The TV Zone

Bless those g---d----- &$%#&@ Emmys!

What would I do without them? They're the gift that keeps on giving, for at least a couple hours afterwards. They're the blogger's dream AND nightmare: An endless stream of material that cries out for something....

On this morning's post-Emmys show, we'll just right to it all, one by one:

Theater in the Round: Fox dispensed with the standard proscenium theater, and I actually think this worked reasonably well. Viewers - and those at the Shrine - got some intimacy at the expense of big show theatrics (which are often a bore or embarrassment anyway.)

Ryan Seacrest: The guy didn't bomb, and that's all that counts. His jokes were bland, and Fox obviously decided to cut his on-screen time by having Ray Romano provide pretty much the balance of the monologue - only marginally better. Seacrest proved that hosts are irrelevant to these things (unless they're Conan, whose inspired 2006 opening was probably the most memorable, the only memorable, part of the 2006 awards).

Charlie "Lucky Lucci" Sheen: It's one thing to get nominated. It's another to get passed over. It's another still to get passed over multiple times. It's yet another (after that) to be forced to endure three maybe four really lame jokes (on national TV) about your boorish behavior with regards the opposite sex. It's even one more thing beyond that to sit right up there in the front so that everyone can see your reaction each time.
This is almost enough to make you feel sorry for the guy.
My advice: Pull a Ricky Gervais/Judy Davis and stay home next time.

Have a little pity.

Sally Field: There's something about witless babble at the Emmys that fills me with unbridled joy. So thank you, Sally. Really - THANK you. The morning after we learn that she was bleeped for saying some sort of naughty word; apparently it was "g--d------;can't wait for the TMZ clip, OR the clip of whatever the heck it was that Katherine Heigl or Romano said either.

Mothers bleeped.

The Jersey Boys: This was a mistake. Can you think of anything more diametrically opposed to the spirit of "The Sopranos?" A Tony Bennett duet with Celine Dion (singing "Endless Love?") Elton John and "Candle in the Wind?" Boy George attempting...

Tony woulda winced

Greatest Injustice Award goes to: Edie Falco, for not getting her rightful award last night.

Supreme Justice Award goes to: "30 Rock," which is the best of this field (though "Extras" should have been included).

Funniest Bit Award goes to: Through my fog of recollection, I'm thinking the Rainn Wilson/Kanye West "Don't Forget the Lyrics" spoof. West bobbled his own "Stronger," earning the Wayne Brady rebuke: "You picked the wrong time to speak properly."

Lamest Bit Award goes to: That endless strange noisy listless banter between Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart. Expectations were great - not once met.

Most awkward: I'm thinking Lewis Black. Funny guy, with some funny lines about TV execs (you come up with all these bad ideas - "why don't you run for office..") But the anti-TV news rant was endless, surprisingly (even for him) bitter, and then he closes with a plug for the Fox schedule.