Keyboard Quarterbacks

By Mark La Monica

When the entire nation -- and more than 200 other nations -- are talking about it the next day, you know you've got yourself a terrific sports day.

The Super Bowl, despite all the insanity leading up to it, is still a great day. So great, it's the eighth best sports day of the year.

It meets all the necessary requirements for inclusion: Big event, everyone knows when it happens, occurs every year around the same time, has implications far greater than just a game.

Ever since the NFL went to a bye week between Championship Sunday, the sixth best sports day of the year by the way, and the Super Bowl, many football fans have grumbled about the extra week of hype/worthless stories you'd never hear about it except for the fact that newspapers and TV stations needs words and images to fill their space.

But rather than lament about the slow, methodical demise of the Super Bowl's mystique, think about all the things we get on this final Sunday of meaningful football until September:

• A license, a mandate perhaps, to eat greasy, grimy, unhealthy food
• An excuse to party
• A somewhat acceptable excuse to consider calling in sick from work on Monday
• One more real football game
• Great deals at the supermarket
• Commercials worthy of watching instead of DVRing through them
• Societal acceptance to discuss all those commercials the next day at work, thereby delaying having to work
• Halftime extravaganzas
• The chance to watch previous Super Bowl highlights from NFL Films on ESPN
• 43 hours of pregame garbage programming

OK, so maybe that last one wasn't such a perk. But it does add to the mighty American tradition that is the Super Bowl. And if your team is fortunate enough to make it the final day of the season, then you'll watch and read everything you can find.

Such overhyping often causes the game to stink. In recent years, we've had some great games, though. From the Patriots beating the Rams (Damn you, Vinatieri!) to the Patriots beating the Eagles and Panthers (Damn you, Brady and Belichick). From the Titans coming up 1 yard shot against the Rams to the Jets beating the Colts (OK, so that one was in Super Bowl III but whatever.)

No matter how much exposure there is leading up to the game, no matter how lame the game may wind up being, it's still the Super Bowl. It has its place firmly stamped on the fabric of American sports. This thing is bigger than Nino Brown.

The Best Sports Days of the Year
1. Opening Day for baseball
2. The start of March Madness
3. Pitchers and catchers report
4. NFL Sunday Week 1
5. Selection Sunday
6. NFL Conference Championship Sunday
7. NFL Draft
8. Super Bowl Sunday
9. Sunday at The Masters
10. Kentucky Derby*

Honorable Mention
• FIrst televised baseball game for your team
• Bowl games on New Year's Day

* Upon further review, the Kentucky Derby has moved from first runner-up to No. 10 on the list, replacing the first televised baseball game of your favorite team. That game, almost always a spring training game, is still a good day, but perhaps we were caught up in the emotion of it a little too much to think rationally.

By Mark La Monica

Road trips are cool.

You and your people piled into the car and headed somewhere. It never really mattered where you were headed, at least not in retrospect.

Looking back, what we remember is the journey we took to get there. Those are the stories we tell now, years after the fact. And when outsiders hear the stories and ask where you were going, you never seem to be able that question. That's OK. It's the journey that mattered.

That's what NFL Conference Championship Sunday is.

After four-plus months of football, we're finally at the most important and decisive weekend. Four teams, two games. The winners earn a trip to the most glorified sporting event in America, the Super Bowl. But it's the journey that we all enjoy.

It's the 20th Sunday of the season and the sixth best sports day of the year.

The Super Bowl has its place on this list (which should be pretty easy to figure out by now) but it's not as good as Conference Championship Weekend. Roughly seven hours of intense football is much better than seven hours of lame pre-game hype, don't you think? Why watch people talking when you can watch people playing?

In "National Lampoon's Vacation," Chevy Chase drives his family across the country to visit Wally World amusement park. When they arrive in the parking lot, Chase's character Clark Griswold races his son, Rusty (played by Anthony Michael Hall), across the lot. That's Conference Championship Weekend. When they arrive at the entrance, the park is closed. Very often, that's the Super Bowl.

It never matters who's actually playing in these games, although this season we have some intriguing storylines. Peyton vs. Brady. The Bears vs. America. Doesn't matter. Football fans will watch both games. Most Sundays, we find the time to watch our favorite team on television and then maybe parts of the other games.

Not this Sunday.

