Keyboard Quarterbacks

By Mark La Monica

Eric Gagne as a Red Sock:

5 games
4 innings
10 hits
7 earned runs

Keep it up, kid. We're loving your work down here in New York.

By Mark La Monica

Hey there, Red Sox Nation. If you take a look at the MLB standings today, you might notice that you're in first place in the AL East.

You might then notice that your lead is down to six games. A month ago, that lead was 9.5 games.

Chip, chip, chip.

Those pesky Yankees are methodically working their way toward the top of those standings. At 19-7 since the All-Star break, the Yanks have the best record in baseball. I'm just saying.

Is it just a matter of time before the Yankees take over first place? Maybe. Maybe not. But at least we've got ourselves a race. And it's going to be fun to watch the Nation start to squirm a little bit when the Yanks get to within four games of Boston before that three-game series at the Stadium Aug. 28-30.

Who knows, maybe that Sept. 14-16 series in Fenway will be irrelevant by then. Should that happen, it won't be just the Bronx that is burning.

An early prediction: Melky "Bleeping" Cabrera.

By Mark La Monica

Even at a blackjack table in Connecticut, life comes to down to Yankees vs. Red Sox.

Heading up to Mohegan Sun and Foxwoods this past Saturday because, as it turned out, i owed the blackjack tables a few hundred bucks, I read the baseball standings in the newspaper.

The Yankees trailed the Red Sox by 7.5 games, but Friday night's Boston-Seattle game ended too late to appear in the edition. And since I basically rolled out of bed, maxed out my daily ATM limit and hopped in the car, I had no time to check the Internet or SportsCenter for a Red Sox score.

Did they win? I didn't know. Did they lose? I didn't know.

I gave up the quest for knowledge and focused on the task at hand: how to lose money at a blackjack table and not get mad about it. No easy feat.

I sat down at a $15 table at Mohegan Sun, next to a guy in Red Sox hat. Next to him was some dude in a Patriots jersey. The perfect combo for a New York sports guy. I should have walked away right there, but I won $67.50 in about 45 seconds, so I figured I'd press my luck. No whammies, please.

The guy in the Red Sox hat can best be summed up as follows: If Aguado the police detective from "Ace Ventura" had a twin brother, this was him.

He'd play one hand, then three hands, then two hands, then three hands, then one hand, then two hands. That's a strict no-no for true blackjackers. Consistent play is as important as intelligent play.

He varied his monetary levels each time, too, $20 here, $40 there. That's fine. It's his money. Let him do as he wishes in that regard.

After 30 minutes and $25 in profit, I colored in. Had to get moving before my ride left for Foxwoods and left me with the New England super fans. The guy in the Red Sox hat had just decided to play three $30 hands at once, after randomly putting a random number of chips in a random number of betting circles on the blackjack table.

And since he didn't see me stop playing, he got mad at me.

"You're gonna sit this one out?" he said.

"I'm done, guy," I said.

"Oh, you gotta tell us when you're gonna do something like that?" he boasts with a hint or four of anger.

Who is this guy to tell me how to play blackjack when he's playing with the strategy of former umpire union chief Richie "Let's all Resign" Phillips? I mean, really.

"I told the dealer," I responded.

"Well, I didn't hear you. I just upped my bet."

"Well, what do you want me to do? You've been betting crazy since I got here."

"You gotta tell us when you do something like that."

He's growing agitated. I still don't know if the Red Sox lost on Friday.

"Hey, did the Red Sox win last night?" I asked him.

"No."

"Good, now the Yanks are only seven games back. Have a nice day."

By Mark La Monica

Um, uh, er, uh, yeah. How about them Yankees?

Just two weeks ago they were chipping away at that 13.5 game lead the Red Sox held over them. Had it down to 8 games at one point.

Now, um, not so much. It's right back up to 11 games. Pick-up basketball games go to 11. Not American League East division leads with nearly half the season gone. You double-down on 11. Not walk in the winning run for fear of throwing a strike on a full count.

Eleven games. Not insurmountable. Not good, either.

Not when "pitchers" in the bullpen have names such as Scott Proctor and Kyle Farnsworth and inhabit uniforms belonging to the New York Yankees baseball club.

That "Chipping away" piece from June 11, although accurate at the time, looks more like slipping away now.

Red Sox Nation can breathe easier for now.

Slip, slip, slip.

Right now, I feel like Jim Carrey at the end of "Ace Ventura" when he tries pulling off Capt. Lois Einhorn's hair. "Boy that's really on there," Ventura says, trying to avoid embarassment as the cops and others watch Ventura try to explain that Einhorn (Sean Young) is really a dude named Ray Finkle.

The Yanks are slipping away.

Finkle is Einhorn.

By Mark La Monica

Uh oh, Red Sox Nation. Don't look now, but those Yankees are starting to chip away at your monsterous lead in the American League East.

On June 2, the Red Sox had a 13.5-game lead. Nine days later, it's down to 9.5.

Chip, chip, chip.

With 100 games left for Boston and 101 for the Yanks, including six more games against each other, this is no time for celebrating such a reduction.

However, since the entire baseball media world made it sound like the Yankees were contributing less to society than David Hasselhoff, it's worth noting even for a small moment that the lead is down to single digits.

The chipping has begun. At some point late this summer, will the Orioles or Blue Jays look at the standings and say, "Wow, how 'bout them Red Sox? I haven't seen a collapse like that since they torpedoed that casino in 'Ocean's Eleven.'"

Back in 2004, I was in Busch Stadium the night the Red Sox won the Series in St. Louis, and have nothing but good memories. (Well, with one exception: Watching Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore cavort on the field in what I presume was fake euphoria - they were filming the lame ending to 'Fever Pitch' - came closest to spoiling a perfect moment).

But the one memory that always comes back to me is how the Cardinal fans behaved during the ninth inning that night. Hyperactive Sox fans were all over the place, jamming the aisles on the third base side of the stadium, and pushing as close to the dugout as possible as the final out approached.

And, God bless them, just about every Cardinal fans obliged them politely. Many gave up their seats, and, over and over, you'd see them turn to the nearest giddy Red Sox fan and extend their hand.

"Congratulations," one kind, older fella said to me. "Good for Boston. You deserve this."

Now, as someone who has been the jerk at Fenway far too often over the years, and endured the Moron Show at Yankee Stadium many times, there was a real lesson here:

Midwesterners are insane.

Every time I've ever visited the Bronx, Yankee fans always perform as advertised - over-the-top obnoxious, even borderline violent. And, as long as I escape physical harm, I always appreciate it. It's part of the show.

The first time I ever sat in the Yankee Stadium bleachers was for a Sox-Yanks game in the late 90s. It was like 110 degrees, they still served beer in the bleachers, and after finally reaching our seats in center field, a buddy of mine observed, 'I've never felt so unsafe in America.'

On Friday night, I took a video camera to the Bronx to capture some of the, um, spirit before the Dice-K/Pettite game. Yankee fans were just as intense as ever, maybe more. Not as confident as they used to be, maybe, but definitely louder.

But then, even Cardinals fans might throw a fit if they had to wait eight days for a win.