This gem needs to be quoted verbatim. From an email, I received.
I’m the self-proclaimed King of Subway Etiquette. Here’s my four biggest issues with subway riders. These apply year-round, but are especially true during the holiday season.
Let people off first, then you can get on. (Goes for elevators as well. What kind of idiot gets on the subway before anyone has had a chance to get off? Yet it happens all the time. When it happens to me, I push straight through the person trying to get on first until he or she gives up and backs away. The entire time I’m looking at the offender and saying semi-loudly “Let ‘em off first. Let ‘em off first. Let ‘em off first.” Offenders usually think that I am either 1.) really tough; or 2.) really crazy. (Truth: a little bit of both.)
Bags, backpacks, work bags, big purses, etc. do NOT go on your shoulder, but on the ground between your feet on a crowded subway car. Bags on your shoulder take up a tremendous amount of space, especially considering that people are generally bigger (and fatter, like me) on top, rather than the bottom. And every time you turn with a bag or backpack slung on your shoulder, you’re hitting someone. That’s right, I’m talking to you. YOU ARE BANGING INTO ME WITH YOUR BAG. STOP IT. NOW.
Putting your bag on the seat next to you. Or even THINKING about putting your bag on the seat next to you. Do you really think the subway car isn’t going to get crowded? And when it does and your bag is on the seat, are you saying that YOUR BAG’s comfort is more important than another HUMAN BEING’S comfort? And the look you get when you dare sit down where someone’s bag is sitting! It’s like the offender is saying “can’t you see that this is my bag’s seat? Where do expect my bag to go? On my lap? Oh no. And my bag will not stand while you sit.” Swear to God, I came about two inches away from sitting on someone’s bag before they moved it. After I sat down, I just stared at them the entire time. Cuz that’s good manners.
For God’s sake, hold onto something. A rail. A strap. An armrest at the end of the seating section. You may think you have balance better than Tony Hawk and Bode Miller combined, but you don’t. You’re a 40-year-old, out-of-shape, one pack a day fogey and you should be holding on for dear life. You’re lucky you’re standing with the help of a railing, let alone without one.
That’s item. The gospel according to me. I’d write more, but it’s time for my medication.
Regards,
Bob Zeitlinger
Managing Director
Comments (2)
brilliant. but i must add an corollary to the first point.
the "we wont let em off first" crowd at least has a rational model of self interest. they don't care if they slow down you or anyone else but they want on that train now. as infuriating seemingly counterproductive this might be the worst offenders, in my opinion, is the people that just block the door. NOT the "door standers" that's a time-honored tradition that has an etiquette of it's own.
no, i mean the people who are anxiously preparing for your exit but still wont let you get off. for some reason this problem is a particular problem at the 63rd/Lex stop on the queens bound F. they just stand there and you have to push your way through to get by. step aside, make an aisle.
i think that, in general, most people have very good manners on the subways and buses. and even the people with "bad manners" aren't being vindictive most of the time. i think they're just dumb.
maybe there should be "subway ed" classes and people that pass can get a further metro card discount.
I'd a fifth point: people who can't keep right on the stairs and in the corridors. How hard is it to stay to one side and keep space clear for people going the other way?