By Mark La Monica

Tradition here at Talk of the Tents is the chronicle the first show of the week via a running diary. Sadly, we're going to have put the kibosh on that tradition this season.

Sorry about that, John Bartlett. Your 10 a.m. kickoff to Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week just won't cut it this year. Not with the Heart Truth Red Dress slow slated for 11 a.m.

That show, one of the best of the week, features the famous people wearing red dresses made by different designers. It's to raise awareness for heart disease . . . and to take away free pub for John Bartlett's Fall 2007 collection.

First Lady Laura Bush is a national spokeswoman for the Heart Truth foundation and is scheduled to attend the show here at Bryant Park. That means extra security sweeps by Secret Service. That means get in line early for presidential patdowns. Could be fun.

Again, too bad about that John Bartlett fella and our opening ceremony diary. Alas, traditions were meant to change. Actually, not really but to quote Hokies friend Lloyd, "2007. Why not?"

By Mark La Monica

Standing in line for what seemed like an eternity just for the chance to put my stuff down in The Tent for the Red Dress show, alternating between nausea, exhaustion and the onset of plantar fasciitis, I found my energy boost. My epiphany. My adrenaline.

Kelly Ripa!

She emerged from the hair and makeup area backstage, the tiniest little thing, and walked toward the runway area. She waved to me . . . and the hundreds of other people around me.

If there's a cure for what ails you, it's Kelly Ripa. She's three cans of Red Bull in a dress.

Funny how the nausea went away after that. Thanks, Pipa.

By Mark La Monica

Quite a furor this Laura Bush appearance at Fashion Week caused among the grumpy photographers awaiting access to the Red Dress show.

Those on the media e-mail list received notification on Thursday that 9:30 was the call time for access to the show.

Once arriving at the scheduled time, we were herded into various staging areas, same as all other shows. The plan was for media to go into The Tent, set up shop and then come back outside and wait in line again while Secret Service swept our stuff for not-so-nice things.

All this for the First Lady, an ambassador for Heart Truth, which produces the Red Dress Show every year to raise awareness of heart disease for women.

As an hour or passed, some photographers put on their grumpy pants and started griping. Maybe if President George W. Bush's approval rating was a tick or 12 higher, they wouldn't be so grumpy. You'd think that of all the fashion shows these people will have to cover in the next eight days, they'd pick the one without men trained to kill them patrolling the premises.

By Mark La Monica

The most exciting show of the entire Fashion Week happens on the first day. Kind of a bummer for the remaining seven days but a heck of an opener today. It's the Heart Truth Red Dress Collection and it's full of celebrities.

Different designers contribute to the dressing of famous women in red. The famous women walk the runway and add oodles of personality to otherwise the monotonous stoic looks from expressionless models.

Here we go with this year's roundup of the Red Dress show 2007:

Kim Cattrall - Loved her work in "Mannequin." After that, haven't heard from her. Supposedly she was on some show on HBO that every woman in New York and the world over loved and every man openly hated and secretly didn't mind watching. Since this is an open blog, I can't mention the show by name. Man law. Good call.

Katharine McPhee - Something tells me she's going to have a bit more successful career than that Taylor Hicks dude. Maybe it was all the bling in her Swarovski dress. Or maybe it's that Hicks just seems like a doofus.

Danica Patrick - Show me what you got, little mama.

Mae Jemison - Any reason to hear Frank Sinatra's "Fly Me to the Moon" is a good reason. Jemison was a NASA astronaut and the first woman of color to enter space, back in 1992.

Camilla Belle - Among her film credits, "The Chumscrubber." Ouch. Not exactly a fashionable title. However, she looked lovely in a short, kinda-poofy Oscar de la Renta dress.

Marlee Matlin - She walked a little too close to the runway's edge for my liking. Then again, what the heck do I know?

Zuleyka Rivera - She knew exactly what she was doing, too, as she played up to the cameras when dropping her shoulder shawl. Whoa! Holla at a Miss Universe when you see her on the runway. As a matter of fact, holla at a Miss Universe when you see her anywhere.

Natalie Morales - She's a "Today Show" personality, I'm told. I'm a Regis and Kelly guy.

Helena Christensen - Those wicked games you play.

Kristen Chenoweth - Her little pooch (more accurately, a purse dog without the purse) had even more fun on the runway than she did. When Chenowith made her turn to walk back, the dog stayed for a few seconds and Chenoweth had to drag him for a few feet until he started to walk on his own. It was quick but funny for those who caught it.

Billie Jean King - A game changer in tennis and now in fashion. She sported a dark red suit by Gustavo Cadile and . . . wait for it . . . wait for it . . . black adidas sneakers. Fantastic work. She got a tremendous ovation her entire walk down and up the runway.

Kimberly Guilfoyle Villency - As a San Francisco DA, she won a conviction for a murder trial involving a dog mauling. Hopefully, she didn't see Chenoweth's little tug.