This is the day -- really, the final football weekend of the season for the hardcore fan -- where you make sure to run all your errands on Saturday and put off that memo to the boss until Monday morning. Being among the first to know who will play in the Super Bowl is just as important as paying your bills on time and making sure the car has enough anti-freeze in it for the impending winter weather.

There's a comfort level we have in watching these games. Having a base knowledge of the teams leading up to the Super Bowl helps us decide how to watch the big game, who to root for and how to strategically pick boxes in the office pool with randomly assigned numbers.

It's like buying stock. Wise investors don't throw darts at a board. They study. They learn. They get inside information.

Missing the Super Bowl is not the worst thing in the world for a sports fan. Missing Conference Championship Weekend is.

The Best Sports Days of the Year
1. Opening Day for baseball
2. The start of March Madness
3. Pitchers and catchers report
4. NFL Sunday Week 1
5. Selection Sunday
6. NFL Conference Championship Sunday
7. NFL Draft
8. Super Bowl Sunday
9. Sunday at The Masters
10. Kentucky Derby*

Honorable Mention
• FIrst televised baseball game for your team
• Bowl games on New Year's Day

By Mark La Monica

USC versus Michigan in the Rose Bowl on New Year’s Day. Two historic programs playing in the granddaddy of ’em all to start a new calendar year and end an athletic year.

Can it get any better than that?

Yes, it can.

Ever since the big, big, big money entered college football, along with the BCS system, the beauty of bowl games on New Year’s Day has slowly lost its looks with each passing year.

Long ago, New Year’s Day was the fourth best sports day of the year. The Cotton Bowl. The Rose Bowl. The Orange Bowl. The Fiesta Bowl. The Sugar Bowl. The Gator Bowl. They were all on television the same day, with the national champion being crowned that evening.

Now, we’re left with honorable mention honors on the Best Sports Days of the Year list.

(For those new to this list, to qualify for “Best Sports Day,” the day must occur every year, not be a fluke in scheduling – i.e., a rainout rescheduled or playoff series Game 7 – and is not dependent on the teams playing.)

This year, we saw the Rose and the Cotton, the Fiesta and the Gator, the Capital One and the Outback. But no national champion. We have to wait until Jan. 8 for that game, the blandly titled BCS National Championship Game.

That’ll be a fun few hours, perhaps, as No. 1 Ohio State plays No. 2 Florida in Glendale, Ariz.

However, the cachet of New Year’s Day is gone. There was something special about watching a half-dozen football games knowing that was the last day you could watch college football until the end of August.

There were some fantastic moments from the Jan. 1, 2007, highlighted by the insane final moments of the Fiesta between Boise State and Oklahoma. USC’s Dwayne Jarrett had some fun in the Rose. West Virginia came back to beat Georgia Tech in the Gator.

But if you missed these games live, it’s not as upsetting as it used to be. That’s got nothing to do with the advent of TiVo and DVRs and everything to do with money infecting the NCAA. Too many bowl games before New Year’s Day. Too many games before Christmas Day.

We’ll never get back the true joy of New Year’s Day bowl games. We’ve got the games, but not the aura. No botox or Dr. 90210 can restore this former beauty queen.

Not when a tortilla chip and a credit card

If and when the NCAA goes to a plus-one format to decide its national champion, or at least reconfigures its current system, New Year’s Day bowl games will become even less significant.

What’s in your wallet, NCAA?

The Best Sports Days of the Year
1. Opening Day for baseball
2. The start of March Madness
3. Pitchers and catchers report
4. NFL Sunday Week 1
5. Selection Sunday
6. NFL Conference Championship Sunday
7. NFL Draft
8. Super Bowl Sunday
9. Sunday at The Masters
10. Kentucky Derby*

Honorable Mention
• FIrst televised baseball game for your team
• Bowl games on New Year's Day

By Mark La Monica

Get the grill out! It's time to tailgate !

Slap some bacon, eggs and sauzeech on there for the early morning session. Fire up the burgers, hot dogs and sauzeech for the late-morning session before the game.

Who cares if you're not actually at a football stadium today, it's the first NFL Sunday of the season and it requires the proper apprecation.

The first Sunday of the NFL season is the fourth best sports day of the year. It fits all the criteria for inclusion on this list:

- Occurs every year around the same time.
- Is completely worthy of all its hype.
- Gets sports fans around the country fired up.
- Has a national scope to it.
- Is considered a worthy news event for the regular front-of-the-newspaper readers.
- Every team involved has hope, excitement and a chance to win it all.

