Keyboard Quarterbacks

By Mark La Monica

Bored on a Sunday night, I brought the laptop to the couch and hoped for continued wireless access to the Internet so I could put my random thoughts from this NFL Sunday where they belong: on the Web, in this blog.

Clearly, since you're reading this, the wireless access worked. Here goes with some thoughts on Week 11.

* How is that the Colts, the worst run defense in the NFL with 159.3 yards allowed, have a good day stopping the run against Dallas (117 yards) and still lose their first game of the season? Jim Sorgi was not quarterbacking the Colts at any point, so there goes that thought. Any other ideas?

* I'm not the best writer in the world, but if I were as bad at my job as Matt Millen is at his for as long, I'd fire myself before the next paragraph.

* Even if Millen, the Lions' GM, shaved his mustache, I'm fairly certain he'd still be very bad at his job. Sometimes, it's not just about the mustache.

* I respect Eric Mangini's coaching cajones, but an onside kick to start the second half against Chicago is just not wise. Despite leading the NFL in points per game with 33.7 coming into Sunday, the Bears remarkably have no ability to score points on offense. Why give them the ball in your own territory to start the second half? Plus, isn't that one of the more obvious times to expect an onside kick?

* Reggie Wayne is a very good receiver. So is Steve Smith, Terrell Owens and Marvin Harrison. But "Ocho Cinco" is Numero Uno.

* It took 11 weeks, but I'm starting to believe in NBC's "Football Night in America" as a viable replacement for ESPN's "NFL Primetime" when it comes to Sunday night highlight shows.

* Cris Collinsworth is one reason to watch "FNIA." When NBC did the Bengals-Saints highlights, they showed a fan holding up a dollar bill with Chad Johnson's face in place of George Washington. "In Chad We Trust," Jerome Bettis said. "Shouldn't that be a peso or something?" Collinsworth said. That's funny.

* I'm not a big Jessica Simpson fan, but after a few weeks of seeing those legs of hers on that DirecTV commercial, let's raise a glass and salute corporate sponsorship of the NFL.

* No surprise: The Raiders gave up a touchdown with less than two minutes left to give up the lead. Even less of a surprise: The Raiders had a chance to win it at the end and threw an interception in the end zone.

* Raiders, Cardinals, Lions. They don't even deserve a chance to get the No. 1 pick. That's how bad they are.

* Tony Romo is the 2006 version of Willie Beamen. When do the MetRx commercials hit the airwaves?

* LaDainain Tomlinson is the best player in the NFL. If I were of the mindset to support fantasy football, I would suggest that he be the No. 1 pick in every league next season. But, alas, I'm not of the mindset to support fantasy football, so I can't suggest it. But if I were . . . .

* There are a lot more teams in the mix for the second wild card spot after this week than Jets fans would like. The Bengals and Steelers winning didn't help the cause. Of course, it's still a complete longshot that the Jets could snag that spot, but still. Too many teams to be keeping track of as Jets fans prepare for Week 12.

* Eagles fans are crying in their cheese whiz down at Pat's about Donovan McNabb's torn ACL. D-Nabb doesn't deserve that. But Eagles fans do. They're awful.

* Through 11 weeks, my crazy Super Bowl XLI prediction of Chiefs vs. Cowboys still has a chance. Impressive. Well, at least it's better than last year's lunatic proposal of Jets vs. Redskins.