Keyboard Quarterbacks

Politicians love a good photo op and great, free and positive publicity among their voters.

Few situations present themselves more maximizing moments than when local sports teams enter big sports events. It's commonplace to have governors or senators from competing teams make friendly wagers on their teams in the name of civic pride. For example, governors from the home states of teams competing in the Super Bowl or World Series routinely make bets with one another. The media eats these things up.

No other event captures the passion of the entire nation for a long period of time like March Madness. And since the current state of affairs, literally and figuratively, of New York governors is ripe with delicious sex scandals, let's have some fun.

New York State has two teams in the men's tournament and three in the women's tournament. New York State also has one governor who resigned because he got caught in a prostitution ring and one governor who admits on a daily basis that he's had affairs with other women.

Yeah, you see where I'm going here. So let's go!

Men's tournament bets

No. 14 Cornell vs. No. 3 Stanford

Gov. David Paterson bets his cell phone contact list, while California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger bets his unpublished insider guide to groping women.

No. 13 Siena vs. No. 4 Vanderbilt

Gov. David Paterson bets Tennessee Gov. Phil Bredesen a weekend in New York, including top-notch accommodations, two tickets to any Broadway show and two dozen New York bagels for Tennessee Titans cornerback Pacman Jones' cell phone number.

Women's tournament games

No. 16 Cornell vs. No. 1 UConn

Gov. Paterson bets free E-ZPass for a month, while if the Huskies don't win, Connecticut Gov. M. Jodi Rell draws chips for everyone in Paterson's entourage at Mohegan Sun and lets them all "pull a Fredo."

No. 7 Syracuse vs. No. 10 Hartford

If the Hawks win, Gov. Paterson must produce two tickets to last home games at both Yankee and Mets games. But, if the Orange win, Connecticut Gov. M. Jodi Rell draws chips for everyone in Paterson's entourage at Foxwoods Casino and lets them all "pull a Fredo."

No. 7 Marist vs. No. 10 DePaul

Should DePaul win, Gov. Paterson would take the train to Chicago and decree that deep-dish pizza is the world's real pizza. If Marist wins, Illinois Gov. Rod R. Blagojevich must come to Times Square and decree New York style pizza is the best, and pay for two hookers for Paterson.

By Mark La Monica

Growing up a North Carolina fan, there's never been much suspense when it comes to Selection Sunday. The Tar Heels were always among the top 4 seeds and arguing over bracket selection is just plain dumb. The years the Tar Heels didn't make the tournament, you already knew they had no shot.

But this year, my alma mater - the mighty Big Red of Cornell University -- qualified for their first March Madness since 1988 (five years before I even got there). So, watching Selection Sunday this year was quite exciting.

Myself and Lawyer friends Tim and Steve figured Cornell would earn a 13, 14 or 15 seed. Basically, anything but the play-in game and I'd be happy. With each announcement of the 2, 3 and 4 seeds, I edged a bit closer on my stool. With each announcement of the 13, 14 and 15 seeds that wasn't Cornell, I edged a bit back on my stool.

Then came the South region and Stanford with the No. 3 seed. As soon as we saw that, we all said, "Yep, Cornell is going to play Stanford."

Sure enough, the GPA Game was born. Some might think Cornell has no shot against Stanford. But in this tale of the tape, you'll see that the smartest first-round NCAA matchup in history is a dead heat. Each school has the advantage in 18 categories (marked in red).

* Numbers based on U.S. News & World Report's annual college publication for 2007 and 2008.

By Mark La Monica

Let's start with three statements of fact and follow it up with two questions and two comments.

Fact 1: This past Wednesday, the NCAA levied accusations that Indiana Hoosiers hoops coach Kelvin Sampson committed five major rules violations.

Fact 2: A school investigation last year revealed that Sampson had made more than 100 impermissible phone calls to recruits.

Fact 3: He made those phone calls while he was on probation for doing the exact same thing 577 times while the coach at Oklahoma.

Question 1: How much longer can Indiana president MIchael McRobbie wait before firing Sampson for subjecting the school to future sanctions from the NCAA that will cripple its recruiting for several years after Sampson is gone?

Question 2: How much longer until some other stupid school athletic director and president hires Sampson to coach - and destroy - another program?

Comment 1: You know some other school will sell its soul in a few years and hire Sampson, who will then go through his coach's rehab checklist and say he's learned his lesson, he's happy to have another opportunity and he wants to restore a winning tradition at insert school name here.

