Bronx & Beans

For those of you who are still counting - most of you have probably moved on to following the Jets and Giants by now - the Yanks tragic number is a mere 5. That means any combination of 5 Sox wins and Yanks losses means the season is over for the New Yorkers.

To put it in perspective, check out this cat.

But fear not, gentle Yanks fans. There's still a chance for meaningful baseball at Yankee Stadium this month. The Chicago White Sox, who are running down a division title, are in town. And the White Sox need to find a way to make up a rained-out game against Detroit, but they have no common off days left with the Tigers.

I've got the solution for the White Sox missing game:

W-Sox and Tigers play a neutral-site game at Yankee Stadium on Thursday afternoon. (Tigers have a scheduled off day, W-Sox are in town to play Yanks.) The Thursday night W-Sox/Yanks game becomes the second half of the "doubleheader."

One more meaningful game at Yankee Stadium. One more chance to see your team play. You love it. Call Selig.

--Whittle

For those of you who are still counting - most of you have probably moved on to following the Jets and Giants by now - the Yanks tragic number is a mere 5. That means any combination of 5 Sox wins and Yanks losses means the season is over for the New Yorkers.

To put it in perspective, check out this cat.

But fear not, gentle Yanks fans. There's still a chance for meaningful baseball at Yankee Stadium this month. The Chicago White Sox, who are running down a division title, are in town. And the White Sox need to find a way to make up a rained-out game against Detroit, but they have no common off days left with the Tigers.

I've got the solution for the White Sox missing game:

W-Sox and Tigers play a neutral-site game at Yankee Stadium on Thursday afternoon. (Tigers have a scheduled off day, W-Sox are in town to play Yanks.) The Thursday night W-Sox/Yanks game becomes the second half of the "doubleheader."

One more meaningful game at Yankee Stadium. One more chance to see your team play. You love it. Call Selig.

--Whittle

It's time to use the "M" word, Bronx Boys.

Meatballs? Nope, even though Fernandez loves them. Mooooooose? No way, not even after win No. 15 the other night. Moronic? Now we're getting closer.

Wait, how about ... Mediocre?

Now we're gettin' somewhere.

The season is nearing the three-quarter mark and the Yankees look like they are making a run at mediocrity. They're 63-54, a "meh" nine games over .500, 7.5 games behind the Yes-They're-Real Rays and 4 games behind the Wild-Card-Leading BoSox. And the Other Sox are also in front of the Pinstripe Patrol. How does this year's crew stack up with the last few installments of the Bronx Bombers after 117 games?

2005: 65-52, 3.5 games behind the Sox in AL East.

Result: With a furious 30-15 streak to end to season, the Yanks take the division on second to last day. The Yanks even have a chance to keep the Red Sox out of the playoffs with a Game #162 victory and a Tribe win. Unfortunately, they send Jaret Wright to the mound, and he stinks. Yanks eventually crash and burn against the Angels in the playoffs anyway.

2006: 70-47, 2 games up in AL East.

Result: Yanks roll into Boston for a five-game series and obliterate the Red Sox by a combined score of about 54,976,340,976 to 6. The Bombers took the division and looked poised to go deep into October ... but then the Tigers exposed New York's lack of starting pitching depth in the NLDS.

2007: 66-51, 4 games behind the Sox in AL East.

Result: The Yanks crawl out of the coffin in August and September to go 28-17, good enough to seize the wildcard berth from the fading Tigers. But seriously, do I have to say anything other than one word: midges?

Bomber-lovers beware: the Yanks have a deeper pit to crawl out of this year, and their squad isn't as formidable as in years past. Joba is hurt. Ian Kennedy looked horrible against the Angels. Sexson can throw all the helmets he wants, but he's still not enough to save the offense ( which is a blah 7th in the league in runs scored).

In the Bronx, it's dial M (as in mediocre) for Yankees.

--Whittle

So here we go with the start of full-on interleague play, that gerrymandered Seligism that allows AL fans to watch their managers flail around at double switches and hit-and-runs. One manager who is sure to flail is Joe Girardi.

Now, credit where it's due, Joe manage to coax a surprising season out of a thoroughly talentless NL team in 2006. But now it's time for the comedy that is the Yankees playing in Houston (I guess we'll finally get to see what the 2004 World Series would have been like if both squads hadn't choked). Witness: an outfield consisting of Old Man Damon, Statue Matsui and the Adventures of Bobby Abreu. Witness: Joba Chamberlain confuses bat for a chicken wing, takes a bite out of the trademark. Witness: Lance Berkman clubs Yankee pitching, launches a few into Houston's comically short left-field porch.

