By Tom Rock
The Jets will be in Dallas on Nov. 22, 44 years after the day JFK was assassinated. 
It got me (and some others in the press room, I must confess) thinking about what kind of press conference Mangini would have had as a White House spokesman that day back in 1963. He did say once that there was "no grassy knoll" when asked about putting Pete Kendall in the rookie dorms. Hmmm.
ERIC: How’s everybody doing? A little bit of housekeeping. Kennedy will not be at practice today. And we’ve signed Johnson from the practice squad. I thought yesterday’s cabinet meeting went well. We covered the economy, as we usually do on Tuesdays. Today we’ll move on to civil rights, do a little work on national defense. That’s such an important aspect. A lot of big changes in field position come on national defense. And with that, I’ll open it up to questions.
REPORTER: Why is Kennedy not practicing?
ERIC: It’s an injury.
REPORTER: Can you tell us what type?
ERIC: Head.
REPORTER: Will he be available this weekend?
ERIC: We'll see. As with all injuries, we have to wait and see. We’ll follow our procedures and make that determination. Sometimes it goes right up to Sunday, you see where he can fit into the 45, do some evaluations that morning.
REPORTER: How long will he be out?
ERIC: I'll have to talk with our trainer.
REPORTER: Is surgery an option for him?
ERIC: Again, I'm not really sure right now. We're weighing our options, looking at test results. I'll try to work it out with Bruce that you guys can talk to him in a few days.
REPORTER: Can you just talk about Kennedy’s toughness. He had a difficult time there in Cuba a few games back, but he seemed to come out of it pretty well.
ERIC: Yeah, Jack, like all those guys, Eisenhower, Truman, Roosevelt, both Roosevelts really, they all face challenges like that. Every presidency is going to have some adversity. The true test of character is how you handle that adversity. I thought Kennedy did some nice things against the Russians in Cuba. I thought the blockade was stout. He showed good hand-placement.
REPORTER: Do you have any history with Krushchev?
ERIC: He was a defensive quality control guy in Cleveland the year before I got there, so we have some of the same friends from that time. Ted Marchibroda always used to tell stories about Nikita. He was a good guy.
REPORTER: How about Castro?
ERIC: I've never worked with him. I met him at the U.N. once and we spoke for a few minutes.
REPORTER: What do you like about Johnson?
ERIC: He has a real high motor. When we did our research on him, we really liked his character. People were always talking about how hard he worked. We met with him before the draft –
REPORTER: The Vietnam draft?
ERIC: No, no, the NFL draft. We met with him, got a chance to talk to him. He’s a real pro.
REPORTER: Just to get back to the injury, do you know how it happened?
ERIC: Not sure. Haven’t looked at the tape yet.
REPORTER: Can you tell us which side of the head the injury was to?
ERIC: The outside.
REPORTER: Eric, there’s a perception that you are being stubborn with the seating in the motorcade. Why do you insist on putting three people in the front seat and four in the back seat? It seems that with Kennedy, Mrs. Kennedy, and especially Governor Connally, it would be better to go with a 4-3 alignment.
ERIC: Well, we move it around a lot. I don’t think we’re always in that 3-4 seating arrangement. Connally can sit in a lot of different places. Sometimes we move him up from the back seat and it’s more of a 4-3 look. We can make adjustments with the Secret Service too. But I just think that when you have three people up front it gives you a balanced drive and you can change in and out of a lot of different looks from there.
REPORTER: Can you talk about a report that a Patriots employee, some guy named Zapruder, was filming the event?
ERIC: That’s a league matter. We turned it over to the league. That’s all I can say about that.
REPORTER: There’s some thinking that the footage shows more than one gunman. Do you think this tarnishes the other presidential assassinations that we thought were done by a single gunman?
ERIC: I appreciate that you have to ask that question, but, really, it’s a league matter and that’s all I can say.
REPORTER: When Kennedy got hurt, where was the breakdown?
ERIC: Really, it was collective. For these things to work well, everyone needs to do their job from the CIA to the Mafia to the Secret Service guys on the ground. Everyone has to control their gap and trust that the other agency is doing their job. That’s one of our core values.
REPORTER: What can you tell us about their guy, Oswald?
ERIC: This is the NFL. I mean, Oswald gets paid too.
Comments (6)
Oh, my goodness, T-Rock.
Now I know what you must be going through covering a 1-8 team. All I can tell you is that this, too, shall pass.
Before you know it, you will be writing reams of copy about the top prospects in next year's draft.
The good news is that the Steelers will be coming to town on Sunday, so you will see some quality football.
Rock, I have zero sympathy for you media crying about the lack of disclosure from Mangini, but your post was absolutely hilarious!
Brilliant!
One of the best posts ever blogged. It is the same exact info we would get from Mangini. Not disclosing anything. Maybe he should work for the gov't.
Steelers 38 Jets 10. Case closed.
Tom,
I have to agree... this is one of the most creative and funniest blogs I have seen. I also admire your taking a risk using a topic like the assassination of a popular U.S. President... but it was very funny.
The best line... "the outside"
JJ
Not funny.
Thanks,
I needed a good laugh today. Very well done.