In a rough economy, to divorce or not to divorce?
(Photo by Jefferson Siegel)
It’s not love — but rather money — that’s keeping Milton Sandoval and his wife married.
The tough economy is increasingly making it harder for many New Yorkers like Sandoval to afford a divorce, experts said. Couples are finding they cannot finance separate households with the loss of a job, reduced income or increased cost of living.
“You just don’t want to be divorced, and then you don’t have any more money,” said Sandoval, 30, a waiter who is living with his parents in the Bronx in order to save enough to divorce his wife of four years.
Sandoval said that he has been forced to take a second job in medical billing because the poor economy has drastically driven down his tips, typically the heart of a waiter’s income.
Couples “are stuck and they don’t like it,” said Karen Zager, a Manhattan psychologist who specializes in parenting and relationship issues. “They’re living together unhappily and fighting, which was driving them apart in the first place.”
“These are harsh measures for harsh times,” said Zager, who is counseling people on how to live amicably with their spouse until they can divorce.
As with all things involving money, there is a disparity between the rich and everyone else, said divorce lawyers and marriage counselors. While many New Yorkers are forced to stay together, the wealthy are seeing the downcast economy as a ticket out of an unhappy alliance.
Spouses are finding less incentive to stay in a marriage when the money’s gone, according to Alton Abramowitz, a Manhattan matrimonial attorney whose firm tends to represent clients with upper middle class incomes.
“[They think] I put up with a lot of crap when times were good, when we had a lot of money, but now I don’t have to put up with it anymore,” Abramowitz said.
“Then you have the other side of the coin where [they think] I used to be worth a lot of money and I’ve been unhappy for years. ... My net worth is down, but I know I’m going to come back so now’s a good time to get out,” said Abramowitz, who added that his firm has seen an increase in business in the last couple of months.
Even people who can afford a divorce are finding that the tough times are adding complications. With the housing slump, people do not know what their apartment is worth, and spousal and child support agreements are constantly being renegotiated as people are laid off or find themselves without bonuses.
“It’s all playing the numbers game,” said Manhattan divorce attorney Eleanor Alter.
