Keyboard Quarterbacks

By Mark La Monica

Athletes can be brash. Athletes can be funny. Athletes can even answer a question from a reporter with remarkable honesty.

Of course, it doesn't always happen. But when it does, we should celebrate it. Henceforth, we bring you the first installment of "Props," our new series those moments in sports that go counter to the accepted norm of not doing anything that may wind up on the proverbial bulletin board of an opponent's locker room.

Props to Hope Solo, the U.S. women's soccer goalkeeper who was benched for the World Cup semifinals in favor of former champion Brianna Scurry. After Scurry gave up four goals in a 4-0 loss to Brazil, Solo hammered her coach, Greg Ryan, and Scurry. Among her quotes: "It was the wrong decision" and "The fact of the matter is, it's not 2004 anymore." Good for her. Speak your mind, Hope!

Props to U.S. women's soccer coach Greg Ryan who had the guts to basically say, "Oh yeah, Hope, you wanna hammer me? OK, you're off the team for the consolation game." Granted, it was only the third-place game, which is more of a waste of time and television space than the NFL Pro Bowl, but still. An impressive move. First Amendment and free speech be damned!

Props to Jimmy Rollins, the Philadelphia shortstop who during spring training claimed his Phillies were the team to beat in the National League East. It may have taken all 162 games to prove it, but the Phillies proved it. And Rollins is the leading candidate for NL MVP. Gotta admire the testicular fortitude.

Props to Oakland Raiders quarterback Daunte Culpepper. He returned to Miami to play the Dolphins, the team that screwed with him last year and then traded him this year in favor of Trent Green. He stuck it to Miami on Sunday by throwing two touchdowns and running for three scores in a 35-17 win. After one of those touchdown runs, he looked at the Miami sideline, pointed to his surgically repaired knee a few times and gave the "OK" signal with his hand. It's bad enough for the Dolphins that he smoked them for five touchdowns, but then to rub it in that his knee -- the reason the Dolphins traded him -- is fine. Ouch. The Raiders are 2-2. The Dolphins are 0-4. Ouch, ouch.

Props to Tony Romo, the Dallas Cowboys quarterback who after a bad snap that went over his head, bumbled the initial scoop-up, kicked it back another 15 yards, then picked it up, ran it 33 yards back to the line of scrimmage and then another 4 yards to pick up the first down on third-and-3 (Watch the play). Great play in the final minute of the first half in a 7-7 game that ended up 35-7, but that's not why we salute him today. In the post-game, Romo joked (give or take a word), "That play is the reason why we won the game." Humor goes a long way in sports press conferences.

By Mark La Monica

The story goes like this:

Jenni Carlson of The Oklahoman writes a column in the Saturday paper about how the attitude of OSU quarterback Bobby Reid helped lose his starting job.

Mike Gundy, head coach of Oklahoma State, goes off on the columnist in a wonderful tirade on Saturday night. Watch it below.

On Tuesday, Carlson fires back.

At all points between Saturday's column hitting newsstands and Web sites and Tuesday's published response, readers and fans post comments online.

Gundy contended that 75 percent of Carlson's initial column was incorrect. Of course, he never said which facts were wrong on Saturday. Nor did he do so on Monday when asked specifically about those facts by Carlson and two other reporters.

Who's right? Who's wrong? Who cares (aside from Carlson, as she should)? We the outsiders get to sit back, read, watch and enjoy the show. Who needs free movie passes when we get free Internet access at work?

By Karen Bailis

TRENTON -- She might be one of the greatest college players in the game right now, but at heart, Candice Wiggins is just a star-struck kid.

If she keeps playing like she did in her first game with the U.S. women’s senior national basketball team, she’s the one who’ll have others star-struck.

The Stanford University senior guard scored 18 points in 21 minutes of play in Team USA’s 96-64 win over the Aussies in Trenton in preparation for an Olympic qualifying tournament in Chile next week. The 20-year-old also picked four steals, dished two assists and made one block. Only veteran Tina Thompson, a 2004 gold medalist and four-time WNBA champion, scored more points, with 21 – in 24 minutes.

Still, after the game at Sovereign Bank Arena, Wiggins, who like Thompson went 3-for-4 from behind the arc, bubbled with effusive praise for her teammates and appeared ready to pinch herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming about playing with the veterans she grew up admiring.

“These players, I was young and I was watching and they all changed women’s basketball,” Wiggins said. “To be on the same court with them is kind of overwhelming, but it’s very inspirational. You learn a lot about … I’ve learned so much in these past eight days as I have in my whole career basically. It’s amazing, obviously.”

