The TV Zone

WWDPD?

What would Dr. Phil do?

Or at least, what would he say?, in trying to assess not the trainwreck but the human tragedy that is Britney Spears at this moment. On Thursday’s show (“Dr. Phil” at 3 p.m. on WCBS/2, 5 p.m. on WLNY/55), Ph.D psychologist Phil McGraw offers his first “Dr. Phil Now” broadcast, a timely hour counseling how the too-hard-partying pop diva can regain some equilibrium as she’s being incessantly stalked by TMZ.

We can mock Dr. Phil all we want -- and it is fun, is it not? -- but in this case, he’s a behavioral specialist of some renown who’s treating this splashed-all-over tale not as some snarky gossip item but as the sad story it is -- a once-accomplished young woman coming apart at the seams, her reckless behavior steadily trashing her career, her health, her relationships, and especially her connection with her kids. She’s got two little ones, remember. And they aren’t just courtroom tug-of-war items.

While the TV/online showbiz sites make profitable hay from her misbehavior, Dr. Phil evaluates what Britney Spears must do to get her kids back -- using his Courtroom Sciences consulting expertise (remember how he met Oprah) and, in the process, engaging in long-distance analysis, we’re sure. But it’s bound to be more estimable than the likes of “Britney's Most Shocking Year Ever” from VH1 (which ironically airs at the same time Thursday as WCBS’ “Dr. Phil”) or the lurid “Celebrity Expose” Monday on MyNetwork TV. Joining Dr. Phil will be “Spears’ former bodyguard,” says the press release, “who says he spoke out to protect her children.” He’ll “tell Dr. Phil what led him to go public.”

OK by me. Anything to start taking this mom’s meltdown seriously, people.