By Mark La Monica
Start dancing, Yankee fans. The boys just swept the hell out of those pesky Boston Red Sox.
There are things you know you want to say to those obnoxious, annoying Red Sox fans in your office but you're afraid to because you have to work with these people and you fear repercussions down the line. Understandable. I'm here to help. Just print these out and send it via interoffice mail so they can't figure out who it is.
"Ortiz really had an MVP performance this weekend."
"Youkilis hitting behind Manny is the worst protection I've seen since Pagliarulo hit behind Balboni in 1989."
"Hey, Red Sox Nation, you've got a top-notch bullpen up there!"
"And Carl Pavano isn't even off the disabled list yet!"
"Big Papi gets big hits."
"Boy that Coco Crisp is one heck of a player. And a much better value than Johnny "10-for-23, 8 RBIs" Damon. Good call."
"I'll have to double-check the box scores, but I'm fairly certain I saw Alex Rodriguez deliver a few key hits in important spots."
"You know, it's funny [insert name of Sox fan you about to mock], but I was somewhat perturbed when the Yanks passed on drafting Craig Hansen last year. I mean, he was a Long Island kid who played college ball at St. John's. Now, not so much."
"The way your Sox played this week, I'm wondering if Dan Duquette is still in charge up there."
"Did the Patriots' season start yet?"
"Keep an eye on that pesky AL Central. They could snatch that wild card right out from under you."
"Dude, Kyle Farnsworth got the save. Kyle Farnsworth! It hurts, doesn't it?"
"We pants'd Wade Boggs!"
Comments (50)
Losing 5 in a row in August at home is bad almost as bad as losing 4 straight in the 2004 ALCS. Almost as bad...not quite as bad as the biggest choke job in professional sports history but close.
Yankees fans let me just say once again thanks 4 (IN A ROW) the memories.
A proud member of the nation.
You can enjoy your memories, Dan, and we Yankee fans will enjoy our team actually playing baseball this October. I hope they are warm and fuzzy.
Boston Dan: We live in the present. Now OPEN WIDE... Good Boy!
haha Boston Dan, I am sure that World Series in 2004 is really making you feel better now. You see, if you could survive on past championships alone, we Yankees fans would be set forever. But I believe the present counts for something.
Way to pack in the season mid-august! Go Yanks!
Funny that a Red Sox fan would willingly bring up the past like that.
If you feel like you want to talk about the '04 ALCS, I think we should feel free to talk about every year from 1918-2004.
I dare you to compete with our history, Boston Dan. You'd still have a better shot than competing with the present. You guys are toast.
ATTENTION RED SOX "NATION"
Remember that you guys can't hold a candle to the Yankees. How does 26 World Championships, and 39 American League Pennants sound to your ears? It is funny, but I don't think the Red Sox can say that. Just a thought.
This 5 game set is just a warm up for the mid-september match up. As for post season, yeah I don't think RED SOX Nation even has a chance anymore. I think the other Sox team will make sure of that.
Good luck with your off season.
OH and PS. Jeter for MVP!
I hope Boston Dan is young so that he will have a long fruitful life holding on to those 2004 memories in 2054, since they will be all he'll have.
Red Sox Nation: Hope you're all enjoying Year Two of the next 86-year drought!
OMG Boston got owned so bad this weekend... The Yankees went up 6.5 games after Boston lost 5 games in 4 days at HOME!!!... That is so bad... I hope that Boston has fun TRYING to get back into the WILDCARD race!!!! I don't think that the week Boston Red SUX are going to be able to make it back in the WILDCARD race because they suck to bad!!! After you lose 5 games in a row you just can't bouce back from that!!! It's just going to go downhill from here Boston fans. You should give up now...
Ah, be nice to Boston Dan...they only enjoy 1 World Championship every 86 years...its the only 1 he can talk about. Flash Forward to 2050's...where the Yankees beat the Red Sox 6 games in a row and he'll say "back in 2004 I remember..." HAHAHAHA! Damn, 5 games in a row at Fenway....priceless.