Wiggins is part of the youth movement on the senior national team, getting their shots while some of the mainstays have moved on (Dawn Staley, now coaching, and Yolanda Griffith) or can’t play because of injury (Sheryl Swoopes and Tamika Catchings) or giving birth (Lisa Leslie). She joined two other collegians, Courtney Paris of Oklahoma and Candace Parker of Tennessee, on the 10-woman roster that also was depleted because of the WNBA Finals. Cappie Pondexter and Diana Taurasi of the WNBA champion Phoenix Mercury and Katie Smith of the Detroit Shock are expected to join the team. Cheryl Ford and Deanna Nolan of the Shock are nursing injuries.

The 5-11 Wiggins can play point or shooting guard and is trying to learn as much as possible from Staley, a three-time gold medalist and her coach this summer at the Pan Am Games, and starting point Sue Bird, a gold medalist, WNBA champ and two-time NCAA champ. Her college coach, Tara Van Derveer, who coached the U.S. to Olympic gold in 1996, has told Wiggins stories about that team and its legendary guards, Staley and Teresa Edwards, who won a record four basketball golds. But Wiggins couldn’t bring herself to chat with Edwards when she was at training camp in Manhattan.

“I was kind of too nervous to try,” she said and giggled. “It’s like, what do you say? I get so … I’m star struck. Even now I’m like, ‘Oh my gosh, that’s Sue Bird!’ You know, whatever they say, you listen and just show so much respect. … And now you just want to inspire people like that, you want to be a better player because of that.”

The play of the young stars impressed their elder teammates, especially DeLisha Milton-Jones, 33, who Thompson pointed out was the most senior on the senior national team.
“The future of USA Basketball is very bright, very, very bright,” Milton-Jones said. “I was just talking with Dawn Staley, and I was telling her, ‘Man, these girls are phenomenal. They’re big, they’re mobile, they’re playing above the rim, it’s like, what have y’all been eating or what is your momma feeding you? Give me some of that.’ … I’m really impressed with them, and they’re also modest and humble. That’s the thing that I feel is most precious about the young players. They’re so eager to learn and … they’re not complacent about where they are, their skill level and everything.”

Paris, 6-3 and 250, and the youngest player on the team at 19, recorded 12 points and 3 assists. Parker, 6-4, had 8 points and 3 steals, and Jessica Davenport, 6-5, of the Liberty, the only WNBA rookie on the squad, tallied 9 points.

“Just the fact that those guys could step and kind of make it happen immediately makes it a lot easier for us,” Thompson said. “So our strength, especially for this tournament, is definitely going to be our inside game, just because we have an advantage, we’re a little bigger, our posts are very versatile and agile. So hopefully we’ll take advantage of it.”

Sometimes, though, the rookie posts take advantage of their youth, like the time Wiggins and Parker asked Thompson, 32, when she graduated from college. When she answered 1997, the same year the WNBA started, Davenport chimed in that she was in the seventh grade at the time.

Still, Parker recalled with reverence how she and Wiggins were chatting about being 10 or 11 years old and first seeing the Nike commercial that starred Thompson and Houston Comets teammates Swoopes and Cynthia Cooper.

“We’re in a generation where we grew up watching women play basketball,” Parker said.

And Paris said that’s brought success.

“We’re just products of how our sport has grown, and we’re just offering that trying to help out USA Basketball.”

By Karen Bailis

Sue Bird, the basketball dynamo from Syosset, sits after Team USA practice in Manhattan with an ice bag wrapped around her left knee and calculates that from Dec. 1, 2006, through the 2008 Olympics, she’ll have had six weeks off from playing basketball.

Bird, 26, plays for the WNBA Seattle Storm in the summer, goes to Russia to play in the winter and represents her country as the starting point guard on the U.S. women’s national team.

She is among the majority of WNBA players who make the bulk of their livelihood overseas, where compensation is better and the schedule of play not as demanding.

A few top players – namely Bird’s former UConn teammate Diana Taurasi, starring right now in the WNBA Finals for the Phoenix Mercury, and Tina Thompson, a four-time WNBA champ with the Houston Comets – have been contemplating playing solely overseas because of the wear and tear on their bodies from playing year-round.

Taurasi and Thompson will be joining Bird on the national team when they play Sept. 26-20 in the FIBA Americas Championship to qualify for the Olympics. The three also will play together for Spartak Moscow.

