the door was left open for, at least, another match between these two. Does WWE have any reason to think this feud is working? Ratings haven’t gone up, nor has buy rates. It just seems to be bad business to keeping dragging this out. It’s time for Triple-H and Randy Orton to both move on to new opponents.

Sure enough, at the height of the World Wrestling Federation's "Rock N' Wrestling" phenomenon, someone had the foresight to try to cash in on the tremendous popularity of Michael Jackson at the time.

Well, sort of.

Skip ahead to about the 10 minute mark on the video below to check out the one and only Michael Saxton.

This is the only video I could find of Saxton, who takes on Adrian Adonis in this Sept, 1985 squash match. The New Jersey native was just a jobber, but was regularly featured on WWF programming during this particularly hot year for the WWE, as he put over many of the company's top heels at the time.

The resemblance pretty much started and ended with his Jheri curl hairstyle, but Saxton did his best to play the part - wearing sequined jackets that looked similar to those worn by The King of the Pop at the time, and sometimes even a glittery white glove.

He'd also try to mimic Jackson's dance moves, as you'll see in this video. Suffice to say he was about as good a dancer as he was a wrestler.

Check out the opening for WWF Championship Wrestling from 1985. I vividly remember watching this show every weekend as a kid and bobbing my head to the familiar theme music.

I’ve never been much a fan of wrestling promotions wasting much time acknowledging other wrestling promotions on the air – ala WCW’s constant taunting of WWE during the late 1990s. But, after have more frustrations than usual with the TNA and ROH products – I came up with a fun idea for a WWE jobber tag team.

Introducing the team of Total Nonstop Alex and Rick of Honor.

Alex might be a in his 40’s, perhaps carry a guitar to the ring, and constantly wax nostalgic about the good old days of the Monday Night Wars – You know, when wrestling had real stars. Before each match, he could also dictate his own innovative stipulations, including something ridiculous like a reverse battle boyal or a match in which you fight over a briefcase that has a pink slip inside. He’d try to put his opponent through a table onto a bunch of thumbtacks in each and every match.

Rick would be considerably smaller, and not have a very major league look. Unlike his partner, who isn’t use to working a match that lasts longer than two minutes, Rick couldn’t comprehend being in a match that lasts any less than a half hour. He’d also constantly attempt to set up incredibly elaborate spots, only to be interrupted by a punch to the face.

Of course, I say this all in jest, especially since I’m actually a big fan of ROH. And, honestly speaking, there would be no good reason for WWE to acknowledge either of its two “competitors” on TV, especially when its audience is so much bigger than that of TNA and, especially, ROH.

But I’d still like to see it, if just for my amusement.

I watched some of last Sunday’s TNA Slammiversary pay per view, and had to laugh as I watched the King of the Mountain main event match for the TNA world title. While I know TNA has been using this gimmick match for a few years now, I must admit I’ve never paid that close attention until last Sunday night.

You almost get the sense that TNA is putting us on. A promotion that is criticized regularly for over booking can’t possibly think it’s actually a good idea to offer such a convoluted match idea – much less two in a single night.

For those of you who are less sadistic than I am and, as such, don’t follow TNA at all, here’s how the King of the Mountain works.

In its simplest sense, it is a reverse ladder match. But, in fact, there is not much simple about it.

Through a series of qualifying matches, five wrestlers are chosen to take part in the match. Once the bell rings, the only way a wrestler can win is if he becomes “elligible.” You do this by scoring a pinfall or submission against any other wrestler in the match.

However, in last Sunday’s match, Kurt Angle became elligible because he was attacked by Samoa Joe before the match ever started. As it turned out, Joe was working with Angle, so they both somehow predicted that the referees would come up with this ammendment to the rules on the fly.

Now once you pin or submit someone to become elligible, the person who you beat has to go into a small penalty cage outside of the ring for two minutes– excluding them from winning the match during that time.

You win the match by taking the TNA championship belt, climbing up a ladder, and hanging it on a hook. You know, because that’s original.

For the record, Angle went on to win last Sunday’s match, and the TNA title. The best part of the match was the fact that Angle has grown out his hair and beard, and is looking pretty bad-a**, kind of like Randy Couture.

I’d like to say that this is the most assinine idea for a concept match I’ve ever heard, but I must remind myself of TNA “Feast or Fired” match and it’s Christmas Lights Cage match.

Here's yet one other way this past Monday's Raw was completely backwards.

For two weeks now, WWE has slotted its marquee main event matches in the middle of the show, and closed the show with an anticlimactic semi-main event. Last week, Randy Orton won the WWE title in a four-way match at the top of the second hour, then C.M. Punk defended his world heavyweight title a little later. And the show closed with a battle royal to determine the number one contender. Predictably, the match was won by Triple H.

This week, Triple H and Orton had a pay per view worthy last man standing match for the WWE championship in the middle of Raw, and the show closed with a stale John Cena-Big Show match.

Isn’t the point to save your biggest segment for the end of the night?

I can’t believe how oblivious WWE writers are to the fact that fans are beyond sick of seeing Randy Orton and Triple-H in a ring together.

This Sunday will mark the eighth time that these two will have wrestled on pay per view since October of 2007. Scratch that. It will mark the eighth, ninth and tenth times.

And how does WWE lure us into paying $40 to see wrestling’s most tired pairing go at it three more times on Sunday? By giving the same match away for free six days earlier.

This goes beyond complaining. I am imploring WWE: Please don’t make me watch Randy Orton vs. Triple H anymore. It’s bordering on cruelty. Please. I’m begging you.

And that’s the scary part. I am not at all convinced that this Sunday’s “Three Stages of Hell” match will be the blow off – especially considering we still haven’t seen Orton and Triple-H in a Hell in a Cell match.