The all-too-familiar stage has been set: Colts-Patriots. Peyton Manning-Tom Brady. Playoffs.
Let's face it: Peyton Manning cannot lose on Sunday. If he does, Tom Brady officially owns him.
Some things I could see happening if the Patriots beat the Colts on Sunday:
1. Peyton Manning will retire from the NFL and invest all of his earnings to invent a time machine. His goal will be to travel back to Sept. 30, 2001, the day when a relatively unknown Tom Brady beat him 44-13. Once there, I am convinced he would Tonya Harding on Brady's knees.
2. Tom Brady's new alleged girlfriend, supermodel Gisele Bundchen, will call Peyton Manning ugly and less of a man than Brady and proceed to make out with No. 12 in the locker room, cameras present.
3. MasterCard will revamp its advertising campaign with Peyton Manning. All commercials will feature Tom Brady doing every day tasks, such as getting his loaf of bread signed….by stock boy Peyton Manning.
4. Speaking of advertising, the producers of Sprint's commercials will force Manning to dress up as a Colts fan talking about how much Peyton Manning sucks against Tom Brady. If he doesn't do it, they'll give the deal to Eli.
5. Archie Manning will move to Tahiti and never speak to his two NFL sons again.
6. ESPN's Chris Berman and all of the producers from Sunday NFL Countdown will finally admit what we all know: They have a huge man crush on Tom Brady.
7. Marvin Harrison will speak while shaving what he's trying to pass off as a mustache.
8. Peyton Manning will say in the post-game press conference: "Hey, at least I'm not the Manning that quarterbacks for the Giants."
9. Two words: Ray Finkel.
10. Mike Vanderjagt won't bother making an NFL return. Instead, he'll become an analyst and every weekend call Manning an idiot quarterback who is liquored up all of the time.
The bottom line is this: It's time for Manning to overcome everyone seeing him stuck in mediocrity. This aura of being second best has been with him since his days at Tennessee. He finished with an amazing 26-4 SEC record as Tennessee's quarterback, but he was 0-3 against the Gators.
One of the all-time smack talkers, Steve Spurrier, even said it when he was coach at Florida: "I know why Peyton returned for his senior year, he wanted to be a three-time Citrus Bowl MVP."
If Manning does goes on to win this game, he's out of the doghouse for a while. Even if the Colts win this weekend and lose in the Super Bowl he can still say he beat Tom Brady and won't have to wait behind the restaurant for Brady to throw him his apron.
And all above situations will be avoided (although I would like to see Harrison shave that 'stache).
Comments (5)
There are 2 things that can and probably will happen in Sunday's Game:
1. The Pats win....that's the easy one.
2. The Colts win and it actually has really nothing to do Manning/Brady...it has to do with Vinatieri and him nailing a 45 yarder as time expires for a 2 point Colt win. After the kick he stares at the the Patriots bench while Manning holds a sign behind him that reads..."I'm the reason you fools...Not Brady."
This is the dumbest article I have ever read, maybe you need to admit you have a man crush on the guy. Peyton is the best ever to play the position shut up.
OR option 11: Tom Brady appears on Orah and finally proclaims that he is, indeed a homosexual.
this is absolutely ridculous peyton could beat brady anytime.
does anyone ever think about the rest of the teams?
the colts are better!
man, come on we all know peyton is better so just leave it at that.