Keyboard Quarterbacks

By Adam Abramson

Driving into work on Thursday, I heard about A-Rod’s day in the Yankees' 6-4 rubber-game win over Detroit: 3-4, two runs, two RBIs and a home run. Not a bad day at the ballpark. However, Rodriguez filled two lines of the stat sheet that won’t appear on the page: one plate appearance littered with boos and one plate appearance that ended with a curtain call.

As an outsider, I don’t get the A-Rod barrage of insults. I’m not from New York, so maybe that’s the problem. But it has gotten out of hand.

The guy won an MVP award last year and fans have been throwing him under the bus driven by Carl Pavano. I’ve been to Yankee Stadium six or seven times this summer and each time I wished I had a bullhorn so I could yell "IT’LL GET BETTER, ALEX."

It wasn’t long ago that I was part of a fan base with a golden child like Alex Rodriguez. My senior year at Virginia Tech was filled with hopes of the school’s first national championship with Marcus Vick at quarterback. My beloved Hokies jumped out to an 8-0 start and boasted a No. 3 national ranking. The fate of Tech rested on the shoulders of one of the top passers in the country.

When the mighty Miami Hurricanes came to town on Nov. 5, 2005, our prodigal son turned the ball over six times (four fumbles, two picks) in a 27-7 loss. Sure, we were all enraged as passionate fans and many were quick to place the blame on Marcus, but in the coming days we rallied around our quarterback and team knowing much more football was left to be played.

Vick ended up leading Tech to an 11-2 mark and a Gator Bowl victory, which was some solace for a season gone awry.

This is what I don’t understand. The Yanks’ season hasn’t gone awry and everyone is up in arms over a slump. If the entire Tech community had turned its back on Vick after his ... mishap… a berth to the Klondike Bowl in Vancouver could have been very possible.

Considering we’re not talking about peewee leagues, it’s safe to say sports are about winning, not having fun. And because it’s about winning, you need to keep in mind there’s plenty of baseball left to be won.

I guess I am just in awe at the fickleness of so many Yankee fans who are jumping all over a .280 hitter with 27 home runs and 96 RBIs. I know what you’re thinking, "His home runs come at meaningless points in ball games." Do all 96 of his RBIs (which rank in the Top 10 of the AL, by the way)?

The guy is a vital part of the lineup when he’s not slumping and the unnecessary pressure put on him every time a fastball is coming his way or a ground ball is hit to him isn’t helping. I heard someone on TV the other day say "A-Rod has always motivated himself by the fear of failure."

I’ve thought about that a lot lately, and I truly believe it. It’s almost the same thing that fueled the younger Vick. I always believed what motivated him in Blacksburg was the fear that he wouldn’t live up to his brother, Michael.

If A-Rod is a normal human being, like I think he is, the curtain call he took after his home run on Thursday didn’t mean much to him. The cheers from the Yankee faithful don’t mean anything now because the steady stream of intense criticism resonates inside of him, just like it would with any of you.

You better hope that tune isn’t ringing in his ears come October when the Yankees really need him.

The bottom line is this: your open season of insults at A-Rod don’t help the situation. In the three months I’ve lived in New York I have seen that sports fans here are among the best in the world. I understand that much of the anger people carry comes from the passion that makes them such great fans, but sometimes people need to fill the proverbial chip on the shoulder with some humility because it’s actually better off that way.

Then again, maybe you don’t and that’s the problem. Maybe it’s just a New York thing and I don’t understand. At least you still have hopes for a championship.

By Mike Casey

Some observations from my day at the U.S. Open:

*What percentage of U.S. Open fans do you think actually know all the rules of tennis? 50 percent? 60? My guess is 60 percent.

*Where else can you pay $18.50 for a corned beef sandwich and $7.50 for a plate of nachos, and still go home feeling satisfied? (Put your hands down, Yankees fans.)

*Where else can you pay $13 to park two miles from the stadium and still go home feeling satisfied? (Put your hands down, Mets fans.)

*Sometimes I wonder whether it was a good idea to take the top bowl off of Louis Armstrong Stadium. One of the best matches of the day (Martina Hingis vs. Shuai Peng) was played on that court, but within minutes of start of the match, the stadium was filled to capacity. A long line of fans gathered outside, but eventually were shooed away by a public address announcement.

*Tennis instant replay is awesome. How awesome? Fans actually root for players to challenge calls. The chair umpire makes an announcement, and everyone looks up to the big screen to watch the digitally reproduced replay. You can actually hear everyone  holding their breath. If the ball is in, the crowd goes nuts. You've gotta love impromptu moments of drama.

