The TV Zone

6:20 p.m. Sunday --

Did I say Ryan Seacrest was bland? OK, I did. When Fox announced him as Emmy host. And again in Newsday's big Emmy preview.

But the Crester showed some spunk on E!'s Emmy red carpet pre-show Sunday. "It's nice to be half naked today," he enthused to "Heroes" babe Ali Larter, referencing the weekend's stifling L.A. heat and her less-than-covering red gown. "Glistening heat," Seacrest had called it earlier, apparently trying to steam up his lukewarm image however he could.

E! also employed – no, not Joan Rivers, that's so 2003 – such technological "innovations" as a "stilletto-cam" for extreme close-ups of the stars' shoes. They also had a "glamistrator" with which fashionistas Carson Kressley and Kimora Lee Simmons scribbled commentary over freeze-frames of the celebs' frocks and gems. "It's a sea of cleavage and I'm starting to like it," said the Queer Eye guy. Oh, my.

Update due in a few . . .

6:35 p.m. Sunday --

So Ryan's not so swift, after all. Kathy Griffin, who caused all that trouble at last weekend's creative arts Emmys, brought Steve Wozniak as her guest. Seacrest had not even a glimmer of recognition of the Apple computer co-founder, even after Griffin mentioned his "billion reasons" for sweating in the heat. "You don't even know who he is," Griffin sneered. "I'm hoping you do something really hideous" in hosting the Emmy ceremony, she added, "because I have a special coming up and I can use my Seacrest good seven-eight minute chunk."

I have a feeling, Kathy, that won't be a problem.

More to come . . .

7:15 p.m. Sunday --

The Fox network is doing its hourlong red carpet pre-show in high def.

Oooh, scary for celebs. We can see Tony Shalhoub's five o'clock shadow in every-follicle detail. And people like Joely Fisher, not the youngest pup in Hollywood, might be trepidacious. But Fisher looks fab -- actually better in HD on Fox than in standard-def on E! Go figure.

Too bad Fox is wasting waaaay too much time promoting itself. Like we care what Wayne Brady has to say about "Don't Forget the Lyrics." Please.

Checking back soon . . .

7:25 p.m. Sunday --

Like I care about Fox' "carbon footprint" under the red carpet canopy.

Dying of boredom here.

Actually wishing Seacrest wasn't "out" already . . .

7:35 p.m. Sunday --

There's something worse than the Fox preshow.

It's Joan and Melissa Rivers live-blogging the red carpet. Suddenly it's not hard to see why they lost the E!/TV Guide Network gigs.

Back on E!, Seacrest is filing haven't-seen-Britney-yet reports from inside the Shrine Auditorium, where he's standing alongside the tradition-breaking in-the-round set. I'm sorta liking him again. The boy does work hard. E's tube-watcher Kristin is so obnoxious doing interviews outside, Ryan could actually be my god right now. E! has descended to showing how to open bras. And the demonstration model is on a guy.

Oy . . .