
(One of the few "hilarious" moments from “Titantic.")
Going into the Oscars tonight there’s a lot of buzz about the possibility of comedy/drama “Juno” taking the award for Best Picture.
Now how funny “Juno” is debatable, but what isn’t is the fact that comedies rarely take the Best Picture award.
Since 1970, only a couple of comedies took the Oscar:
"Shakespeare in Love" (1998)
"Annie Hall" (1977)
"The Sting" (1973)
But for up-and-coming screenwriters out there, the key to winning Best Picture is this: Be as depressing as humanely possible.
For example:
"Million Dollar Baby" (2004)
Watching this will stun you and drain your will to live for at least 24 hours.
"American Beauty" (1999)
Its delightful “happy” ending is as easy to bear as a paper cut — make that 10 paper cuts.
"Titanic" (1997)
Would be less sad if Rose would have let Jack lay on that piece of wood for a little while in the freezing ocean. Oh, well, she could have saved his life if she wasn’t so selfish.
"Braveheart" (1995)
Nothing like watching a guy get tortured for, like, 10 minutes.
"Schindler’s List" (1993)
No comment required.
"Terms of Endearment" (1983)
A movie made for the Lifetime channel.
"The Deer Hunter" (1978)
Who knew a game of Russian Roulette could end so tragically?
— Pete Catapano
(Editor's note: The opinions of Pete Catapano are not necessarily shared by the entire amNewYork staff.)