Bronx & Beans

I'd seen about enough of the Red Sox overpriced Japanese import doing his regular Chien-Ming Wang impressions. Make some room for Mr. John Smoltz ladieez and genteman!

Enough of the WBC. Seriously, Selig. And poo-poo on the Red Sox organization for not keeping better tabs on their 100 million dollar man while he was away.

By Lizzy Nielsen

I hope everyone is taking a little time out of their busy Sundays to show a little bit of love for their Dads. I can't be with mine this Father's Day because of work responsibilities, so I figured I'd put a little tribute to him here.

I'm one of four children, all girls, so Dad never had it particularly easy. Though, as a pretty ridiculous hockey player himself in his younger years, he always made athletics something that he could share with us as kids. None of my sisters really bit into becoming sports fans except me, which started with my first trip to Fenway Park in 1990, at the ripe old age of 9, where he bought me a Red Sox team baseball card set, which contained one of these. I fell in love with baseball and Fenway instantly, and Dad held my hand throughout the experience. That year I played softball and basketball for the first time. Dad built a basketball hoop in the driveway and drilled me on lay ups, taught me how to throw a mean fastball in the yard and never ever missed a single one of my games. He was a coach, a mentor and a frequent disciplinarian (yeah I wasn't always the easiest kid).

As I grew up though, we didn't always have time to go to games. But Friday nights were for Dad and me. Sox on Channel 38 in the Spring/Summer, Celtics games on Sports Channel in the Winter. On top of being my teacher of all things sports fan, Dad was rides to work, the mall, a math tutor, a short order cook. He helped me pick out my first prom dress. He spent Saturday mornings mowing the lawn and Saturday afternoons playing with my sisters and I in the pool. He had four children, a full time job and a house to take care of, but he always found time to coach the basketball team.

Now that I'm older, and hopefully a little bit wiser, Dad has moved from being the disciplinarian and the teacher to the confidant and friend. First time I ever got laid off, I cried to Dad. When I'd found out I'd landed my first media job in New York City, I woke Dad up at midnight to celebrate. I want him there on the best and worst days of my life. And you know what? If it hadn't been for that trip to Fenway nearly 20 years ago, I'm not sure I would have ever fallen in love with sports, and totally sure I wouldn't have been blessed enough to turn it into a career. So here's to my Dad, for nearly 28 years of encouragement, support, love and friendship. People tell me all the time how much I'm like my Dad, and that's not just because of the giant foreheads we both share. I'm my father's daughter, and I get prouder every day to say that. Happy Father's Day, Dad. I love you.

BY J.J. BAILEY



J.J. Bailey says 'Thank you' to Luis Castillo, who responds: 'No problem.'




We found out last night that the most beautiful words in the English language aren't "I love you," but instead: "He dropped the ball!!!!!"

Luis Castillo, you are officially on the Christmas card list.

By JJ Bailey

During a season, you're going to have losses that rip your guts out. You will feel like someone spit in your eyes, kicked you in the rear end and sent you sprawling into a pile of garbage.

Last night was such a game.

This one was easily more painful than the night where Mo gave up a two-run bomb to pale Canadian bighead Jason Bay.

Just think about it: Our ace, CC Sabathia, cruising along with a two-run lead in the eighth inning. He innocently lets on a baserunner, loses a long battle with Dusty Pedroia, gives up a hit to a lefty with his 123th pitch, and then the bullpen comes in and the game is basically over.

It was almost like the Yankees, in the eighth, suddenly realized they were going to win and said, "Whoa, wait a minute, we have to screw this up and lose already." It was over in a blink.

I hate to agree with the cliches of fools, but maybe it's true that the Yankees are "doing everything they can to lose" and the Red Sox are "doing everything they have to to win."

How else do you explain Nick Swisher getting doubled off again? Or CC, who pitched exceptionally, hanging a changeup to Nick freakin' Green to start the rally in the eighth? Or turning the 2009 Papi back into his old 2003-08 world-beater self?

The Yankees managed to come back against the bullpen Michael Kay mythologized, but they have nothing to show for it.

The first two games were about the starters -- an ineffective Burnett and a pitcher that should be in the bullpen. This time it was about not being able to hit a guy other teams have pounded all year. All the Yankees accomplished last night was for some NL team to trade for Penny, foolishly assuming he doesn't stink.

Brian Bruney's absence was never more apparent than last night. I like Aceves, and he's been great for the team, but he can't be the setup man. Luckily Bruney is quickly on his way back - again - and that should prevent meltdowns like this.

Being two games back isn't the end of the world, and it's hard to deny the Yankees have been anything but great against every other team. In fact, the truly awful thing about this inability to not beat the Sox is their fans being able to talk so much smack. Beating up on a team guarantees nothing in the playoffs (remember when we dominated the Tigers and then they wiped the floor with us amid Torre-created chaos?), but it would be nice to take that oh-for off the board.

