Marrying Kevin Federline didn't do it, shaving her head didn't do it, botching her VMA performance didn't do it. Is there anything Britney Spears can do to destroy her career?
There is one thing: Lose custody of her children.
Thanks to a Los Angeles court, Britney did just that on Monday, and the judge's gavel may have sounded the death-knell for Spears's turbulent career. After that news, nothing seemed shocking, not even a report the next day (from In Touch Weekly magazine) of an alleged Spears sex-tape.
According to a panting press release, Spears met some 28-year-old dude in a bar while vacationing in Hawaii and brought him back to her bungalow for a romp -- on video, unbeknownst to her. Said dude isn't releasing this video morsel because he's “disappointed by his own performance,” according to the mag.
Yawn! It wouldn't matter now if Spears threw a telephone at a hotel clerk, passed out in her SUV or went on an anti-Semitic tirade after being busted for drunk driving. We encourage our celebrities to behave badly; it's fun and funny, a way to live out our own renegade fantasies. And Spears could have bounced back from just about anything.
But losing custody of your kids? There's nothing funny about that.
For Spears, this is a more serious image problem than a shorn scalp. Does anybody -- parents, teenagers, even semi-clueless tweeners -- really want to see Spears doing her usual stripper act knowing that her two children are living without their mother? It sort of spoils the fun. (Unless, of course, you're the unhinged and slightly unsavory YouTube star named Chris Crocker, who now seems to be Spears's biggest fan.)
Once again, it's helpful to compare Spears to Madonna. How did Madonna manage to offend and disgust much of the public during the conservative 1980s, yet still become one of the most important pop figures in history? Essentially, she exerted complete control over herself -- her image, her music, her personal life. Whether baring a little skin in her off-the-shoulder outfits or baring every inch in her photo book “Sex,” Madonna was above reproach -- no substance abuse, no custody battles and few skeletons (except for those early topless photos). These days, Madonna's greatest sin seems to be an overeagerness to adopt poor children.
Spears, on the other hand, has never seemed in control of anything. Where Madonna remains a sex symbol, Spears has always been a sex object, from her early role as coy jailbait in a schoolgirl skirt to her later incarnation as a club-hopping blonde looking for action. These days that seems like an increasingly distasteful part for her to play. Even more worrisome is that she may not be acting.
It's probably true that life is harder for female celebrities: They're held to higher standards and have further to fall than their male counterparts. Spears may be only beginning to learn that the public can be a harsh judge of character.