Politirazzi

Sens. Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, once rivals for the presidency, will join forces (with matching capes and rings, perhaps) for the first time on the campaign trail in Unity, N.H., this Friday. Unity! I want to cringe and smile at the same time.

Further upping the symbolism in the fact that Obama and Clinton each received EXACTLY 107 votes in Unity, N.H., during the Jan. 8 primary.

— Emily

By Jeff

As a follow-up to Meg’s post regarding just how ignorant many people are regarding this election and what are their (foolish) motives for choosing their candidate, it got me thinking about a recent blog post from Ben Smith, who makes the point that it’s actually surprising that "only" 10 percent of Americans think Barack Obama is a Muslim, given the striking ignorance Americans show in many other areas.

So, building off his base, here are a few more statistics about Americans that is really actually pretty depressing.

10 percent think Barrack Obama is Muslim.

18 percent think the sun revolves around the Earth.

19 percent accept the presence of spells and witchcraft.

22 percent think George W. Bush knew about the 9/11 attacks before they happened.

By Emily

Remember when President Bush told the pope he delivered an "awesome speech"? Good times at the Bush Kappa Bush frat continued yesterday at commencement proceedings at the Air Force Academy. Yes, that's our commander in chief chest-bumping a graduate.

President Bush and U.S. Air Force Academy graduate Theodore Shiveley, from Plano, Texas, bump chests during the Air Force Academy graduation ceremony yesterday in Colorado Springs, Colo. (AP)

(and there's more)

You can't ignore Dem beats. Sens. Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are stumping in Puerto Rico (which holds its primary on June 7), but not without showing off some hot steps. Check out these videos of Hil and Barack breaking it down. Thanks, Spin Cycle.

— Emily

(AP)

By Jeff

At the adult table (as always) is the Republican Illuminati of James Baker, Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, a picture of baby Jesus and George W. Bush in his rocketship seat. At the kids table is all the people who may potentially be vice presidential candidates: Bobby Jindal, Mitt Romney, Mike Huckabee, Charlie Crist and Tim Pawlenty.

Poppa Bush says, “Alright men, while McCain’s back at the grill we need to determine — Dick, quit eating that puppy carcass for a second, this is important — by the end of this day, we’re going to decide who is assigned as vice presidential nominee. Rove, go.”

“Well, it really needs to be someone young and energizing to fight the Obamania factor, and someone with a strong conservative record to placate the core Gays/Guns/God crowd that doesn’t think McCain is conservative enough” as Karl looks over while Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee arm wrestle to see who gets to say grace. “It would also be ideal to get someone who could help us carry some swing states.”

Baker butts in, “I think we should start excluding some guys. We’ll get Florida even if Crist isn’t on the ticket — I made sure of that last time — plus he’s got white hair, and we’ve already got one of them. Huckabee is a nice guy, and I’m really impressed with his weight loss, but is it just me, or does he come off as a bit crazy? When he tries to be funny, it just kind of creeps me out. Liability.”

(continued)

By Kim

Tensions rise at the Asylum as vice presidential hopefuls Gov. Bobby Jindal, Gov. Charlie Crist and Mitt Romney fight to look the least Democratic while eating calamari. “Your sweatshirt is a nice shade of green, senator,” remarks Romney, “Brooks Brothers?” McCain lets out a sigh at Mitt’s unabashed pandering that makes even him cringe.

“So, Bobby,” McCain turns to his left, “I can’t believe they had steak on the kids' menu!” Jindal rolls his eyes and turns up his iPod. Forty years of a generation gap will not be filled so easily.

McCain looks awkwardly around and meets the gaze of Crist. He holds out his plate and asks, “Charlie, can you serve me Florida?”

So I have this friend (no, no, it’s not me) who is a huge “Doctor Who” fan. She watched BBC’s season three DVDs in about two weeks. (What a total sci-fi dork!) This friend also happens to be heavily invested in the primary elections.

Imagine her glee when she came across a chart listing all the past and present Doctor Whos and which presidential candidate would make his best companion. It’s back to the “McCain is old” joke when the Arizona senator is recommended to be Colin Baker’s companion because he has “first-hand knowledge of the Jurassic Period.”

Here’s a shot of the present Doctor, played by David Tennant:

Go to the Comedy Central site to read the rest.
— Emily

Meg's not the only one reading up on permanent body art.

Check out this exchange with Sen. Barack Obama in Oregon:

Question: "If you had a tattoo, what would it be and where would you put it?"
Obama: "Uh, I cannot imagine any circumstances in which I would get a tattoo."