Ahh bronx fans, I remember when the only reason one traveled to the bronx was to get a hooker or score some crack. Let me guess you are a NY goomba w/ an Italian horn around your neck, you own all the Sopranos on dvd and sit down w/ the fam for sunday dinner, you wear a sweat suit but don't work out and grease your hair cause you actually believe you are growing up gotti. The sox are down but not out. It's not over yet and I am not a front runner i'm in for the long hall. Pop quiz cheebo why don't sea gulls fly over NY, because no one lives there worth Sh*t*ng on!
hey boston dan, make some more comments like that and i'll think your john rocker ya f*ckhead...no, i'm from syracuse, @sshole.
Um, hey Dan -- "Biggest choke job in professional sports history"? You sure you want to bring that up here, Mr. Bill Buckner??
quick question Boston Dan... for someone who thinks so little of NYers, what the hell are you doing reading a blog in a NY paper, jackass??
Hey Boston Dan..Know why Boston won't win for another 86 years? And didn't a previous 86?...because God doesn't like racists...and from Dan's comments about Sopranos and Bronx crack it's clear Red Sox Nation is a euphemism for Racist Nation, alway has been, always will be. God is a Yankee fan. Why else 26 World Championships? Idiots like Dan actually think 26 to 1 is a rivalry...which mean he has the IQ and moral ethics of those lovable Southies in "Mystic River". It must really gall him that the Nation depends on 2 Afro-Latinos, Ortiz and Ramirez, for all its runs instead of a home grown white Boston Southie. But oh yeah...they only know how to crush skulls with baseball bats not baseballs.
Hey Yankmee fan,
Aren't you 0 for this mellenium? I'll help you out, YES!!! do you honestly think the Boston Red Sox are Going to shrivile up and die because they lost 5 in a row in freaking august! Like I said august not september and deffinetly not october (thats reserved for your beloved Yankmees).
I may loss a lil sleep over these losses in the comming days but guess what? Boston is still playing baseball, they have a shot, this isn't the playoffs where you're sweep,loss four in a row and your done (2004 ring a bell?).
So I'll wear my Red Sox uni, drink my Sam Adams, and chant "youk" until the door is closed on my 2006 Red Soxs. A 5 game sweep is a bitter pill to swallow but the coffin isn't shut and We're not going away! Hold on tight Yankmees it's gonna be a fight!
Who are all these red sux fans reading ny paper blogs? You guys dont have a boston newspaper to read! o wait... there's probably only bad things written about your silly ass team. I agree its def. not over but lets put it this way. BOSTON will not, I REPEAT, not make the playoffs w/ Beckett & Lester & any other scrub pitcher they are planning to throw out there... Why are we reflecting on '04? Should yankee fans reflect on '03, '02 or any of the other times the yankees have broken the red sux's heart!! Yankee fans are always gonna have the edge on the red sux! let's start at 26-1!!! Try making up those 25 championships than come & defend your damn team!!!They call us the evil empire but I think the angels are singin a bronx cheer for us right now cuz god's a true YANKEE FAN!!! BOSTON Massacre III is only a month away. Get ready SUX! We're gonna slam the coffin shut on this team & move on to october. Hey Haywood start rootin for the METS cuz your team's not gonna be in the playoffs this year. Shows the character of a true Red Sux fan. Always lookin at another team for backup.
Hey Epstein, (reminds one of the moron on 'Welcome Back Kotter') thanks for letting Cash pick up Abreu and Lidle. You really are a boy wonder aren't you? Thanks for dissing Damon too; he sure didn't do much this weekend did he( AL Player of the Week)? By the way Epstein, it looked like the AL Player of the Week could have been either Giambi, Abreu, Cano, Jeter, Cabrera or even Proctor.
First the NYY were called the Evil Empire and now you called them the UberTeam. You can also say that UberTeam is still in first place. Can your scrubs make it to the playoffs with that bullpen? How's Javy Lopez working out for you?
Enjoy the rest of the season, because we surely will.
Sincerely,
A NYY UberTeam Fan--26 Rings (Six in my lifetime) and counting.
P.S. Thanks for this weekend at Theo's Sweep; your inaction at the trade deadline sure helped!!! Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!