Bird, who has won championships at practically every level from Christ the King high school to the Olympics, realizes as much as anyone how tough it is to keep playing – she had arthroscopic surgery on her left knee in July to repair a torn meniscus and barely missed a beat – but she’s going to keep it up.

“It’s tough, I think every individual will have their own opinion on this based on how old they are, how many years they’ve played,” she said. “For some, they have family to think about and children and things like that. I think it’s going to be unique to everybody. For me personally, the WNBA is something that I think it’s a privilege to play on your home soil and something that I really enjoy. It’s the best competition, and I know the compensation isn’t the same as overseas, but it’s still something that is pretty important to me.

“With that being said, it’s hard to play year-round, it really is. I think it catches up to you, and you have to be smart about it, financially speaking and physically speaking. I mean, a lot of people they think playing overseas is the way to go: It’s not as demanding on your body, the money’s more, you get your summer off, that type of ideal. But I know that if there’s a WNBA, I’m going to want to play in it. That’s just me. I bet if you ask me in four years, that might change,” she said, and laughs.

The WNBA will be negotiating a new collective bargaining agreement this off-season. And with a lucrative new TV contract with ESPN, many are expecting that salaries will increase. Salaries for the four-month season start at $32,500 and go up to $93,000 for top players. Those superstars can triple their salaries overseas.

“Women’s basketball players, it’s an interesting situation we’re all in right now,” Bird said. “You have the WNBA, which is the best competition, it’s in America, family and friends can see you play, it’s fun. You have overseas, which is less demanding, but it may not be as good competition. But there’s definitely more compensation, and unfortunately you end up playing year-round because you’re doing those things. You throw in national team stuff in there and you’re really playing year-round. … That’s definitely something to think about. It’s not how much longer do I want to play, it’s how much longer is my body going to let me play. I think that’s something that’s going to start to affect everybody and decisions will probably have to be made. I’m not at that point yet, but we’ll see what happens.”

By Mark La Monica

Here in the Keyboard Quarterbacks' main office (it looks very much like your standard cubicle), we have this technological thing called email. It's this do-hickey that allows people to send people information via a computer and some type of wiring. Perhaps you've heard of it.

Moments ago, one of these "emails" came into our computer from this guy we call the "Watchdog" touting a nice little surprise. It appears that our Mustache Madness contest we ran back in July is getting more attention and acclaim.

The folks at SNY, who so kindly saluted Keith Hernandez's winning mustache on the air way back around the MLB All-Star break are up to their keen marketing tricks again. (Note: Give that link a minute or so to download.)

This email, forwarded from a high-ranking SNY rep, reads as follows:

Given the recent acclaim for Keith's Mustache, we're doing a Keith's Mustache give-away at Shea on Friday, Sept. 14 at the Mets vs. Phillies game. SNY will distribute 25K fake mustaches to fans (poly bagged with the attached card celebrating Keith's mustache). Let me know if questions. Thanks.

Just one question: How did we all cope in this society before Mustache Madness swept the nation?

It came equipped with this nifty bit of stuff called "attachments." They look like this:

We encourage everyone in the greater metropolitan area to go Shea on Friday and celebrate Keith Hernandez's upper lip covering. Tickets start at $17.

In the meantime, relive the excitement of Mustache Madness, the 32-mustache competition to decide the Greatest Mustache in New York Sports History. And don't miss our special photo tribute to Keith's 'stache.

By Mark La Monica

This football, lies and videotape* scandal with the Patriots and Bill Belichick continues to develop. As such, we're dusting off an ancient Keyboard Quarterbacks ritual and applying one sport's ridiculousness to other sports.

It appears royally absurd that a three-time Super Bowl champion coach, recognized as the greatest coach of his era, would be part of this equation: sideline + video recording device + aimed at other team's sideline + wide open for anyone to see + most media-saturated professional sport + most media-saturated city = Caught in the act!

In honor of Billy KGB, here are other ways of cheating that we'd like to see sports people get caught for doing, if for no other reason than it would be really funny to hear and write headlines for:

• BASEBALL: In the sixth inning during warmups, Manny Ramirez sneaks over to the Yankees' bullpen door in left-centerfield at Yankee Stadium and krazy glues it shut so Joba Chamberlain and Mariano Rivera can't get out.

• BASKETBALL: Isiah Thomas installs mini-GPS chips on the magnetic pieces of Gregg Popovich's play diagramming whiteboard so the Knicks can easily defend the Spurs in the last two minutes.