So put on that jersey of this year's big free-agent signing or top draft pick. Or maybe you like it old-school and still have the jersey from your team's 1983 Pro Bowl linebacker. Heck, even wearing a Curtis Conway No. 81 Jets jersey would be acceptable on this day.

Throw those Nerf Turbos all over the stadium parking lot or the street in front of your house. Run across your neighbor's lawn, cut around the tree, then use your dad's car as a pick to get open for the touchdown.

Football is back.  Every team has a chance to make the Super Bowl today, even the Jets. And with the salary cap era of the NFL, no one really knows who will be good enough to get to Miami in February.

Every sport's season opening deserves some pomp and even some circumstance.  Only Major League Baseball's Opening Day carries more excitement.

Today, we get nine games in the 1 p.m. slot, three at 4:15 and the Sunday Night game. Then, a Monday Night doubleheader, which is my opinion, is a complete travesty but the networks paying hundreds of millions to broadcast the games would disagree.

Every game matters in the NFL. It's not like baseball or the NBA or the NHL where a two-game losing streak is acceptable and understood.  In the NFL, a two-game losing streak can be much more brutal.

The NFL has positioned itself as a truly national sport. They've made Jaguars fans care how the Cardinals did last week. Eagles fans need to know if the Broncos won. Or whatever combination you prefer to use. The point is football fans are interested in everything NFL.

And it all begins today, the fourth best sports day of the year.

By Mark La Monica

Mint juleps, outlandish hats, good-looking Southern Belles and the chance to gamble legally.

It’s a sultry combination, a recipe just powerful enough to earn the Kentucky Derby the No. 10 spot on our Best Sports Days of the Year List.

Think about it: 99.3 percent of America knows less than nothing about the world of horse racing, but everyone wants a piece of the action on the first Saturday each May.

The actual Kentucky Derby, better known in American mainstream vernacular as “The Derby,” lasts all of two minutes, or 0.138 percent of the week. But once that last horse is entered into the starting gate, the great majority of America can’t tell you about anything that happened the first six days of the week. Just fire off that starter’s pistol, let the doors fly open and give me that announcer boasting into his microphone, “And they’re off!”

From there, it’s a mad dash to the finish, with plenty of money to be had. Such is the great spectacle of American life brought upon by the Run for the Roses at Churchill Downs: people from different classes and backgrounds merging together in the name of a horse.

Will the speed horses win out? Will the closers make a move late? Can the favorite live up to its esteemed position? Does the longshot have a shot? What about that horse with the great name and no real pedigree? These are questions that get answered quicker than a lightning round on a game show.

For some, the Derby is about finding the best value and playing for a big payday.

For some, the Derby is about just being able to say, “Yeah, I picked the Derby winner.”

For some, the Derby is about thousand-dollar mint juleps and “being seen.”

For some (OK, a small few), the Derby is about a huge purse for owning the winning horse.

The horse and jockey who win the race will be showered with adulation and a glorious fortune. It will then kick off two weeks of unparalleled publicity leading into the Preakness at Pimlico Downs in Maryland. If sports had an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor, the Derby champion would win it every year. (The Super Bowl MVP is almost always sports’ Best Actor, except for maybe Tampa Bay’s Dexter Jackson and Dallas’ Larry Brown.)

And to think it all goes down in two minutes and we’ll never hear a word out of the true star.

By Mark La Monica

What makes the NFL Draft the seventh best sports day each year? Everything.

It’s got anticipation, excitement, unpredictability, emotion, practical application, fan despair, depth, potential anguish in the green room, a checkered history of first-round picks by the Jets, Michael Irvin suits and Mel Kiper Jr.’s hair.

What more could we ask for from 0.274 percent of the year? We'll take it one section at a time as we dissect the anatomy of the seventh best sports day of the year.

Anticipation
No other professional sports draft gets as much attention as the NFL. Teams invest incredible amounts of time, money and energy in researching players. Scouting combines are newsworthy events. Fans do their own mock drafts and waste hours of life debating which direction their team should go in with their first pick.

Some teams’ fans are fortunate enough to begin their draft preparation midway through the season when their team has proven its terribleness. That just doesn’t happen in any other pro sport. With a month left in a baseball season, you don’t see Royals fans bringing “Play for the draft pick” signs to Kauffman Stadium. The NBA has a lottery, so that makes playing for the worst record a waste of time.