— Emily

Strange but true: A tattoo artist offered a free inking of Hillary’s face to any takers at a recent tattoo convention in Baltimore. It will certainly hold up longer than a Hillary for President travel mug.

Personally, I’m not letting someone named Buffalo Bill go anywhere near my skin.
— Meg

By Kimberly

Are these symptoms of an immanent Democratic Administration interfering with your life?

• Not involved with family and friends the way you used to be?
• Low energy, fatigue?
• Not motivated to do the things you once looked forward to doing?
• Not feeling as good as you used to?

The National Republican Congressional Committee yesterday announced its new “change you deserve” initiative that smacks of plagiarism from the Obama handbook, but in reality was just copped from the antidepressant Effexor’s marketing slogan. And as Jason Linkins ironically points out, Wyeth was reprimanded by the FDA for its slogan for making “unsubstantiated superiority claims […] and minimiz[ing] the risks associated with the use!”

Because I suffer from both primary fatigue and shopaholism, here are my favorite buys from the candidates' Web sites:

Obama women's baseball tee, $25. It's a little creepy to have Obama's face centered on your chest, but points for originality.

McCain elephant tee, $25. Look! The elephant's trunk stretches into the "n"!

Clinton kids' tee, piggy bank and ruler (!!!), $20. What more do I have to say?
— Emily

This just took up a good 20 minutes of my time at work. Time well spent I think. Kudos to the Post for being low brow enough to spend money on developing this!

2008 Democratic Fight Night

— Kimberly

(eBay.com)

Seriously? Yes, seriously.

The owner of Scranton's Glider diner where this plate, silverware and half-eaten waffle were nicked has requested the auctioning of Obama's breakfast (seriously) be suspended. "His DNA is on the silverware"??? But before then, it was going for $10,100 with 31 bids.

As far as we can tell, this is legitimate. Disturbing, but legitimate.

Thanks, Meg.

Hopefully, Jeff and others' curiosity will be satisfied by with following excerpts from the candidates' WWE appearance (or messages tape for the show), via the Associated Press:

Sen. Hillary Clinton
"This election is starting to feel a lot like King of the Ring," she says. "The only difference? The last man standing may just be a woman."

Sen. Barack Obama, channeling The Rock
"Do you smell what Barack is cooking?"

Sen. John McCain
"Whatcha gonna do when John McCain and all his McCainiacs run wild on ya?"

Oh dear.
— Emily

All three presidential candidates are scheduled to make appearances on tonight three-hour edition of WWE Monday Night Raw. Hilarious. Party starts at 8 p.m., on the USA Network.

CNN reports that the event/show reaches 5 million viewers weekly, so the candidates have their reasons. But will there be spandex?

It seems WWE likes it in the political arena. Check out their Smackdown Your Vote! campaign. Also, in 2000, Al Gore and George Bush agreed to an arm-wrestling match on WWE. Sincerely.
— Emily

Among the taxpayers who are in Ancestry.com’s newly released records is Sen. Barack Obama’s fourth great-grandfather George Washington Overall of Kentucky, who in 1865 listed among his assets a stallion and a jack (which means donkey — the symbol of the Democratic Party.) It would be unfair to say whether the name of Barack’s grandfather and his donkey have any deeper meaning. We haven’t uncovered if Hillary’s ancestors had similar names and assets. But it does make you think. To check out the tax records of almost anyone in the U.S. from 1862 to 1866 go to www.ancestry.com, which just launched the database it got from the
National Archives.
— Garett Sloane, amNewYork business editor

What are you grinning at Dick Cheney? Though White House staffers say the VP is enjoying an afternoon of fly-fishing in Idaho — look closely at the lens of his sunglasses and it looks like he may be leering at a naked woman — not the trout. Call it Co-ed Naked Fly-fishing?
— Lauren Johnston, amNewYork online editor

What is former Republican candidate Mike Huckabee counting down to?

Check out his official Web site for a creepy clock winding down to April 15. But what's happening? Is Huckabee going to announce his vice presidency? A switch to the Independent party? Oh, the suspense.
— Emily

Good with words, bad at hitting pins (AP)

Here's proof that political junkies will follow any aspect of this race (myself included). Sen. Barack Obama sucks at bowling. Seriously, he's bad. So bad that people care. And people care so much that blogs make fun of them.

Obama was stumping in Altoona, Pa., ahead of the state's all-important primary when he bowled 37 in seven frames. His dismal showing didn't win over the seniors at the lanes and apparently neither did his lame "gutter politics" jokes. The Chicago Tribune's Eric Zorn shares more.
— Emily