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Modeling swimwear for Sports Illustrated swimsuit models

models.jpg

Swimsuit models, from left, Tori Praver, Oluchi Onweagba, Julie Henderson, and Brooklyn Decker pose together as they
arrive to the Sports Illustrated 2008 Swimsuit Issue launch party in New York, Tuesday, Feb., 12, 2008. (AP Photo/Stuart Ramson)

“This is very adorable,” said Anne V, a $14 million diamond necklace draped below her exquisite Russian visage. “I’m very happy.”

She smiled, winked, nodded and made a little clicking sound.

“I like that!” exclaimed Meghan White, a New England Patriots cheerleader. “It’s unbelievable.”

I had long thought that I was alone in considering my faded, cornflower-blue swim trunks hot stuff.

But I won some proof of the trunks’ irresistibility on Tuesday when I pulled them over my slacks and asked a dozen swimsuit models their opinion of my treasured garment, a J. Crew edition from the early part of this decade.

Just look at them, I said, throwing an unexpected challenge at the feet of these flawless beauties. Marvel at the delicate white stitching, the oversized drawstring, the nautical accents, the accommodating size.

And amid their prances through 7 World Trade Center to launch Sports Illustrated’s 45th swimsuit issue, these slender Valentines bathed my suit in praise.

Well, Meghan and Anne did.

The consensus among several other ladies was that the swimsuit simply included too much material.

It seems that the models’ preferences — for bikinis, sarongs or just body paint — had colored their expectations for men’s swim wear.

“It’s too long,” said Irina Shayk, a compatriot of Anne who joined her for a shoot in St. Petersburg, and who was so stunning that I forgot everything I ever learned while I watched her talk.

“It’s too big. I prefer tiny one.”

Thanks, Irina. I’ll go for a smaller fit next time I go swimsuit shopping.

That will be soon. Because I’m framing these trunks.

--Max J. Dickstein



See photos of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit models by clicking here

Read more Max J. Dickstein columns by clicking here.

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