• BOXING: While one corner is shouting instructions to their fighter, a subversive element from the other corner sneaks over and cuts four inches off one of the legs of that fighter's chair, forcing him to sit in an awkward and uncomfortable position in between rounds.

• COLLEGE FOOTBALL: Before the Notre Dame game, Michigan head coach Lloyd Carr brings back DT Alan Branch, CB Leon Hall, DE LaMarr Woodley, LBs David Harris and Prescott Burgess, puts them in current players' jerseys and gives them the dark helmet visors so no one can tell who they are on the field.

• GOLF: Phil Mickelson's caddy, Jim "Bones" Mackay, replaces Tiger Woods' course notebook with a fake notebook that includes the wrong distances and layouts.

• HOCKEY: The equipment manager for the Los Angeles Kings equips his team's sweaters and helmets with squibs and "blood packs" from a nearby Hollywood studio to trick the referee's into calling more penalties on the other team.

• NASCAR: A renegade in Tony Stewart's pit crew sneaks over to Dale Earnhardt's pit and fills his reserve gas tanks with water instead of fuel.

• TENNIS: At the Australian Open in January, Andy Roddick commissions someone to hypnotize Roger Federer into believing that August and September don't exist in 2008, thereby evening the playing field for everyone at the U.S. Open.

By Mark La Monica

What word or phrase would you use to describe the man pictured above?

• Brilliant
• Mediocre
• Cheater
• Phony

P.S. Reports claim NFL confirms Pats were stealing signals

• Kill Bill, Vol. IV
• Kill Bill, Vol. III
• Kill Bill, Vol. II
• Kill Bill, Vol. I

By Mark La Monica

Is it true? Could it be even remotely possible? Is Bell Belichick, the wise, almighty, all-knowing Bill Belichick a lying, cheating scoundrel and not a brilliant football coach?

We don't know the answer yet. However, allegations surfaced Monday that the Patriots were videotaping Jets coaches to steal their defensive signals during the 38-14 season-opening drubbing at the Meadowlands.

It's quite possible that this is all just some idol scuttlebutt or a whole big misunderstanding. It's quite possible that this is all for real.

With the NFL confiscating equipment from the Patriots, at the very least, we can raise some questions. How long has this been going on? Did it happen when Mangini was on staff in New England? Did he tip someone off? Did Belichick know? Is this what makes sixth-round draft pick Tom Brady so perfect a quarterback?

Can we pull out the steroids paintbrush -- you know, the paintbrush that makes us question every player who hits at least two home runs a month -- and craft a Picasso of lies from the Patriots' three Super Bowl rings in the past six years?

That's a bit pre-emptive at the moment, but it does create some intrigue. It also makes you wonder if the Patriots have been doing this for a long time. The Green Bay Packers think so.

Again, this is very early in the reporting stages, so how this plays out is anyone's guess.

Of course, you don't need to be a defensive guru to know that Jets cornerback David Barrett will give any receiver a 9-yard cushion on third-and-8. Nor do you need to have a degree from a fancy-pants college to know that Randy Moss is taller and faster than any Jets defensive back.

But, still. With the NFL investigating this story, as first reported by Jets Confidential (nice work, Dan Leberfeld!), it makes you stop and think for a few minutes. Why would the Patriots need to do it? Clearly, Brady is one of the three elite quarterbacks and is not allowed to lose in the Meadowlands. The dude is 7-0. Is Belichick that concerned with a team whose quarterback can't throw more than 30 yards downfield (and that's provided it's a seam route).

The NFL said Monday that if these allegations are proven true, the Patriots could face fines and the loss of draft picks. Oooooooooooooooooh! Hit them where it hurts, Roger Goodell!

A fine? Uh, Robert Kraft has quite a few bucks to cover that. A loss of a draft pick or two? Aren't the Patriots the best at digging up players from a nearby lumber yard and turning them into All-Pro players?

Seriously, commish. Man up, just like when Pacman Jones was booted for a year and Michael Vick for an indeterminate amount of time. Take the win away from the Patriots. What's right is right.

Otherwise, the NFL is saying it's OK to blatantly break the rules of the sport because what's the worst that can happen, the team pays a fine or loses a draft pick? Taking performance-enhancing drugs is bad because it cheats the players, the opponents and the fans. Those who do it and get caught are suspended for a few games and placed in a league program that includes frequent testing. But overtly videotaping an opponent to get an edge, that's only a monetary punishment? Really? No, really?