*Instant replay moment of the night: On a close 'in' call along the baseline, Andy Roddick asked nearby fans for "a little help." The fans gave him the right advice, because the ball was clearly in, and he didn't challenge.  If players are going to rely on fans for help with decisions on challenges, I hope tennis fans are a little smarter than the football fans who yell "GO FOR IT!" on every 4th and 1.

*The crowd for the night session at Arthur Ashe Stadium certainly was a late-arriving bunch. When Maria Sharapova's 7:30 p.m. match against Michaella Krajicek began, only 1/4 of the stadium was filled. Maybe it had something to do with that terrific parking situation.

*Maria Sharapova served her way into the ongoing fashion show that is ladies' tennis, wearing a sparkly black tennis dress and carrying a matching black tennis bag onto the court. 

*Best interview comment of the day? "No comment," from Maria Sharapova, who was asked whether she would stay to watch Andy Roddick's match after she defeated Krajicek, 6-3, 6-0.

*Funniest moment of the day? The winners of the "Continental Seat Upgrade contest," who stood up to reveal they were sitting on Delta seat cushions.

*Second funniest moment of the day? The chair umpire in the Sharapova-Krajicek match nearly getting clocked with an errant shot.

*I still think it's crazy that opponents warm up against each other before the match. Maybe this is bad tennis etiquette, but I would definitely try to psych my opponent out with some wicked shots, or maybe pretend a certain part of my game is weaker than it is. Then again, I don't play tennis, and now you all know why.

*Question: If you were Michaella Krajicek, would you elect to serve first against Sharapova? Answer: No, because you know you're going to get broken and start the match in a big hole. I'd try to break the better player's serve first and put some pressure on. But again, I don't play tennis, and maybe this is why.

*Happy Birthday to Andy Roddick, who will never forget his birthday as long as he plays tennis. He can thank the hundreds of teenage girls in the crowd who kept yelling "Happy Birthday, Andy!" Ahhh, to be a tennis star.

By Mark La Monica

Put Carl Pavano in the game tonight. And tomorrow night. And the night after that. And the night after that. And, just for fun, the night after that.

Wouldn't you just love to have the Boss hand down that edict to Joe Torre? Better yet, wouldn't it be great if Torre just did it on his own?

It's painfully obvious to fans -- more painful than his strained ear lobe or whatever lame yang he's using this week -- that the wimp has no desire to ever pitch in pinstripes again.

Torre and his braintrust should just put Pavano in the bullpen and make him pitch every night.  Why not, that's what they do with Scott Proctor and Ron Villone (and Paul Quantrill, Mike Stanton and Jeff Nelson in years past).

But this would be malicious and it's time to act. Who cares if he blows out his shoulder and never pitches again? He's not going to pitch for the Yankees again anyway, so why not at least get a few $3 million innings from the wimp.

Seriously, I haven't seen a chump this bad since Jesse "The Body" Ventura used to call Hulk Hogan "The Chump" instead of "The Champ" in the mid-1980s.

Yankee fans would be so excited to hammer Pavano when he's on the mound that they wouldn't even care if the team lost all those games. Just more fodder for the bloodthirsty maniacs in the Bronx.

And, just an aside, fans may start to cheer A-Rod again just because he's not Carl Pavano.

By Mark La Monica

Start dancing, Yankee fans. The boys just swept the hell out of those pesky Boston Red Sox.

There are things you know you want to say to those obnoxious, annoying Red Sox fans in your office but you're afraid to because you have to work with these people and you fear repercussions down the line. Understandable. I'm here to help. Just print these out and send it via interoffice mail so they can't figure out who it is.

"Ortiz really had an MVP performance this weekend."

"Youkilis hitting behind Manny is the worst protection I've seen since Pagliarulo hit behind Balboni in 1989."

"Hey, Red Sox Nation, you've got a top-notch bullpen up there!"

"And Carl Pavano isn't even off the disabled list yet!"

"Big Papi gets big hits."

"Boy that Coco Crisp is one heck of a player. And a much better value than Johnny "10-for-23, 8 RBIs" Damon. Good call."

"I'll have to double-check the box scores, but I'm fairly certain I saw Alex Rodriguez deliver a few key hits in important spots."

"You know, it's funny [insert name of Sox fan you about to mock], but I was somewhat perturbed when the Yanks passed on drafting Craig Hansen last year. I mean, he was a Long Island kid who played college ball at St. John's. Now, not so much."