Comment 2: Although Indiana will have to man up and deal with the NCAA sanctions and its effect on the program's success, the school is in the rare position of not losing much face or regard in the court of public opinion. Typically when a school gets hit with a recruiting scandal, the school's image suffers. Not so in this case. This will be looked at as Sampson besmirching another school's reputation.

By Mark La Monica

Lil Romeo, aka Romeo, aka Master P's kid, signed a national letter of intent to play college basketball next season at USC.

Knuckle up, Stanford, knuckle up, hoody hoo! Cal, let me hear you say ughhhhhh! Na-na-na-nah.

Romeo, whose real name is Percy Miller (just like his pops), plays at Beverly Hills High, and word is he would smoke Brandon, Dylan, Steve, David and Scott at West Beverly on the court.

The guard, somewhere between 5-10 and 6-foot depending on what you read, averaged 13.9 points and 5.6 assists last season for BHH.

Daddy Romeo, aka Master P, was a bit of a baller in his day. He played in the preseason with a pair of NBA teams, but never made the final cut. Here's hoping Romeo makes his daddy proud. And here's hoping it happens for Romeo, incorporating some of daddy's lyrics:

Watch the Romeo letter signing press conference on TMZ.

By Mark La Monica

Here's a suggestion for all the exceptional, well-above-average and above-average college basketball underclassmen who are considering making the jump to the NBA this season: Don't do it.

Please don't misunderstand here. This has nothing to do with harmonizing on the sanctity of the phrase "scholar-athlete" and how not playing all four years in college is a detriment to the school and how some other poor sap with wicked chemistry fundamentals but no mid-range jumper would be better served with that scholarship money.

Far from it. This is about looking at life from a slightly different point of view.

Stay in school. Enjoy the beauty of college a little while longer. At least for one more year. There are no housing issues to worry about. Very few bills to pay. You're safe on campus.

Once you leave college, life changes. Doesn't matter if you're an athlete or not. It's about managing other people's expectations. In college, a panty raid on a sorority house is called "a prank." In the real world, it's called "breaking and entering" and "fined by the league."

The NBA money isn't going anywhere and it's not like UNC sophomore Tyler Hansbrough, Texas freshman Kevin Durant, Ohio State freshman Greg Oden, Florida junior Al Horford and all the others will have to repay any student loans. So, you've got a few more classes to consider attending. I know, I know, thumbing through the course handbook to register for an extra two semesters of classes can be a chore, but think of all the extra pep rallies, booster club dinners and television interviews you'll get to do. Plus, free meal plan!

Be the big man on campus for another season. You'll be praised by everyone in town. Students. Teachers. Advisors. Local business owners. Citizens in the community.

The media spends the entire season discussing the non-conference schedule, followed by the in-conference performance, followed by the conference tournament and who did enough to earn the No. 1 seed and who's on the bubble. That's seven more months of mostly positive exposure.

NCAA basketball is more of a national sport than the NBA. Everyone and their mother, literally, knows about "the brackets." Very few mothers ask if the Bucks beat the Hornets last Tuesday. Even in Milwaukee!

That's the often unappreciated aspect of being a big-time college star. The best college towns live and breathe with their teams. It's completely acceptable for a business to close and post a sign on its door reading "Will open up after the game" in a college town. Try that in a pro town. It doesn't fly.

A recent poll conducted by SI.com on Campus showed that 36 percent of students said their college's athletic reputation was a "significant factor" in deciding to go to the school. Another 34 percent said it was a "small factor" and 30 percent said it was "no factor."

Basically, fellas, seven out of every 10 students in your classes are there because you are. What more could you possibly ask for?

Fans of pro teams don't care that you caught your girlfriend cheating on you with some drunk fraternity dude. Fans of college teams do care. They'll ask if you want them to beat up the drunk fraternity dude. They may even accidentally fail the drunk fraternity dude on a test. Fans of pro teams are the drunk fraternity dude.

College fans travel. Pro fans rarely do. When you're on the road and you can look into the crowd and see a whole section of fans wearing your school colors, that's pretty cool. That doesn't happen in the NBA.

And consider this: being the coveted prize in the NBA Draft is not as cool and hip as it sounds. Sure, it's nice to say and it looks good on your player bio on the team's Web site, but that team was one of the 14 worst in the league last season. And likely the season before that, too. And the one after it. Since the NBA Draft Lottery was implemented in 1985, 60.2 percent of the teams in the lottery one year qualified for the lottery the following year (147 out of 244).*

Once you hit the lottery and get drafted by a marginal team, you'll toil in anonymity in such Orbitz Getaway Vacation Package destinations as Portland, Milwaukee, Oklahoma City, and of course, the effervescent Las Vegas-esque city of Salt Lake.