Over in Ohio, the Running Red Sox will adjust swimmingly to NL-style ball. Be on the lookout for a three-hit day from former first baseman Tim Wakefield, a couple beautifully executed hit-and-runs featuring Alex Cora and some double switches featuring Kevin Youkilis playing first, third and the corner outfield positions (perhaps all at once). And that's just Saturday's game!

As a former resident of sunny Sarasota, I wish I still had my Homer Bailey SaraRed Bobblehead to place an Irish curse on. Sadly, I don't ... but the Sox should mash him anyway.

In other news: Manny Delcarmen is putting it together, the Sox have approximately 15 good starting pitchers on the 40-man roster, and Mike Lowell had 18 RBI last night. This "race" is about to turn into a waltz.

--Whittle

Over the last 33 games, the Red Sox are a blah 17-16. In that same span, the Yanks are an even blah-er 16-17. Both teams have suspect bullpens (hey Yanks fans, which is worse: subtracting Joba or retaining Hawkins?). Injury problems that have beset the Yankees all year have caught up to the Red Sox with a recent Dice K hiccup.

Odds are this trend won't continue past the All-Star break and both teams will be back in the hunt. The Yanks are only two games under .500 and the Sox are only a half game behind the juggernaut Rays.

But right now both teams are in unfamiliar territory: irrelevance. Maybe interleague play, which heats up next month, will shake things up? The Yanks were 10-8 and the Sox 12-6 against the senior circuit last year.

--Whittle

As if Yankee fans - and Yankees ownership - haven't already had the legend of David Ortiz tattooed on their bruised subconscious enough... now the big guy is invading the franchise's most storied myth?

Apparently, the Yankees are steamed over an MLB promotion in which Ortiz, who has earned sainthood in Boston for owning Yankees pitching, will get a chance to "call" a home run shot during All Star Game festivities in July, the New York Times reports.

You get it? A loveable baseball icon gets to re-create Babe Ruth's legendary “called shot” in the 1932 World Series, INSIDE the hallowed "cathedral" of baseball, Yankee Stadium, the Bronx dump that is going through its final lap. The house, history tells us, that Ruth built?

The same Ruth whose ghost, we were also told, haunted the Red Sox for decades, blah, blah, blah....

Actually, the Ortiz-Ruth comparison is a pretty good one. Two burly fellas adored beyond baseball, who are worshipped by the kids and will be remembered for being jolly guys and swatting bombs in October.

I guess the Yanks don't see it that way, though. Apparently, team officials are taking a break from their panicked pitching staff shake-up to make inquiries about just what the heck is going on, the Times reports. Wasn't this All Star event supposed to be their chance to celebrate all things pinstriped?

Not a surprise, of course. This is the same franchise that spent $50,000 in April to dig up an Ortiz jersey that had been planted under the concrete of the new stadium, and considered filing charges against the construction worker, Gino Castignoli, who buried it.

Hey, I understand the Yankees' complaint. It sort of rubs salt in the wound created when the Sox beat them to Ortiz before the 2003 season. And I know the Yankees would prefer one of their guys to be part of this foolish promotion...

Maybe they want the bland Alex Rodriguez to be center of attention in July. God knows he never has been in October.

-- Dennehy

Hey, LaMonica - ill-timed slam of the Tampa Bay Rays and their beloved ballpark. Those same Rays just dumped the Yankees into the AL East cellar with a 5-2 thumping in hallowed Tropicana Field.

But now is not a time to beat on the last-place Pinestripers and their approximately $876 million payroll. No, no. Now is a time to reflect on the glory of the first place Rays, who are a full game up in the standings heading into late May. It's time to remember all-time franchise home run leader Aubrey Huff (128). Time to bask in the glow of all time saves leader Roberto Hernandez. Yeah, there's no shame in being dumped into last place by a club with this kind of tradition. (To be fair, most of the TB's offensive records are held by Carl Crawford, a legit superstar.)

Let's not lose sight of the real story here: the Yanks are in the cellar. Enjoy it, Yanks fans - you're boys have earned it.

--Whittle