"The way your Sox played this week, I'm wondering if Dan Duquette is still in charge up there."

"Did the Patriots' season start yet?"

"Keep an eye on that pesky AL Central. They could snatch that wild card right out from under you."

"Dude, Kyle Farnsworth got the save. Kyle Farnsworth! It hurts, doesn't it?"

"We pants'd Wade Boggs!"

By Mark La Monica

Vendors tossing bags of peanuts and crackerjacks into the stands and not asking for money in return. Bob Sheppard being heard and not seen. Robert Merrill singing the national anthem (previously recorded, of course).

Hey, maybe this new Yankee Stadium thing won't be so upsetting after all.

But as Gov. George Pataki, Mayor Mike Bloomberg and 1,134 other local politicians recounted their favorite tales of going to Yankee Stadium -- the one they still play in on 161 Street and River Avenue -- today at the ground breaking for the new stadium -- the one they'll begin play in 2009 in Macombs Dam Park -- the accoutrements of a sunny summer morning lost their appeal.

Is this really such a good thing for Yankee fans? Are we so willing to throw away the Stadium we've all come to love for the moments it has provides us in our lives. If you look closely, Joe Girardi's triple off Greg Maddux in Game 6 of the 1996 World Series is still rolling around out there in right-centerfield.

When George Steinbrenner first yanked up a few inches of ceremonial dirt with his shiny new shovel, I saw myself sitting in Row W of the upper deck on Don Mattingly Day.

When Steinbrenner and the rest of the photo op-crazed politicians lifted a second scoop of dirt, I recalled sitting two boxes to the left of Rudy Giuliani when Tim Raines, Derek Jeter and Paul O'Neill went back-to-back-to-back in Game 1 of the 1997 ALDS against Cleveland. I still remember the shirt I wore that night.

That third scoop hurt as I clearly viewed a Mark La Monica frozen on the Diamond Vision screen on his 11th birthday. I remember that shirt, too. (Aqua blue golf shirt and white pants. Hey, we were all dorks at that age.)

And the fourth hoisting of dirt in the air? That was seven playings of "New York, New York" before leaving my seat after the Game 5 win over Oakland in the 2001 ALDS. Restaurant friend Rob and Consultant friend Jay can testify to that. Artist-in-Italy friend Jenny still talks about the voicemail I left her that night.

Change and progress are inevitable in this world. They bring the promise of a better tomorrow and hope for the future and all those catch phrases politicians love to throw around when a podium is put in front of them and they know the media is listening and taking pictures.

Embracing change is a good thing. Just not this time.

I love Yankee Stadium just the way it is. From the lack of luxury boxes to the lack of modern amenities. It's called "character." Thse little quirks that make a place feel like home. It's like that old barbecue in the backyard that only Dad knows how to light. You don't question why it's like that, you only know that is and you accept it and revel in it.

I don't need wide-open concourses so I can watch every pitch live while trying to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. Part of the fun of going to a game is trying to guess which top half of an inning will be uneventful enough to miss live in pursuit of ballpark fare.  Besides, the TVs at the concession stands are just fine.

I don't need a Yankee Hall of Fame and Museum in addition to Monument Park. Just seeing Donnie Baseball's retired number on the wall in left field is enough for me.

I want to sit awkwardly just to feel comfortable in the hard plastic seats from 30 years ago. Leg room? Ha! That just gets us farther away from the field.

No doubt, this new Yankee Stadium will be a beautiful place, a new "American monument" as MLB Commissioner Bud Selig said at today's ground breaking. But it's going to be really, really weird. And it won't feel like home for a long time.

And if the Yankees somehow reconcile with themselves to sell naming rights to the new stadium, good luck enjoying a night at "Netflix presents Yankee Stadium Part III with Special Features."

It's not about the money (Ha, that's funny!) associated with a new stadium. Those who complain about increased ticket and concession prices are just whining for the sake of whining. If you really want to go to the game, you'll save some money or pinch elsewhere and go.

I'll be more than happy to pay the increased prices in 2009. I just prefer it to be at the old Yankee Stadium.

By Mark La Monica

On roughly 12 minutes of sleep last night/this morning, I made my way to the site of the new Yankee Stadium for a two-hour love affair with the Bronx sponsored by every politician who knows the borough's name doesn't end with "ks."

Some thoughts went through my head as I watched the world's greatest dog & pony show. These are those thoughts:

- Sixty people on one dais? That's not a dais, that's a congressional hearing.

