Keyboard Quarterbacks

By Karen Bailis

Fact: The Knicks are 5-10 and on Thursday suffered one of the franchise’s most humiliating losses.

Fact: The Knicks are more painful to watch than an “Ishtar” marathon.

Fact: Next to Eli Manning, Isiah Thomas is the most vilified man in New York sports these days.

Fact: Thomas is an embarrassment to the Knicks and the NBA.

Fact: Anne Donovan, the coach of Seattle’s best basketball team -- the WNBA's Storm – resigned Friday. Donovan led the Storm to a WNBA championship in 2004. She’s the second-winningest coach in league history. The Storm made the playoffs in four of Donovan’s five seasons as coach. She also took the Charlotte Sting to the WNBA Finals. She’s the head coach of the women’s U.S. National Team. The 6-8 center is a two-time Olympic gold medalist and won a national championship in college.

Fact: Donovan’s resignation agreement with the Storm bars her from coaching another WNBA team through 2008, not an NBA team.

Fact: I’m just saying – it couldn’t be worse, right?

* Dwyane Wade is an extremely good basketball player.

* Dwyane Wade is an extremely amusing basketball player, what with that dunk at the end of the game to give the Heat a 92-86 win. Who cares about the sportsmanship aspect? The spread was 4 1/2. Wonder how the bookies felt about that dunk with one second left.

* Why do Yankees fans hate A-Rod? This is baffling. The man only leads the major leagues in home runs, RBIs and runs. Plus he's hitting .318. Why no love for this guy? We'll explore that next week.

* Michael Irvin on the big screen? "The Longest Yard" could immediately become a Top Ten classic. The Playmaker is second only to Screaming A. Smith as television's most amusing sports analyst.

* Some days, I wish I was a professional athlete. Not for the money, or the impressive address book or the amount of females at my disposal, but rather for the keen ability to commit crimes and get off with a slap on the wrist and a $538 fine.

* Today is one of those days.

* Spurs vs. Pistons would be the most unwatchable NBA Finals since television was invented. Average score: Spurs 19, Pistons 18.

* Jerry Rice is dangerously close to becoming football's answer to Evander Holyfield.

* Which is worse: Agonizing over ways in which the Knicks can mess up the draft or Watching the Knicks actually mess up the draft?

* Who will instigate the brawl this weekend between the Yankees and the Red Sox?

* Any chance Tom Glavine will beat the Braves once more before his contract expires?

* That was a rhetorical question.

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