The TV Zone

Out last week, and all heck breaks loose.

(Note to TV world - please don't let heck break out the week I'm off...)

I'll just go through all the important headlines, and apologies to those I overlook...

Michael Phelps Wins Ft. Knox; NBC, Too. Yes, the Olympics have been good-very-good to one Michael Phelps and by association one National Broadcasting Company. Phelps' Memorex-barely-live primetime performances have been - may well be - the primetime TV events of this year and of years (maybe) to come. Unforgettable. (Though at this moment, I am mixing up the 200 Free with the 200 Fly and the 400 IMs with the 200 IMs; Doesn't matter - he apparently won 'em all.) Phelps' super-human accomplishments delivered super-human ratings because NBC - which knew a remarkable story when it saw one - milked Aquaman for all he was worth. Today the network tells us that 31.1 million watched Saturday night which is the biggest number on an NBC Saturday night since 1990 when "The 'Golden Girls' spin-off 'Empty Nest' starring Richard Mulligan drew 31.4 million viewers on Feb. 24, 1990."

Amazing fact number one: That 31 million actually tuned in to "Empty Nest."

Amazing fact number two: That if you add up total viewers of ALL NBC's Saturday night line-ups dating back 1990, they STILL wouldn't add up to 31 million.

I love the Olympics, pretty much have loved the coverage, and have especially loved NBCOlympics.com's coverage, patched together with youtube-sized vidbites and "video exclusives" (although one does have to have access to a "member" cable partner to get extended coverage.)

"The mystery of China combined with the unbelievable phenomenon of Michael Phelps, the terrific performances by gymnasts Nastia Liukin and Shawn Johnson and defending Olympic gold medalists Misty May-Treanor and Kerry Walsh at beach volleyball have captivated the imagination of the country," said Dick Ebersol, NBC U Sports boss.

Ah, the mysterious East.

Honestly, just one name sums up NBC's week one triumph. You know what that one is.

Other highlights of the week...

Katie Couric will start CNET webcasts...What happens if ratings for "CNET Evening News" - my suggested hed - exceed "CBS Evening News?"

Tori Spelling bolts "90210." What??!! Daddy's Dearest said she wasn't getting the green that the other prodigal "90210" stars were getting, and so that was that. A storyline worthy of the show... I've got an idea! Make a deal with Donna Martin flame David Silver instead. On second thought, Brian Austin Green's already got a gig...

The Donald buys Ed's House. Ed McMahon's White Elephant is about to be unloaded, and the White Knight is none other than the Trumpster. Ed will become a renter...

G4 Strikes Again. The network that made a show out of vomit now has a forthcoming show on human wrecking balls.

Chris Noth Leaves "L&O:CI." He left last night, for the second time in "L&O" history. Mr. Big clearly has relationship problems.

Julia Child: A spy. Yes, big news. JC was a spy during WW2, along with numerous others. And Feds announce that if "Sesame Street" had been around then, Elmo woulda spied for the Allies too.

"Hawaii 5-O." Rebooked, maybe, for CBS. "Criminal Minds" boss Ed Bernero is calling his re-write "Hawaii Five-O' 2.0."