Excitement
Ever see those crazies on television with their faces painted yet there is no game being played? That’s what the NFL has created with its annual job fair for college kids.  No matter where you are on Draft Day, you want to know who got picked when. You could be enjoying a splendid day at the beach with your significant other, but there's a part of you that is dying to know which defensive back went first. That's what the best sports day do. They make us think about the event all day.

Unpredictability
Who knows who’s going where? No one. We all may think we have a good idea of how the draft with play out, but then here come the Jets at No. 4 and the Raiders at No. 7, or wherever they happen to pick in a particular season. These two teams are famous for Gary Busey-ing (i.e., completely messing up) the world’s draft boards.

Teams play poker with the media and other teams. No general manager wants to show his hand, except for, on occasion, the one with the No. 1 pick. So when one pick goes awry, it turns into a battle royal.

There is also the Ryan Leaf factor, which forces us to wonder which player will be a monumental bust, become a cautionary tale for future decision makers and turn every writer and broadcaster into Rodney Dangerfield with one-line zingers years later.

Not to mention the Tom Brady factor, which forces us to wonder which late-rounder will emerge as the best in the league at his position.

Don't forget about trades. They can happen at any time in any round. It's enough to make a fan lose his or her mind.

Emotion
Players cry when they get picked and hug their families and agents. They hide disgust from the omnipresent national television cameras when they don’t get picked. Eagles fans are guaranteed to boo no matter what happens. Jets fans are conditioned to teter on the edge with excitement until their intestines begin to riot with their stomach over the latest outrageous pick.

That fans even gather themselves at the draft site to express their opinions about a player yet to wear their new team’s uniform says all you need to know about the emotion surrounding Draft Day in the NFL.

Practical Application
Teams need to fill holes. A draft fills this need quite effectively.

Fan Despair
Some of them actually get mad when a particular player is drafted over another player. Such lunacy is oddly refreshing.

Depth
When all the picks are completed, teams can assess what they’ve got and how they’ve filled holes and replenished the franchise. This is the start to the circle of NFL life. Then there’s the little matter of four million people to choose from and all those great second-day stories about how the cornerback from a Division II program was paralyzed from the waist down for three hours after a game in high school and the doctors never thought he’d walk again, let alone play football and here he is being drafted by an NFL team.

Potential Anguish in the Green Room
Remember the 432 cutaways to Cal quarterback Aaron Rodgers in the green room last year? It hurt, didn’t it? Watching Rodgers, a potential No. 1 pick, attempt to keep a straight face as he fell to the Packers at No. 22 was equal parts painful and intriguing. Not unlike watching the Miss America beauty pageant hoping someone will fall.

A Checkered History of First-Round Picks by the Jets
“It’s obvious to me right now that the Jets just don’t understand what the draft is all about,” Mel Kiper Jr. said in 1989 after the Jets drafted Jeff Lageman at No. 14.

If you value martyrdom, as most Jets fans do, watch this video. But don’t say you weren’t warned.

Michael Irvin Suits
Seriously, few things are more enjoyable than watching these millionaires-to-be copy The Playmaker with outlandish, bright colored, 12-buttoned suits with pimp-wide collars.

Mel Kiper Jr.’s hair.
It’s only a matter of time before he erupts in his seat, looks into the camera in disgust and blurts out, “I didn’t even have him on my board!” all the while keeping his hair stationary. The wonders of mousse will never cease to amaze.

By Mark La Monica

Most days, golf can be more boring than boring to watch on television. Not this past Sunday. Not at Augusta.

We're talking about the final round of The Masters, the ninth best sports day of the year.

It's not so much the actual striking of the ball and the walking to the ball and the striking of the ball again and the walking to the ball again and the putting of the ball and the picking up of the ball and the repeating of that process 18 times that makes the final round of The Masters so compelling. Surely, all that stuff is just like any other day television decides to broadcast live golf events.

The enjoyment of the final round is the pressure and the pursuit of the green jacket, golf's most coveted prize. It's golf first major of the season and deeply rooted in tradition, just like the CBS commercial spots for it say. It's played at the same course every year -- Augusta National Golf Club -- whereas the U.S. Open, British Open and PGA Championship move around each year.

This sort of tradition deserves a sports fan respect and admiration.