- It took more than six minutes to introduce everyone on the dais? It took more than six minutes to introduce everyone on the dais! Old-school rapper Doug E. Fresh got just six minutes and he's the human beatbox, the entertainer.

- What are actor Billy Crystal, former NYC mayor David Dinkins and three dudes from Hess doing on the dais? What's next: "Ladies and gentleman, we proudly welcome home Yankee great Wayne Tolleson!"?

- Gotta love "Freddie Sez" getting a nice front-row seat with other VIPs and invited guests in the bleacher section to the right of the stage. His sign, by the way, read:

N.Y. YANKEES
FUTURE HOME
GOOD LUCK

- What's this? The ceremony is starting late because Gov. Pataki was delayed. Oh, please don't let me hear some bad baseball metaphor to explain his late movement in getting to Macombs Dam Park.

- How many people are going to speak at this thing? Oh, goodie, the program says 19.

- Dear Lord, please make sure John Sterling isn't one of those 19.

- Dear Lord, you must still be mad at me.

- First politico to bash the Red Sox? Late-arriver and outgoing governor George Pataki.

- There were 35 uses of the word "great" and its grammatical cousins during the various speeches. Surprisingly low considering the timeframe and the number of speakers.

- And 22 gratuitious in-speech "Please clap for me" rounds of applause. Only one was worthy: When some politician referenced Bernie Williams.

- I wish I had another notebook handy to keep track of all the "new chapters" and "future."

- I wish I had another notebook handy to keep track of all the incorrect grammar spoken by these elected officials.

- All this pomp and all this circumstance and you can't trot out one current Yankee player or manager or coach? That's poor.

- Surely, a few former players could have been on hand to join Yogi Berra. Not even special assistant to whatever, Reggie Jackson? He could have stirred a few drinks out there today.

- Where's Rudy Giuliani?

By Mark La Monica

And you thought this poker craze had reached the saturation point, what with seemingly every possible television station airing some sort of Texas Hold'em show?

Guess again.

Try standing eight-deep in horseshoe formation some 30 feet away from the final table at a World Series of Poker event just to watch Phil Hellmuth win his 10th bracelet.  Mind you, you can't see his cards, or anyone else's, because the lipstick camera is for television purposes only. (It's also the biggest reason the poker phenomenon has exploded like the Fourth of July in Fort Pedro, S.C.) This takes away half the fun of watching poker be played by other people.

You can also not hear any of the snide comments Hellmuth is famous for, which takes away the other half of the fun of watching poker be played by other people.

But there I was, for a few minutes anyway, inside the convention center at the Rio Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas last week. Staring. Wondering what cards he had. Wondering what cards the other players had. Wondering why the hell I even cared.

After two minutes of paralyzed staring, I came to my senses and left. I walked around, curious to understand the world I had just stepped into.

The WSOP, whether it's the Main Event or just some Seven-Card Stud Hi-Lo or Razz or Omaha or whatever, is huge. The fields for these events have more than doubled in recent years. ESPN's coverage and regular people such as Chris Moneymaker and Greg "Fossilman" Raymer winning the Main Event helped sell the game to the masses.

It's made television stars out of professional poker players. Men, and a few women, who were once known in a small circle of colleagues, can't survive a break from a tournament without autograph requests and general "How ya doin?s" and "What's up, guy?s" from random people.

Proximity creates a more intimate relationship with the fan than other events. It parallels golf and tennis, where the professionals often walk among and easily mingle and engage the fans.

As I watched with DJ friend Blasmaster Scurvy Scurv, who was rooting for his 10-percent stake in a friend to pay off big, an older fella struck up a conversation. He flashed an autograph from Howard Lederer, a poker pro known as "The Professor." Too stunned to ask a follow-up question, I turned around and walked away wondering what was wrong with people in this world.

Since the WSOP is held at the convention center inside the Rio and there is way too much money at stake, it made sense to see a number of online gaming sites set up promotional booths and lounges. It's all about marketing, and the WSOP would appear to be the biggest non-electronic outlet to reach potential clients.

All the companies hired attractive young women to walk around and peddle their stuff. The companies' stuff, that is.  One young woman was so attractive, so thin and so airbrush-perfect, I thought she was a cardboard cutout. When she turned her head to talk to someone, I stutterstepped. 

From the online gaming sites and the exposed flesh that doesn't require a dollar being placed in unsavory places to the overt advertising of gambling, the hallways of the Rio resembled a street fair in Gomorrah. Strange world, this World Series of Poker.