Guess what? The fans will pay that fine through increased parking fees and the always-fun personal seat licenses.

• Kill Bill, Vol. III
• Kill Bill, Vol. II
• Kill Bill, Vol. I

By Mark La Monica

Let's review.

In 2006, it was Chiefs vs. Cowboys. In 2005, it was Jets vs. Redskins. In both seasons, I wasn't even close to coming close to predicting the Super Bowl teams.

There's a reason for that. I loathe chalk. Anyone with a keyboard and five minutes of free time can predict the Patriots, Colts, Saints or Bears to reach Super Bowl XLII in Arizona this February.

Anyone with a keyboard and eight minutes of free time can predict the Chargers to reach Super Bowl XLII in Arizona this February.

Here in the Keyboard Quarterbacks home office, we praise bold and brash predictions. So here we go with a bold and brash prediction for Super Bowl XLII:

Willis McGahee, Steve McNair and an always-nasty defense will carry the 12-4 Ravens to the AFC North division title and first-round bye in the playoffs. The Ravens will go into New England and beat the Patriots in the AFC Championship.

An old Brett Favre surrounded by his fountain of youth (Packers are one of the two youngest teams in the NFL) combined with Rex Grossman as quarterback of the Chicago Bears will propel the 11-5 Packers to the NFC North crown and a first-round bye in the playoffs. With home-field advantage in the NFC Championship, Favre will throw three touchdown passes and carry his team to another Super Bowl appearance.

And on that final weekend of the NFL season: Packers 23, Ravens 17.

These are bold, brash and crazy Super Bowl predictions. Will it happen? Likely not. But if it does, meet me in Arizona during Super Bowl week. I'll be the guy signing printed copies of this piece.

By Karen Bailis

I've been practicing my detached media observer poker face for years now. I can remain impassive with the best of them amid tragedies, both human and political.

But it's harder when it comes to women's basketball. Especially when the likes of coaching royalty Pat Summitt and Kay Yow walk into the gym. Add to them two of the best point guards ever to deliver a no-look or slash through the trees to the hoop, Teresa Edwards and Dawn Staley, all in the same old-school gym and -- wow -- it was all I could do not to do anything unprofessional, like swoon like a Southern debutante with the vapors.

Here were four of the five women who made me a basketball fan in the first place. If Cheryl Miller had entered the courts at John Jay College on Saturday as the U.S. women's national basketball team practiced, my career would have ended right there. I'd have leapt up and down on the bleachers and screamed and cried like a teenage girl at a 1964 Beatles concert.

It is the image of Miller, arms raised and fists clenched in gold medal victory wearing her USA jersey and running up the court that is forever seared in my mind from the 1984 Olympics. And until a few months ago that photo, clipped from a newspaper and yellowed with the years, hung on my childhood bedroom door back in Philadelphia until my mom after years of nagging me to do it myself took it down with the clippings of my teenage idols. No, no Duran Duran for me. It was Miller, Evelyn Ashford, Carl Lewis and Mary Decker. But Miller's was the biggest.

In those days, very little women's basketball could be found on TV. We didn't have cable. No ESPN. It was rare to catch a women's game, but my first memory is of Miller at USC, circa 1983. I have no idea who she and the McGee twins were playing, but I was hooked. She had more moves than Doctor J -- and personality. She practically leapt through the screen and grabbed my shoulders and yelped, "You gotta watch this!"

And I did. And then there was my contemporary, Staley, a Philly girl with tiny legs, big hands and a bigger heart who tore up the high school courts and went on to the University of Virginia. The only time she'd be on TV was come tournament time, and it seemed she was almost always losing to Tennessee, playing a spectacular game but falling just a little short. Tennessee was just too good. And who is that crazy woman yelling on the sidelines? I was drawn to Summitt at first like a car wreck. Couldn't stop staring. But then the more I heard and read about her, the more awed I became until I became -- after Dawn graduated from Virginia -- a Tennessee fan.

And then there was Yow, who could be just as fiery as Summitt but with a more quiet dignity. She was Summitt's assistant as coach of the '84 Olympic team. And her NC State team had some classic matchups with ACC rival Virginia -- and Dawn Staley.

I'd really only get to see Edwards every four years -- in five Olympics in which she won four golds and a bronze -- starting in 1984. But, wow, could she shake and bake!