Plus, the broadcast has very few commercial breaks, thanks in part to Martha Burk's protesting about sexism at the club a few years ago and Hootie Johnson's decision to not use advertising in response to Burk's threat of boycotting those companies who bought advertising time on CBS.

You may hate to play, hate to watch, hate to even hear about golf, but a true sports fan must see the bigger picture of the American sporting landscape and embrace its mighty, cross-platform appeal. The Masters is big business, just like every other professional sport, and Sunday is golf's Super Bowl.

It's as good as golf gets, regardless of who's in contention on the final day. This year, we lucked into a great Sunday, full of the biggest names in the sport, an old guy recapturing his younger form in Freddy "Boom Boom" Couples, the amazing scenery that is Augusta, some extra holes thanks to Saturday's third round being suspended partly through because of rain, and the soldification of Phil Mickelson as a major champion with his second green jacket in three years.

No matter the storyline, Sunday at Augusta remains a great day for sports. So great, it's the ninth best sports day each year.

By Mark La Monica

Sitting on a chair on the corner of 57th Street and 7th Avenue on the sort of beautiful spring Sunday that is morally illegal to remain indoors, a jazz man worked his saxophone. The tune was instantly recognizable.

The jazz man played "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" and there was no way for passers by to refrain from internally reviewing the words of that classic tune.

It was the perfect mood and scene setter for today, Monday, the best sports day of the year! Opening Day for baseball.

It may seem anticlimactic to reveal the No. 1 sports day of the year before the entire list is complete, but changing the way the calendar works is not possible at this time.

Of the other 364 days on the calendar (or sometimes 365), they all are a distant second to the first day of Major League Baseball.

We even set the clocks an hour ahead the weekend before Opening Day just so news of the first pitch will reach us sooner.

Legally speaking, the 2006 season began on Sunday night when the Chicago White Sox hosted and beat the Cleveland Indians, 10-4. But that doesn't count.

Even ESPN, which televised Sunday night's game, has been promoting today's slate of games as "Opening Day."

Besides, the Sunday night opener is for marketing and television purposes, and it was marketing and television purposes that destroyed what was once the fourth best sports day of the year -- New Year's Day when all the college football bowl games were on.

Baseball rosters have been cut to 25. Tickets have been sold. Hot dogs have been ordered. The smell of roasted peanuts and fresh jumbo pretzels wofts through the air whether you're in the stadium or not.

Opening day – the real opening day – of the Major League Baseball season as arrived.

Thoughts of these aromas evoke a few rituals for diehard fans. Whether it's cutting school or creating a new 24-hour virus excuse to tell the boss, there's no way a baseball fan can miss that first televised pitch of opening day on ESPN.

This year, that pitch will roll off the left hand of Mets starter Tom Glavine, just a few minutes after 1 o'clock this afternoon.

Opening day will forever be an American tradition, an American holiday. It really should be printed on every calendar sold in the states.

The beginning of the baseball season ignites fans like no other sport. And when news of the first hit breaks, look out. Fantasy baseball participants begin furiously typing e-mails to league members saying their team will win it all this year because their player got that hit off of someone else's pitcher.

Those watching on television will hear something to the effect of, "And there it is, the first hit of the new season."

Fans at Shea Stadium have two choices. Mets fans will most probably be upset if the first hit of the season came in the top half of the first inning. However, those faithful Nationals fans that made the trek from Washington D.C. will cheer on their hometown heroes.

Either way, the fun of rooting through your favorite team's ups and downs for the next six or seven months has returned. You can wake up every morning, check the box scores. Who had a double last night? Anyone hit a sacrifice fly? Who moved runners up? Who grounded into a double play? Who's pitching for and against us tonight?

Remember last year when Braden Looper served up that two-run bomb to Joe Randa and the Mets gave up three runs in the bottom of the ninth to lose the opener at Cincinnati? Ultimately, the game didn't mean anything in the final standings, but how crushing was that loss for Mets fans? Conversely, Yankee fans reveled in their 9-2 win over Boston on Opening Day at Yankee Stadium.

Victory on Opening Day puts fans in a good mood. That's all we want. Give us some hope for the season, a reason to drop mad cash for tickets and hot dogs and programs and t-shirts and souvenir-cup sodas. Let us start the dumb-but-still-fun "We're on pace for 162 wins."