Dan..in 2024 you too can have a anniversary night at fenway celebrating your championship like the mutts did. Yankee fans will be celebrating our 44th. GO YANKS!!
I don't think our subs can do what the Yankee subs (Cabrera, Bernie, Cairo, Crosby, Wilson, Lidle, Phillips) have done. We give up
cmon u guys lets all get along like rodney kings this is manny ramirez n i have the iq of a 10 year which is also my sexual target ok bye
go red sox nATion
Come on guys let's play nice, try to see the beauty in both sides Ynakees and Sox fans hold hands and say you love each other.
Dan,
Funny you should talk about New York Stereotypes... How about the DUMB MASSHOLES, living in the great State of MASSIVE-TWO-SH*TS!!! There you talk with funny accents (more funnier than New York) and zip around your SH*TTY City in your Jetta's thinking you are in a BMW. Oh, and how about your bridge and tunnel building...First Rate...Takes twice as long, Cost ten times as much, and you get a third of the result... Maybe you should have scrapped the Big Dig and invested in your team...
It's true the red sox were swept in a huge series and the yankees did blow the biggest post season lead 3-0 in the ALCS.
This name calling is ridiculous, lay off each other Mantle was a drunk, The Straw had one up his nose, I goota run almost late for my flight w/ Munson!
LOVE THAT DIRTY WATER!
I'm from NY and I think we should take these Boston fans and have em sleep w/ the fishes. Back in the old country we'd give these guys a beatin' I can't talk right now I need to gas up my IROC and head to the jersey shore for some cheese balls.
-Johnny Bag A Doughnuts
Wow there are a lot of SOX fans posting here and this is a paper in the heart of NY? Typically fair weather Yankee fans. Let me guess I've been a Yanks fan since 96! I also liked the 49ers then the Cowboys.
Pathetic thank god they are gonna blow up the house that ruth built, let's make sure it's a sell out when they flip the switch.
LET'S GO RED SOX!
LET'S GO RED SOX!
LET'S GO RED SOX!
LET'S GO RED SOX!
LET'S GO RED SOX!
I love the Yankees I especially like Jeter and his choice in women....skanks for the memories Derek
Love Nick Lachey
I usually don't do anything w/ out Jeter giving me the green light. But hear it goes...You memebrs of the nation are meenies!
E-ROD
Oh, You must be meeting up with Len Bias!!! Say Hello for me... Speaking of Dirty Water, How about the Charles... There is some top quality water...
Yeah and Cape Cod is crawling with sophisticated people as well...
DOWN 3-0 AND NO HOME FIELD ADVANTAGE?
The Red Sox could never come back from that? Could they? Well they could never come back down this many games in August? Could they?
Believe Nation BELIEVE!!!!
I still don't understand how 04' was a choke. Yankees took 3 games in a row (game 3 by a LARGE margin), and then lost 3 classic games in a row that could have gone either way. Game 7 we had to throw Vazquez and Brown out there- 2 of the worst Yankee pitchers of the last 10 years and so we got killed. Explain how that is a choke? Is every time you lose considered choking? We got beat- there's a difference. Just like the Sox got beat this weekend. You chowda'heads are pathetic.
All Yankees fans are not New York or Jersey Goombas that are fat greese balls who have their mothers cook and clean for them even when they are weel into their 30s.
Sincerly,
Artie Lange
Not a choke? 4 games to win 1 w/ home field advantage. The "best postseason closer" Riveria on the mond all the history and alure that comes w/ Yankee stadium and you can honestly say that we didn't blow the 2004 ALCS. I love the Bronx Bombers but we should have been able to win one of those games.
As a Yankees fan we did joke in 2004!
RED SUX FANS PLEASE GET YOUR OWN PAPER FOR BLOGS!! ITS REALLY SAD THAT YOU GUYS FEEL SO LEFT OUT THAT YOU HAVE TO WRITE BLOGS IN A NY PAPER! IM FIGURING WE JUST HAVE THAT EDGE OVER YOU IN EVERY CATEGORY! TEAM TO MEDIA TO JUST THE MERE FACT THAT YOU JUST SUCK!! THANKS FOR THE TIME SUX FANS!!!WE WILL NOT SEE YOU IN OCTOBER! IT'LL BE BETTER FOR YOUR OWN SAKE.
