The TV Zone

You know and I know that reality TV is a crock-pot of contrivances and choreography - that what goes on behind the screen, and even before the shooting starts, is of equal or greater importance to what goes on before our eyes.

So first, to Kristi. Of course she won last night. There was simply no way she could not win. How is it that no one - and I do mean no one - has pointed out that she is a world-class athlete, and one of modern history's preeminent skating champs? She has the stamina of ten mortals, and not just stamina, but an ability to control her body in ways that maybe one out of a million, no, out of ten million people, could ever hope to achieve.

Does anyone really think Adam Carolla had a chance against her?

Yeah, Apolo Ohno is a world-class athlete and so is Helio Castroneves. Guess what? They won too! (Jason Taylor? - of course, he is, but a 255-pound linebacker has different skills beyond the dance floor.)

What's my point here? That "DWTS" stacks the deck each and every season. The stars are carefully chosen to match the audience's demographic profile, but in the end, a champion is chosen by the show long before the shooting even starts. Kristi Yamaguchi was preordained by producers to win this thing because "DWTS" has been stung by charges that the show's audience, overwhelmingly comprised of older female viewers, vote overwhelmingly for male contestants. Even though the three judges' scores count for HALF of the total, viewers still went for the guys.

And no way was "DWTS" going to allow that to happen this year. Yamaguchi was so splendid that she got a perfect 90 the last couple of nights; she and Mark Ballas ended up with the highest judge total of any contestant in the show's short history.

Did she and Ballas deserve it? Of course. But the simple fact remains: "DWTS" stacked the deck to avoid embarrassment.

Now, the two Davids. As I've been yapping in this blog all season, "Idol" did a little deck stacking of its own this season. There were so many pros and semi-pros and former pros in the final 12 that the idea of this being even remotely an "amateur" comp was turned into a travesty. "AI" was hellbent on avoiding the Sanjaya Syndrome - that dreaded instance when a sub-standard performer is pushed to the front of the line by tone-deaf teenyboppers and websites like votefortheworst.com.

There's nothing wrong with "pros" - Melinda Doolittle was one, and so were plenty of other worthies in past seasons, while David Cook and David Archuleta are (of course) wonderful. (DC, as you know, cut records long before this show, and wasn't just a bartender trying to make ends meet in Tulsa, as "AI" legend would have it.)

Please - I'm not trying to be difficult, obnoxious, cranky, mean-spirited, and just plain snotty (even though I am, certifiably, all of these things). I'm just pointing out the obvious: The best have reached the finish line on both of these shows because their respective networks and producers long ago determined that the best SHOULD reach the finish line.

It's a good rule of thumb to remember that in TV, most everything usually happens for a reason, and that there's much more to these "competitions" than meets the eye.