Fightin' Words

Dana White stopped by the set of MMA Live late Saturday night to break down UFC 91 and what happens next in the sport. Give it a looksee.

Kenny Florian used a rear-naked choke to make Joe "Daddy" Stevenson tap out at UFC 91. Here he is discussing the fight and his future afterward.

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Randy Couture is 93 years old, and Brock Lesnar can benchpress a bus.

Now that we've touched on the two biggest themes leading up to the UFC 91 main event -- age and size -- let's get right into the UFC heavyweight championship at MGM Grand in Las Vegas.

With a powerful straight right hand to Couture's temple in the second round, Lesnar dropped the UFC legend to the canvas. Lesnar quickly pounced on Couture and fired away with hammer fists until referee Mario Yamasaki stopped the fight 3:07 into the second round.

"I can't believe it," Lesnar said. "I just believe in hard work and that it pays off. I may come across as a cocky SOB, but I'm just confident."

Lesnar (3-1), hit Couture with an elbow 15 seconds into the second round that stunned Couture and made his legs wobble. Couture recovered and managed to land a shot that cut Lesnar above the right eye 1:30 into second round.

But the 270-pound Lesnar proved to be too big and too strong for the three-time UFC heavyweight champion, who last fought in the Octagon 15 months ago thanks to contract squabbles with the UFC.

"There are some big ham-hocks coming at you," said Couture (16-9). "It's hard to get out of the way of those. This performance wasn't my best. I made some mistakes, I got caught."

I made a few mistakes, too. I went 1-4 in my last-minute predictions. Next time, I should just follow our readers' thoughts since 32.6 percent of you called the Lesnar TKO/KO correctly.

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Watch post-fight interviews at UFC.com

(AP Photo)

All that talk from Joe "Daddy" Stevenson about being unhappy about being the underdog at UFC 91 against Kenny Florian.

All that talk.

Was all talk.

Florian mounted Stevenson late in the first round, threw a number of head shots and then scored the submission win with a rear naked choke.

"This is exactly what I wanted," said Florian (13-3). "I wanted to go out here and make a statement. I want B.J. [Penn]'s belt."

Florian then turned the post-fight interview comments directly toward Penn, the UFC lightweight champion who will fight Georges St. Pierre at UC 92. "You're a continual master," Florian said. "It's time to kill that master."

Wow. Now that's how you talk!

Stevenson dropped to 34-9. And I dropped to 1-3 in my predictions. I stink at this.

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Before we write the details of the Jeremy Stephens-Rafael dos Anjos, we must inform you of a Joe Rogan classic.

In describing the action of this lightweight fight, Rogan put these words in this order for all of us to enjoy: "And a little smell my butt."

Do with that as you wish. And back to the "Might not be broadcast" archive we go . . .

In the third round, Stephens (16-3) began a right uppercut from the floor and ended it at dos Anjos' chin. That ended dos Anjos' night (and maybe his chin) 39 seconds into the third round.

"I've been working on that uppercut all week for [defense against] the shot," Stephens said. "Hermes [Franca] told me to throw it a couple of seconds before I threw it. I threw everything I had in that punch."

Seriously, folks, it was Soda Popinski uppercut, and you all remember how those always knocked out Little Mac in "Mike Tyson's Punch-Out" on the original Nintendo.

To celebrate after the knockout, Stephens turned and ran face-first into the fence. We're not sure why, but he is known as "Lil Heathen" so maybe that helps explain it.

Dos Anjos (11-3) had Stephens in a precarious position in the first round, bending his left shoulder into a different time zone with an omaplata. But it occurred with only 15 seconds left in the round, so Stephens was able to withstand the pain until the bell.

"It was real tight," Stephens said, "but I wasn't close to tapping."

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OK, not sure I'd ever expect to even think about possibily hearing Credence Clearwater Revival as the entrance music for a UFC fighter.

But such was life when Kentucky native Dustin Hazelett entered the Octagon at MGM Grand at UFC 91. "Bad Moon Rising" may be even crazier a decision than that Appalachia beard Hazelett was rocking.

Hazelett (14-4) worked for a triangle and armbar for most of the first round and eventually locked it in, forcing Tamdan McCrory (11-2) to tap out in the welterweight bout. McCrory's right arm was bent in at least 47 directions as he submitted 3:59 into the first round.