PEACE OUT DEAD SOX!!!!
The Yanks did not choke in 04'. They got beat, plain and simple. I suppose they are supposed to win every game every year and when they don't they "suck" or "choked". Anyway who cares, that's history. Go Yanks!
well said but go Red Sox.
Love the rivalry
Look I believe in the players I know that guys like Loretta, Lowell, and Papi are putting it on the line every night. I Balme the sorry state that the 2006 Red Sox have fallen into Theo and the owners! We as Red Sox Fans Pay the highest ticket prices in the Majors, the consecions are through the roof, and the Park has been totally Pimped out (she has been slap with Ads from stem to sturn). To have Theo and the crew do nothing improve the Pitching and Offense (Every one seems to forget that we haven't been score runs all year) is a slap in the face. Hell it was Kanas City Like the way they have pocketed the cash this year and last at the trading Dead line.
Think how much better they could have been with Abreu in right and Andrew Jones in center? All it would have cost Them was that suck a$$ John (I can throw strikes or get past 5 innings) Lester freakin Craig Hansen and Coco Crisp to get Jones. All we would have to do was take on a lil cash to get Abreu, and what did they do? Give up on the fans and this team, you think it is a matter of coincidence That this team hit the skids after they knew no help was on the way? How do you think Loretta feels? This probably his one and only shot at a championship!
Come on nation it's time to drop and ABOMB ON THEO for screwing us and this team. Keep linning those pockets brain thrust, because we sheep in the nation will keep suppling filler for it!
Its true that the Yankess got beat in the 2004 ALCS. But they never chocked. But again, I want to remind the RED SUX NATION of what they don't have. 26 World Championships, and 39 American League Pennants. One ring in 2004 doesn't even hold water. Oh and whats this I hear, they couldn't go back and repeat in 2005? Wow!
If you DEAD SUX NATION people think that the 2004 ALCS was a choke, then what was this weekend for your idiots? They didn't just choke, they DIED!
And for you Jeter haters, all I can say is JETER FOR MVP.
GO YANKS!
Meet the Mets, greet the mets.....
Guess what LD? Yhe Red Sox didn't die they still have 30 Plus games to play. I wouldn't call that dead you over dramatic fool!
No the Yankmees where dead in 2004 because the Sox ended the Yankmees season. Red Sox are playing they Angels tonight.last time I check They still have life, granted there on life support they are still alive! GO SOXS!!!!!!!!!1
Ah yes, it's that same ole song outta the Fenway Faithless:
"SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET CAROLINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! WAH WAH WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! MUSIC TO MY EARS!
EAT IT BEANTOWN! 5-0 SWEEP IN YOUR OWN HOUSE, PAYBACK FOR 04, OWNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"YOU GOT KNOCKED THE F OUT!" Chris Tucker
To the theme of YMCA
Why Are You Gay?
Cause you like sucking C*CK!
Five game beat down in your own yard. That's gotta hurt. Nice job, Boston. Way to step up in the clutch. You can bring up 04 all you want, and Yankee fans will counter with more bad Boston memories against the Yankees than you care to admit. Aaron Boone, Bucky Dent, the 78 Boston Massacre, 26 Big Ones.... You'll always be the Red Headed Step Child to NY.
Hey? That was mean!
cmon guys our NATION is not mean to the yankees ok. hahaha except when they suck my d!ck. hahaha cmon guys tell em how they suck my d!ck. they do haha
Not only am I a huge yankee fan, but a HUGE MARK La MONICA fan!!! WHEW. I just cant get enough of this guy. His writing style is pristine. ANYONE ELSE?
MarkLaMonica fan in Huntington.
Not only am I a huge yankee fan, but a HUGE MARK La MONICA fan!!! WHEW. I just cant get enough of this guy. His writing style is pristine. ANYONE ELSE?
MarkLaMonica fan in Huntington.
Face it Sox Sux- The Johnny Damon Curse Lives!