By JJ Bailey

Peter Abraham has an interesting take on Chien-Ming Wang’s latest bout of suckiness: Fire Dave Eiland!

Since Eiland somewhat dismissively said he “can’t stand behind” Wang when he's on the mound, Abraham on a rant about how much Eiland stinks. He noted that the pitching staff hasn’t been very good this year, and piled the bodies of Edwar Ramirez, Jose Veras, Mariano Rivera, Andy Pettitte and A.J. Burnett at his doorstep.

One important thing that Abraham seems to forget is that Eiland was the pitching coach last year, too, and the only reason guys like Edwar and Veras have a perch to fall from is thanks to the years they had in ‘08, under the supposedly awful Mr. Eiland. Rivera also had his best year in ‘08, once again under the dreadful Mr. Eiland. (Does this mean he gets credit for Aceves then?)

And exactly what would Dave Eiland say or do that would negatively impact longtime veterans like A.J. Burnett, Andy Pettitte and Wang that would make them suddenly forget how to pitch? Does he accidentally tell Wang to throw with his left hand while in the bullpen? Does he get absent-minded and instruct Burnett to aim above the catcher’s head? Do you think CC Sabathia needs Dave Eiland to re-teach him pitching mechanics in every bullpen session?

No, of course not.

It’s the pitchers who are to blame.

Burnett is just inconsistent and always has been. And Wang... well, Wang is just a mess. It's not all his fault. He hurt himself running the bases, of all things, and then the team stupidly told him not to work out his legs in the off-season. This led to weak hips and his early struggles with his velocity. They DL'd him and had him steadily work back into form, and then derailed everything by rushing him back to the majors to pitch out of the bullpen. Honestly, the Yankees could not have handled him worse than they have. It's borderline criminal what they did to the guy who was their ace for a while.

But you can't go back in time, and the Yankees, after spending all the money they did, have to move on. And the only solution is to put Hughes back in the rotation.

Despite some sports radio hosts screaming at people that Wang can't pitch out of the bullpen, he looked pretty good in the role, and even raised his strikeout rate.

The most irritating thing about this for the Yankees is that Wang has lost all trade value. He went from a great trading chip to absolutely no value in two and a half months. With Phil Hughes ready for the rotation and legions of pitchers behind him in the minors, Wang was expendable, and trading off no-longer-needed good players is something the Yankees haven't done enough of in the past few years.

In the meantime, they need to switch Hughes and Wang and hope Wang can figure things out incrementally because he's going to be a big factor for them when Joba and Hughes near their innings limit.

By Lizzy Nielsen

I'm a self professed chicken of horror movies. However, one sort of freaky flick I did enjoy was Christian Bale in 'American Psycho.' Anywho, check this out, it's a vid I stumbled across on YouTube portraying Alex Rodriguez as Patrick Bateman. Very very well done.

OK, Bronx boys, wager time. It's a three-game series, which means we'll have a winner barring a rainout. Welcome to my culinary-themed wager proposal ...

Sox win: One Bronx-er will compose an essay on the merits of New England clam chowder, and why it is and always will be better than the stagnant slop that is Manhattan clam chowder.

Yanks win: One of the Beans will compose an essay about why NY-style pizza beats the heck out of such Boston pizza gems as Regina, Santarpio's, the whole of the North End and part of the East End, etc.

Unflattering photos will be shot to compliment these pieces of writing.

Whattahayasay?

--Whittle

Probably not, because they don't play each other that many times. But the Sox look to remain unbeatable against the Yankees this week with a three-spot at Fenway. Let's check out the pitching matchups and make some predictions:

Tuesday: Beckett/Burnett. Did these guys ever pal around when they both played for the Marlins? Unfortunately, because of the DH rule, we won't get a window into possible tension between these erstwhile teammates, as Beckett won't be able to launch a four-seamer at Burnett's noodle. This game could determine the series, because it's the only even pitching matchup. Don't bet on a low-scoring affair though: bet on Beckett staying sharp and the Sox knocking A.J. all over the yard. THE PICK: Sox.

Wednesday: Wakefield/Wang. Wakey has been a rudder for the Sox shakey rotation this year, winning seven games and posting quality starts. He can be hit, but the odds are that he'll give you a solid effort and chance to win the game. Wang? His WHIP (2.57) would be a pretty decent ERA. The sinker is not sinking, but his career is. THE PICK: Sox.

Thursday: Penny/Sabathia. This is where you learn that these picks are sincere and not homer-ism on my part. Big C.C. has been averaging 7+ innings per start and inexplicably winning less games than he deserves. Penny has been averaging about 5-and-a-half innings and inexplicably winning more games than he deserves. THE PICK: Yanks.