"One of my goals is to get the most submissions of the night of anyone," Hazelett said after the fight.

He just added another to his resume at UFC 91.

And one of my goals is to finish above .500 in my last-minute predictions. Right now, I'm 1-2.

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The first two televised fights -- Nate Quarry vs. Demian Maia and Gabriel Gonzaga vs. Josh Hendricks -- ended so fast, UFC dipped into its "May not be broadcast" archive from earlier in the night 40 minutes into its telecast.

That's like taking your starting pitcher out in the 2nd inning of a playoff game.

Warming up in the bullpen were welterweights Matt Brown and Ryan Thomas.

In the second round, Brown got Thomas in a left armbar. Thomas lifted Brown into the air and slammed Brown (11-7) into the mat twice, but Brown clung to armbar like peanut butter on the roof of a dog's mouth.

He rolled over and extended Thomas' arm, causing Thomas (13-3) to tap out 57 seconds into the second round.

"The slam just makes it worse on him," Brown said. "Maybe I landed on my head or something, but it's better for me than it is for him."

In the two other undercard fights that aired after the Couture-Lesnar fight, Aaron Riley (27-10-1) beat Jorge Gurgel (15-5) via unanimous decision, 29-28. Mark Bocek defeated Alvin Robinson via rear naked choke with 1:45 left in the third round.

"It’s good to be back," Riley said after his win over Gurgel. "He’s a jiu-jitsu black belt, but everybody knows he loves to stand and bang. It makes it a good fight for everybody who likes to see a fight."

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In another "Don't pour yourself a drink or you'll miss the fight" fight, Gabriel Gonzaga straight laid out Josh Hendrick in a heavyweight bout.

Needing just 1:01, Gonzaga (10-3) caught Hendricks with a knee to the midsection, then moved back, used his left hand to position Hendricks' head, then blasted him in the face with a powerful right punch.

Hendricks (18-5), winner of his 10 previous fights including nine in the first round, hit the ground quickly in his UFC debut. Gonzaga, for good measure, hit Hendricks once more before referee Steve Mazzagatti stepped in to stop the fight.

"I want a title shot and next time I’m going to get the belt," Gonzaga said. He'll have to fight either new champ Brock Lesnar or interim champ Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira in order to put a belt around his waist that need loops to stay up.

Well, at least Hendricks is used to these types of quick fights. More importantly, I'm now 1-1 in my predictions.

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Demian Maia, an undefeated Brazilian jiu-jitsu specialist, needed 2:13 to beat Nate "Rock" Quarry. Maia (10-0) gained control of Quarry from the on-set of the middleweight fight and pulled guard quickly.

Maia got Quarry (16-3) in a rear naked choke, forcing Quarry to tap out within seconds. Really, there's nothing else we can write about this match other than it would take longer to boil water on Mars than to watch this match.

"I never have a strategy when I come into a fight," Maia said. "I see what happens and fight anywhere, standing, on the ground, wherever. I come to give the fans a good fight. . . . It’s up to Dana White and Joe Silva. There are many tough guys. Maybe Michael Bisping is a good fight for me."

And I'm 0-1 on my last-minute predictions.

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The UFC 91 pregame just started and while we prepare to live blog the undercard and await the main event, it's time to throw some last-minute predictions out there.

Dustin Hazelett Vs. Tamdan McCrory

We're going with McCrory via submission.

Nate Quarry Vs. Demian Maia

Quarry via third-round knockout, if you smell what The Rock is cooking.

Gabriel Gonzaga Vs. Josh Hendricks

I haven't seen Gonzaga fight since Couture crushed his nose then whupped his butt, but seeing how Couture is in the ring at a different time than Gonzaga, I'll go with Gonzaga.

Kenny Florian Vs. Joe Stevenson

With a 34-8 record, Stevenson is the Vijay Singh of UFC. He's there seemingly every week. And his nickname is "Daddy" which is way more original than "KenFlo" so based on the beatings dads have been dishing out since the beginning of time, we'll take Stevenson.

Randy Couture vs. Brock Lesnar

There will be a lot of man moving around the open space inside the Octagon in a few hours. Normally, I'd root for the young upstart, but not tonight. The call: Couture in a unanimous decision.

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