If you all wait another year, your draft class could be more competitive. Better to wait until a draft class looks deeper than Bill Gates' pockets and get drafted by a better team.

Soak up the pageantry of college basketball. Bask in its stately Xanadu. It captures the heart, mind and spirit of fans. Let it do the same to you.

* Total number reflects teams who earned a lottery pick prior to previous trade obligations.

By Mark La Monica

Take care, Dookies!

By Mark La Monica

I've always been amused when the college basketball experts start telling us who the No. 1 seeds will be in late January.

They continue right through February and then every other hour in March. As if this is going to make such a huge difference in our brackets or in the actual outcome of the tournament. Or will it?

At the end of one of ESPN's Bracketology shows this past Sunday night, Digger Phelps snuck in this little nugget right before they cut to a commercial: Only six of the past 20 No. 1 seeds have actually made it to the Final Four.

So much for picking the chalk, huh?

As I filled out three different brackets on Tuesday night, I noticed I had three No. 1 seeds reaching the Final Four on each bracket. Of course, I've never been right before, so I don't anticipate that changing anytime soon.

But I decided to explore Phelps' nugget of information further. Turns out his stat was correct. But there's more than one way to look at the numbers.

The NCAA switched to a 64-team format in 1985 (perhaps the greatest marketing strategy for a sport ever, by the way). In the 22 tournaments since (2007 not included), 60 of a possible 88 No. 1 seeds reached the Elite Eight.

Take the chalk!

Of those 60 teams, 36 advanced to the Final Four. As a group, No. 1 seeds are 36-24 in Elite Eight games, a .600 winning percentage.

Of those 36 Final Four appearances, No. 1 seeds reached the national championship game 19 times. Of those 19 appearances, 12 resulted in a national championship.

So, if you're wondering who will the tournament this year, there's a 54.5 percent chance it will be a No. 1 seed.

Here are a few more No. 1 seed stats to help/confuse you while filling out your brackets:

* 2006 is the first year a No. 1 seed did not reach the Final Four.
* Four No. 1 seeds have never all reached the Final Four.
* Three No. 1 seeds have reached the Final Four three times: 1993, 1997, 1999.
* No. 1 seed vs. No. 1 seed in the national championship game has happened three times: 1993, 1999, 2005.
(UNC won two of those titles, 1993 and 2005.)
* At least two No. 1 seeds have reached the Elite Eight every year except for 2000. (No. 1 Michigan State won it all that year.)
* All four No. 1 seeds have reached the Elite Eight in the same year four times: 1987, 1993, 2001, 2003.

Beat the Keyboard Quarterbacks and others in Newsday's Hoops Hysteria.

Read Adam Abramson's bracket breakdown in his Campus Confidential blog

By Mark La Monica

Here in New York, you can barely make it from your bed to the shower without hearing about the potential for a Subway Series between the Yankees and Mets.

Let's take a short timeout from all the baseball hype to ask this simple question: When can a basketball coach smile and not really care when one of his players misses an easy and uncontested dunk?

This rare instance happens when that dunk occurs toward the beginning of a split-squad scrimmage game meant to entertain fans during a Midnight Madness-type event at Carnesecca Arena.

During Thursday night's Storm Fest, the unofficial kickoff to the 2006-07 college basketball season at St. John's, Anthony Mason Jr. got serious air and went for a monster dunk. He missed.

Coach Norm Roberts, in his third season, smiled and laughed it off. Of course, the 1,645 fans in attendance laughed, too. Roberts has enough on his mind, like getting the Red Storm into the postseason this year. No sense worrying about one missed dunk at an event that is way less formal than a practice or even the Marathon Oil game.

"As a coach, you always want to see your players play hard," Roberts said. "I know it's a relaxed atmosphere. They're just out there to have fun."

That smile got a bit smaller as the night went on and the missed dunks progressed. Watching Roberts stifle his natural coaching instincts was interesting. There would be no reason for him to say anything about it. This is not even exhibition. It's just fun for the fans. But, when you're in that chair, on that bench, in that home arena, with those fans, the players on the court and the scoreboard working, it's second-nature at that point to want to coach.

Understand something here, people: This was just a glorified practice with a running clock and no whistles. So, there's no need to worry about anything from this little event aimed at getting fans fired up for the season. When it happens with frequency during a game, then you can be concerned. Until then, just be excited basketball is starting again.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled baseball talk.