--Whittle

By J.J. Bailey

If you torture yourself like I do and listen to Mike Francesa on WFAN, you'll know he routinely pontificates about why Joba Chamberlain should be in the bullpen. Normally when he does so he insults and diminishes Joba, bashes Yankee GM Brian Cashman, and calls anyone who dares to disagree a total moron.

You do have to love the way they find dozens of callers who agree with Francesa on this and then when they finally allow someone to "challenge" him it always sounds like someone who wanders the subway at night looking for a long-lost shoe.

Anyway, Mike was going at it again on Friday and basically said that Joba was never really a successful starter in the majors, that it's all an illusion, and that in 2008, Joba was babied "going 2 innings, then 4 innings, being taken out at the first sign of trouble."

Apparently Mike didn't understand the concept of transitioning someone from the bullpen to the rotation. I guess he assumed Joba could go from throwing 20 pitches to 100 pitches without building up his arm first. Joba made two shortened "starts" -- one of 2 innings and one of 4 innings. Francesa said "there's plenty of pitchers who can dominate for 2 or 4 innings," but of course, as usual, this was totally disingenuous, since it was only those two starts. Francesa made it sound like it was all Joba ever did.

In fact, after the two shortened starts, Joba pitched 6 innings against the Astros. And in 10 starts, Joba went 6 or more innings in seven of them, which makes you wonder how Mike calls Joba a 4-inning starter with a straight face.

I guess the larger point Mike misses is that Joba is only 24 and has a whole 21 big-league starts to his credit. Why would any sane human being want to limit him to the bullpen before they saw what he was capable of?

When the Yankees took Joba out of the minors and made him a setup man because he was about to hit his innings limit, it was a really smart baseball move. They had to do it, and it helped the team, but it had this weird side effect of giving fodder to dummies like Francesa who repeatedly harp on this subject. They can't seem to process the idea that the transition was Joba going to the bullpen, and not him becoming a starter. It seems pretty simple, but it's beyond his comprehension.

Benjamin Kabak at River Ave. Blues recommended to just stop listening to everyone's favorite rotund blowhard and I have to agree. I really wish someone would take the opportunity to start a new sports-talk radio station here in N.Y. You would think that we'd have more options than the FAN and ESPN Radio, which is so bad it makes WFAN tolerable.

Forget Bronx and Beans - it's time for some Flushing and Fenway.

For those of you too caught up in the Phils/Yanks series, the Amazins and Sox are locked up in a stellar series in Boston's Back Bay. Santana outdueled a game (or perhaps gamey) Dice K on Friday; yesterday Omir "Bleepin" Santos hit a disputed bomb to give the Mets the comeback win.

Today's game had been a back-and-forth struggle between Tim Wakefield and Tim Redding until the Mets bullpen decided to enter the game and act like the Mets bullpen. Takahashi pulled a big-time Met move by stumbling awkwardly off the mound and balking; Brian Stokes then entered the game and reminded us all of why he's a Tampa Bay castoff. The Metness of the Met bullpen seems to have made up for the fact that the umps stole a homer from Kevin Youkilis on a play that nearly mirrored Santos's "Whuhappened?" moment yesterday.

If you've been sleeping on this series, shame on you.

--Whittle

At this point, what's more irritating: people who still talk about Joba going to the bullpen or people who continually harp about the new Yankee Stadium being "Coors Field East"? I'm so sick of hearing about all the home runs hit at the new ballpark that I'd almost welcome an asinine diatribe about why Joba is more valuable as a setup man.

Listen, there's no doubt that the Stadium has been a home run haven. But I don't think you can simply look at the number of home runs hit and call it a bandbox. It's obvious that you have to judge the home runs themselves. Last night Mark Teixeira and Raul Ibanez hit home runs that would have gotten out of the Grand Canyon. They were true bombs. Sometimes it's on the pitcher -- not the stadium.

When Cleveland was in town, the ball was definitely flying out. People were getting jammed and hitting home runs. It was embarrassing -- like watching some ridiculous metal-bat college game where anything that gets in the air flies out. I don't see those shots anymore. The home runs being hit there seem legit to me now. But, of course, the press has too much fun bashing the Stadium and the team that plays there, so don't expect it to stop anytime soon.

The pitcher Raul Ibanez hit that monster home run off of was Chein-Ming Wang. You remember him. He was our ace for a few years and now he's a complete mess. He came back last weekend to mixed results -- throwing harder, but still not able to consistently keep the ball down.

Continue reading "Stop complaining about the long ball (and thoughts on Chien-Ming)" »

The joke's finally over. Well, not really. If Ortiz finishes the year with four dingers, then the joke's on him and will be for the rest of the summer. But, Big Papi finally hit his first home run of the 2009 season -- a two-run shot to center in the fifth inning of last night's 8-3 win over the Blue Jays. The blast ended the longest home run drought of his career at 149 at-bats, including 135 this year.