By Mark La Monica

Back in the day when responsibilities didn't interfere with life's great joys, DJ friend Blasmaster Scurvy Scurv and I would congregate at a designated location on the first day of March Madness with one thing in hand: the brackets!

He was guaranteed to have at least two brackets, with one of them having Kentucky winning the NCAA championship. I was guaranteed to bring at least three brackets, with one of them having North Carolina triumphing over those punks from Duke on that glorious first Monday night in April.

We wanted to be covered just in case our college basketball dreams came true that year. But, of course, money and pride were on the line, so multiple brackets were necessary.

Classes on this day - the second best sports day of the year - were simply not an option. Sorry, but there's simply no way a communication theory class is more important than the first day of March Madness.

Classes on the next day - also the second best sports day of the year - were simply not an option either. Sorry, but there's simply no way a business writing class is more important than the second day of March Madness.

What would we learn in 55 minutes that was more enlightening than that first time CBS goes to the four-game screen where we can everything and nothing at the same time? I mean, seriously.

There is only one sports day each year that is better than the start of March Madness. And I'll reveal the No. 1 spot on The Best Sports Days of the Year list when the calendar says it's time.

For now, let's revel in the beauty of watching 12 hours of basketball and stressing over how that 13-seed upsetting the 4-seed is great for us in two office pools, terrible for us in those four other online pools and of no consequence in our "practice" pool.

For now, let's soak in the majesty of underdogs runnin' with the big dogs for the first 36 minutes of the game and making us root for teams with three geographic directionals in their school's name.

For now, let's dance the perfect bracket dance as we cruise through the first set of games with eyes on 16-for-16 for the day.

For now, let's eat up those daytime minutes calling friends and discussing the latest mix of "Did you just see that?" and "How many brackets did you have that on" and "Your team stinks!"

Put homework or job stuff on hold. That term paper will still be there for you to write well after the first wave of games ends. And when Lumbergh strolls over to your desk and inquires about that TPS report, look him straight in the eye and ask them, "How's your bracket?"

For the love of Pete, this is the second best sports day of the year. Celebrate.

By Mark La Monica

It’s a few minutes after 3 p.m. and the SEC and ACC champions have just been crowned.

It’s a few minutes after 5 p.m. and the Big 12 champion just secured a place in March Madness.

It’s a few more minutes after 5 p.m. now and the Big 10 champion is headed to the Big Dance.

But in which bracket? What seed? Who’s their first-round opponent?

Syracuse lit up the Big East and played its way directly into the NCAA Tournament this week. But how high a seed with the Orange receive on Sunday after being considered a bubble team on Wednesday.

C’mon CBS, I need to see the No. 1 seeds. Hurry. Now! Forget the commercials. No more bracketology speculation. They’re all useless filler. I need brackets! I need teams in those brackets!

Wait, it’s 6 p.m. and here comes Greg Gumbel on CBS.  Yes, they are finally here. My No. 1 seeds. My bracket. Madness has officially started!

And here come the 5-seeds flying onto the screen. Which one looks prime to lose to a 12-seed in the first round as happens every year?

Ooooh, there's the CBS camera in the room of  a bubble team. Hooray, that team made it. Elation all around.

Uh oh, there's the CBS camera in the room of  a bubble team. That team didn't make it. Dejection all around. Ouch. Sorry, fellas, but hey, you might get a home game in the NIT.

Any sleepers out there? Did anyone from the Big East not make it? How will the NCAA selection committee stack the deck for Duke?

For these reasons, and about 438 others, Selection Sunday ranks fifth on the list of best sports day of the year.

Selection Sunday sets up how a sports fan handles the next three weeks of the year. That’s the kind of power we’re talking about here. It’s amazing – and scary – how a piece of paper with a bunch of lines all leading to one final line in the middle can uproot a nation. So many people, so many brackets.

Handing in the answer key to your office pool administrator is the goal of every bracket filler-outter. Everyone thinks their Final Four is the Final Four. Everyone usually isn’t right. That’s why we have trial and error.

No self-respecting sports fan fills out just one bracket. It’s un-American. It's like washing your car in the rain and buying a Gulp from 7-Eleven.  It makes no sense and everyone who sees it will mock you endlessly.

In the month of March, I can set aside my traditional greeting of “What’s up, guy?” to people and replace it with “How’s your bracket?” or “Who’s your Final Four?” or “Which 1-seed do you have losing early?” Try saying that to your boss instead of “Hello” one morning in July or November and you’ll go one of two places: A state-sponsored shrink in a padded room or HR for an exit interview.

