The TV Zone

Well, ya just never know where the tributes are gonna come from on a day like this, but CNBC is the absolute last place on the planet you'd expect to see a George Carlin one -- seeing that he would have considered this network an illicit tool of the capitalist bastards (can you say that word in a blog...? Will check with the FCC and get back to you). Darren Rovell offered this up a little while ago. It's amusing AND square at the same time...

Said Rovell, "If George Carlin ever did this skit on CNBC, we're pretty sure these are the words he'd tell us we couldn't say on the network...

Long straddle
Taking a long position in both a put and a call option.

Horizontal merger
A merger involving two or more firms in the same industry.

Tenbagger
A stock that grows in value tenfold.

Crack Spread
The differential between the price of crude oil and petroleum products extracted from it.

Bulge bracket
A tier of firms in an underwriting syndicate that have the highest participation level.

Asset stripper
A corporate raider that takes over a target company in order to sell large assets to repay debt.

Back-end load fund
A mutual fund that charges investors a fee to sell shares.