So when I looked around the gym Saturday, as Anne Donovan, another standout from that 1984 gold medal team, coached 10 members of the women's national team with the assistance of Staley as Edwards, Summitt and Yow watched, I couldn't help but wonder: Where IS everyone?

Coming off all the hoops and hype of the latest incarnation of the men's "Dream Team" Olympics qualifying tournament in Las Vegas, here was an exercise in contrasts.

Sure, the best of the best of the women's team either aren't here yet because six of them are still competing in the WNBA Finals (Diana Taurasi, Cappie Pondexter, Swin Cash, Deanna Nolan, Cheryl Ford and Katie Smith) or they aren't coming because of injury (Tamika Catchings, Katie Douglas, Lindsey Harding) or motherhood (Lisa Leslie) or impending marriage (Lindsay Whalen).

Still, there was Staley's heir-apparent, Sue Bird; Alana Beard and Seimone Augustus, who play with Miller-like skills; sharp-shooter Kara Lawson; the ageless Delisha Milton-Jones; young post player Jessica Davenport; and some of the best collegians: Candace Parker, Sylvia Fowles, Courtney Paris and Candice Wiggins.

So, where was the press?

I was there, on my own time, and mused with the only two other newshounds (from the AP and Hartford Courant) there that here we are in the media capital of the world and there are only three of us watching this assembly of basketball greatness. The previous evening, the first day of training camp, there were five of us but only two were from mainstream media organizations (Newsday and the AP).

What gives? Yes, real fans will find a way to get their women's basketball news if they really look for it, and it very likely won't be through the mainstream media. But why not make it easier for them? The Hartford Courant has women's basketball beat writers, so do the Tennessee papers and the Seattle Times, all of them are in areas where women's basketball -- college or pro -- have very loyal followings. Which came first, the following or the media? Unclear.

But it is clear to Yow.

“It’s about media writing about it, helping the public to know what’s going on, to gain interest in it, to know the players,” she said. “Media is everything, really.”

It was to me.

By Karen Bailis

The opening night of training camp Friday for the injury- and WNBA playoffs-depleted women's national basketball team at John Jay College had several teaching moments.

Head coach Anne Donovan folded her 6-foot-8 frame into a crouch to demonstrate a defensive stance. Assistant and Olympics vet Dawn Staley showed national team newcomer Candice Wiggins of Stanford how to be a better guard on the perimeter.

But perhaps the John Jay men's basketball team got the most important lesson of all.

Because only 10 national team members were suited up to play ahead of two games against the Australian team to prepare for an Olympic qualifying tournament in Chile, the men were brought into the fourth-floor gym for some defensive drills. They were enlisted to test the women's help-defense and were eventually told to do anything they could to break down the women's half-court defense and score.

It was physical, with Sacramento Monarchs guard Kara Lawson taking a hard charge and tumbling to the floor. After that, Staley muttered, "Better her than me. ... That's youth right there. I got old and smart, and I'm on the sidelines now."

Still, the men were turned back more times than not. Stuffed by the likes of 6-4 Candace Parker of the University of Tennessee and the Liberty's Jessica Davenport and LSU's Sylvia Fowles, both 6-5.

When the drill was done and the men sat wearily on the bleachers, one nodded toward the women on the court and commented: "I have a whole new perspective on women's basketball."

Class dismissed.

By Mark La Monica

So, I'm new to this whole Virginia Tech football thing and I have a few questions.

First, an explainer for those who are new to this Keyboard Quarterbacks thing: Before the season started, I renounced the Miami Hurricanes as my rooting interest, much the way Michael Corleone renounced the works of Satan in "The Godfather." Only, I didn't push a button on anyone while I did it.

I then asked the readers to pick the team I should root for this season. From the list of seven, they chose Virginia Tech by an overwhelming 67 percent. (Thankfully, they didn't choose Michigan. That could have been a problem.)

Now on to my questions that I hope Hokie Nation can answer for me:

1) Is Sean Glennon that average a quarterback? Or, did he have a subpar game? Or, worse, did he have a superb game?

2) Is there a better nickname in Hokie history than Victor "Macho" Harris?

3) Are Xavier Adibi and Vince Hall as nasty a linebacking tandem as the folks on TV made it appear?

4) Is the Hokies' offensive line always that suspect?

5) When is it acceptable during the LSU game to begin actively cheering for true freshman Tyrod Taylor to take over at quarterback for Glennon?

Hook a new Hokies fella up with some info before kickoff this weekend in Baton Rouge, please. Post a comment or email me at mark.lamonica@newsday.com