But March Madness is called March Madness for a reason. Schools such as Valparaiso and Bucknell and Vermont and Delaware State and FDU can give the big dogs of college hoops a run for their money on national television. In some cases, they can win. No one remembers how far No. 14 Valpo went in 1998, but everyone remembers Bryce Drew’s three-pointer to beat No. 3 Ole Miss in the first round.

That “One Shining Moment” begins on Selection Sunday, the fifth best sports day of the year.

By Mark La Monica

Snow, sleet, hail, rain and two hours of root canal conspired to cast asunder the 10th best sports day of the year.

But all the novocaine and nitrous gas in the Northern Hemisphere could not keep me away from the YES Network at 1 p.m. Thursday for the first televised spring training game of the season.

Sure, the game means less than nothing. And, yes, in today's world of regional sports networks and crazy cable programming, we are able to watch more than one or two spring training games each March. Ten years ago, we'd be happy to get one game on television.

But this doesn't diminish the first runner-up for our 10 best sports days of the year -- the first televised spring game of your favorite baseball team.

For Yankees fans, that was today, Thursday, March 02, 2006. Shawn Chacon got the start in the Grapefruit League opener, a 6-3 loss to the Phillies. 

Of course, none of this matters in the grand scheme of the season and pursuing a World Series ring. But it's still fun to check off the landmarks of the approaching baseball season.

Gene Michael threw out the first pitch. Michael Kay made corny jokes. The Yankees wore their pinstripes for the opener, the only time they'll do that until the first game at Yankee Stadium on April 11 against the Royals.

Johnny Damon had his first official at-bat, a double. Johnny Damon had his second official at-bat, a single.

Mama La Monica made her first outrageous comment of the season. "Who is this Mike Myers guy?" she said. "Already I don't like him."

Ah, Myers must have given up some runs. Oh, lookee here, he did. Three runs in one inning. The first bad bullpen outing of the season. Equally unimportant as all the other stuff from today's game, but noteworthy nonetheless. Let's hope we don't have to care about this in June.

By Mark La Monica

Pitchers and catchers for eight teams report to spring training today, marking the official start of the 2006 baseball season.

This is officially the third best sports day of the year. The other days on this list will be addressed when the calendar says they have arrived.

For now, we shall revel in the beauty of baseball returning to our sporting landscape. This is a glorious time, a time to lather up your glove with shaving cream and start stretching your rotator cuff in anticipation of watching and reading about baseball for the next nine months. Box scores, grand slams, near no-hitters, pitching probables, Baseball Tonight.

We are that much closer to exploding sliders, conniving changeups, hanging curveballs, home runs, diving stops, shoestring catches, managerial second-guessing.

It is irrelevant that nothing actually happens on this day. It is enough just to say that today is the day pitchers and catchers report.

All that occurs on this day is those who throw baseballs toward the plate and those who sit behind the plate to catch them show up at their team’s respective facilities in Florida or Arizona. They smile for some photographers, sign some autographs, talk with some reporters.

So why do we get excited about this? Simple. It’s the ceremonial end to winter, regardless of what that little groundhog says. He’s just lazy and wants to sleep in a few extra weeks.

Turn off that hot stove and fire up the radar gun. Make the strength and conditioning coach relevant for a few weeks. Let’s debate the fourth and fifth starters. We can even accept one “pitching wins championships” and one “every team has a chance today” cliché on this day.

Want to talk middle relief? Or maybe about the lefty set-up men? These discussions can begin in earnest now.

We need our pitchers to start loosening upon their shoulders and elbows. If our team is going to have a chance at winning the division or the wild card, or at least giving us a chance to enjoy the summer, we need to get cracking early. The world champion White Sox didn’t get any worse from last season.

Baseball fans can report for the season by sending me an email.

The Best Sports Days of the Year

1. Opening Day for baseball

2. The start of March Madness

3. Pitchers and catchers report

4. NFL Sunday Week 1

5. Selection Sunday

6. NFL Conference Championship Sunday

7. NFL Draft

8. Super Bowl Sunday

9. Sunday at The Masters

10. Kentucky Derby*

Honorable Mention

• FIrst televised baseball game for your team

• Bowl games on New Year's Day