Boston got pretty excited about it this morning ...

And about that David Ortiz home run gallery we created a while ago with every intention of updating after each Papi long ball ... I lost it. Sorry beans.

By Lizzy Nielsen

At left, CC Sabathia back in February. At right, CC tonight pitching against the Birds. Just sayin dudes...

Photo by John Dunn

I just figured it out. If the Yankees hosted the Twins in the final 124 games of the regular season, we'd finish 137-25.

Not a bad weekend in the Bronx, which saw the Yankees improve to 23-3 against the Minnesotans since 2002. I delved into the stats a bit further and found that the three losses came in 2005, 2006 and 2007. Two of the losses ('05 and '07) came against Johan Santana. The other was to Scott Baker. We won the other 23.

Twins? More like the Tlosses. Oh!

By Mark La Monica

Memorial Day Weekend is approaching and we all want to start the summer off strong with a nice three-day weekend.

Instead of going to the beach or maybe taking a drive to somewhere close by, try investing a few dollars in the new David Ortiz Weekend Getaway.

It's not a fantasy camp. It's not a big party. It's a seat next to and a personal audience with Big Papi. Bring a cushion because we're not sure if the benches in Fenway Park and the Homer Dome are comfortable or not. You might also want to bring something for your lower back, since sitting down on wood for three-plus hours can do a number on your lumbar.

What you won't need to bring: Batting gloves, a helmet, power.

(AP Photo; Newsday illustration)

P.S. We fully expect Ortiz to do something productive at the plate soon, and if you're nice, we'll record the Bean Whittle-Bean Nielsen celebratory dance of joy and post it here. In the meantime, enjoy the 2009 David Ortiz Home Run photo gallery.

This guy knows the score. (Getty Images)

By Mark Dwyer

For those who missed David Ortiz's late-night shenanigans against the Angels, Big Papi stranded a dozen teammates on the basepaths in an 0-for-7 performance to drop his average to .208. HE LEFT 12 MEN ON BASE! Remarkably, he tied the San Francisco Giants, which also stranded 12 (see chart below) last night.

He struck out three times, flew out twice, grounded out once and to top it all off, with the bases loaded in the 12th inning, he tapped a check-swing dribbler to the mound for what would be Boston's final out.

Not to pile it on our friend Papi, who is still homerless in 130 at-bats (Check it out!), but that has to be one of the worst offensive games in professional baseball history. I think Bug Holliday for the Cincinnati Red Stockings once left 13 men on base in 1889, but Elias has yet to confirm.

After the game, the gloomy big man told the media: “I’m sorry guys, I don’t feel like talking now ... Just put down, ‘Papi stinks.’"

Thursday night's 'Who left the most men on base' contest:

*Ortiz -- 12
Giants -- 12
Cubs -- 11
Mets -- 10
Pirates -- 10
Yankees -- 10
Dodgers -- 9
Orioles -- 9

* = indicates one player, not an entire team with a lineup that comprises nine or more different players.

(AP Photo)

By J.J. Bailey

While A-Rod may have as many home runs as Jeff Bailey, David Ortiz has as many home runs as this Bailey: zero.

Maybe Ortiz is missing Manny's female fertility drugs.

Or just maybe this is what happens when slovenly sluggers don't bother to stay in shape.

>> Once again, you can scroll through our gorgeous photo gallery that documents each Ortiz long ball by clicking here. (Try not to get lost in there, Beans.)

By Tim Mulherin

This week is the Red Sox's last west coast road trip of the year

These trips are a thorn in the side of all East Coast teams, so the Sox have smooth sailing after this week.

Daniel Bard is finally in Boston

The Sox didn’t wait too long to call him up from Pawtucket. He has a triple-digit fastball that was the talk of the Sox in spring training. Not sure what his role will be in the bullpen, but we know he won’t be forced into the rotation where he will become an average starter. With the addition of Bard the Red Sox have the best bullpen in the league.

Big Papi will get rolling soon

In the meantime, Jason Bay has arrived, and I don’t think he is on steroids. As for Papi, I love the doubles he is hitting lately. Since May 4, Ortiz is batting .300 with three doubles, eight walks and only three strikeouts. He is heating up and when Papi gets hot, he is lights out.

The team is winning without Dice-K, Youkilis, and most recently Pedroia

When these guys rejoin the lineup I predict pain for the rest of the league.

Toronto can’t be that good…

Can they?

Bails is also towering above A-Rod with a .206 batting average (A-Rod is batting .100-and-nuthin' in limited duty).

So while Jeff Bailey is filling in admirably for Kevin Youkilis, J.J. Bailey's lauding of Alex "Biggest Cheater in the World Not Named Manny Ramirez" Rodriguez is a tad premature!

--Whittle

By J.J. Bailey

Re-read the headline.