"I'm buying an island, somewhere in the sun
Hide from the natives, live only on rum...
I'm selling my memoirs, I'm writing it down
If no one will pay me, I'll burn down the town...
I'll rent out an aircraft and print on the sky
If God likes my story then maybe he'll buy..."
---Gary Brooker/Keith Reid
Aside from Procol Harum's rum tales, here's three stories I'm relaying today, just a handful of afternoons before escaping to Rhode Island, Newport to be exact, for the annual jazz festival amidst the bay breezes of Fort Adams State Park.
* In an exhibition game in the Russian Kontinental League, Alexei Cherepanov, the Rangers' first-round pick in the 2007 draft, scored a hat trick. His Avangard Omsk teammate, of whom you may have heard, had two assists: Jaromir Jagr.
* For the sake of TV viewers in Western Canada, the Calgary Flames asked the Rangers to push back their Dec. 7 matchup at MSG from 7 to 7:30 p.m. The Rangers agreed, but asked for Dion Phaneuf for compensation. Kidding. Game will start at 7:30, though.
* Now let me toss a little more kindling on the cinders of the Mats Sundin speculation:
According to my calculations, Sundin has earned slightly more than $74 million in salary since 1989. Let's assume he invested wisely.
He was paid $5.5 million by the Maple Leafs last season, $2.1 million less than he made in 2006-07. Would a cut of another $1.5 million---to $4 million---be out of the question for an opportunity to play in New York? Will he opt for the bigger dough in Vancouver or Montreal---or hang it up?
I mean, even without another $4 mil, Sundin and his fiance, Josephine Johansson, 26, could scrape by and rent a nice loft in Manhattan for $12,000 a month and still have a little bit of spending money for restaurants and the theater.
After all, in last season's Toronto media guide, Sundin listed New York as his favorite road city and the Garden as his favorite road arena, and in an interview with a Toronto paper during last season, Sundin made it clear that he's a cosmopolitan fellow, comparing Toronto to the Big Apple:
"What is there not to like? The city has everything that New York has. Theatres, ballets, restaurants, sporting events."
Johansson, who hails from a small town in Sweden, also likes the bright lights. The Canadien press has noted that the couple enjoyed Toronto's cultural events and films. Who knows, maybe he will just retire (with $74 mil, I would) and they'll visit New York whenever?
Anyway, how could the Rangers carve out $4 million if they so desired? And I'm not saying they so desire---the following is just some toying with the math...
Here's a 22-man "ghost" roster with possible options:
Player Cap Hit
Gomez $7.357 mil
Drury $7.050
Lundqvist $6.875
Redden $6.5
Rozsival $5
Naslund $4
Zherdev $2.5
Kalinin $2.1
Girardi $1.55
Voros $1
Rissmiller $1
Fritsche $875,000
Sjostrom $840,000
Staal $827,000
Valiquette $725,000
Pock $667,000
Dubinsky $633,000
Dawes $588,000
Callahan $575,000
Potter $550,000
Orr $537,000
21 $51.749
Add Sundin $4 million
$55.749/The cap? $56.7 mil
The roster assumes these trades (only for picks or prospects...)
Prucha $1.6 m
Mara $1.95
Betts $615
Total $4.165
OR
Prucha $1.6 m
Kalinin $2.1
Betts $615,000
$4.315
OR
Prucha $1.6 m
Mara $1.95
Rissmiller $1
$4.55
UPDATE (I apparently neglected the reported cap hit for the Shanahan bonus and Jagr buyout, which is $1.5 million, according to posters who studied this whole configuration closer than I have. So that would put the Rangers $500,000 over the cap in the first scenario: Prucha/Mara/Betts.
Other combos are nearer the mark. Maybe Betts stays and someone else goes? Sjostrom? Orr? Point is, and we've made this observation in previous posts and chats, the machinations would be difficult, improbable and perhaps untenable, but yes, GM-for-a-day fodder for August...Unless you're more interested in the Olympics...)
OR
Your assignment for today, if you think there's any value in these ramblings, to come up with your own viable space-clearers.
Or tell me to shut up, that the D would be weakened, the Rangers need to keep Prucha and the rest, that it's smart to pass on a 37-year-old Sundin and that I should keep my foolish butt in Newport until the season begins.
Hey, I'd survive.