Alek Wek - Rail thin and 29 years old, yet looks as healthy as ever. So much for all that hype about models being too thin.

Rachael Ray - One of the best smiles in the history of best smiles. But it didn't completely hide what seemed like two tablespoons of self-consciousness and a quart of embarassment. Rachael, honey, baby, you did just fine.

Sheila Johnson - I hope you and your fellow co-owners of the NBA's Washington Wizards give Gilbert Arenas the money he deserves on his next contract.

Mary Hart - She looks just like she did when I was a young'un watching Entertainment Tonight with Mama La Monica. Of course, that was 1984. Guessing there's been some work done. As she made her turn on the runway, though, she grabbed her stomach and her patoot and tried to push them in. Pretty amusing manuever from a woman made famous by covering the famous.

Lauren Hutton - Still smokin' hot after all these years. Even more smokin' hot off the runway in regular-people clothes taking pictures of us taking pictures of her. As she took the pictures of taking pictures of her, I wondered two things: 1) "I loved her in 'Once Bitten' with Jim Carrey; 2) I wonder if she'll post a picture of me on her MySpace page.

Paula Zahn - Well, someone needed to waive to First Lady Laura Bush.

Phylicia Rashad - Absolutely impossible to see her walk by without calling her Claire.

Jane Krakowski - Hard to tell if she was being Jane Krakowski or her character Jenna from "30 Rock." Either way, she rocked just as good.

Kelly Ripa - As crazy and lively on the runway as she is on "Live with Regis and Kelly." Blew a kiss to Laura Bush and pranced around to the Deee-Lite old-school club classic "Groove is in the Heart."

Angela Bassett - Regal and bad-ass at the same time, still. Such prolonged stays of power are impressive and commendable.

Betsey Johnson - Danced her way down the runway, milking every minute. Faked an attempt to do her signature cartwheel. Still a rampaging lunatic. Still a champion!

See more photos of the Heart Truth Red Dress Collection

By Mark La Monica

The WE bag and I, well, we have a history together.

For the past two seasons of Fashion Week at Bryant Park, the WE bag was there for me every morning. We laughed. We cried. We held each other.

There was the "WE bag incident," a legendary story which has likely traveled the world by now (OK, likely not). The "First rule of WE Bag Club" story which -- and this one is true -- was a topic of conversation in a college classroom a few month ago.

Countless other stories involving myself and the stylish bag handed out by the lovely gals in the WE booth in the lobby under the tents.

And now, sadly and unexpectedly, the WE bag and I are separated. Not my choice. The WE booth does not exist at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week. Not a very nice way to kick off the weekend.

This is some serious bullschtein.

Someone call the Pentagon. Launch an investigation. Get Mayor Bloomberg down here for some sound bytes. Heck, I'll settle for an alderman or town planner. Someone. Anyone!

With no WE bags to acquire, what the heck will the people do with all the free swag they receive?

By Mark La Monica

When first learning about the change in major sponsors for Fashion Week from Olympus to Mercedes-Benz, I immediately began to wonder what that would mean to the other-worldly experience that is 7th on Sixth.

Question: Would they still have that wall of photos in one corner that they add to each week?
Answer: Nope.

Question: If not, would they hang spinning rims on the walls instead?
Answer: Nope.

Question: What will be different?
Answer: Well, Mercedes-Benz placed a car in each corner of the main lobby entrance at Sixth Avenue and 41st Street. A 2007 CL600 designo Mystic White Edition in one corner and a slick silver Concept Ocean Drive convertible in the other.

Not that I'd ever be able to afford a Benzo, any chance of me ever purchasing one now has been eradicated from my small, semi-usefull brain.

The areas now occupied by those cars once house very comfortable seating for show-goers. It was a nice place to relax when you just couldn't possibly look at another piece of clothing. On occasion, you could even find yourself being served hot chocolate, mints, mocha-something-or-others and assorted other items.

Now we can stare at cars. Ooooooooooooooooh! "Hey, Pa, look, it's a car that's just sitting there, doing nothing and taking up all that space for no good reason."

As former pro basketball player Derrick Coleman once said, "Whoopty-damn-do!"

Practicality is a lost art.

By Mark La Monica

A beautiful young woman kindly stopped right in front of where my camera and several other cameras were pointed.

Quite a nice gesture, I thought.

I did the honorable thing and snapped a photo of her. Then another. And another. Hey, these things happen.

Just as I prepared to say thank you and let her go on about her way, another photographer asks, "Can you show us some of your breast?"

What?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????

Wow! That's quite a forward line. Usually, you only hear that on a Paris Hilton home video.

She opened her jacket and showed the part of her dress covering her right breast. No unnecessary exposure followed.

But for a photographer to ask that is insane. He clearly said "breast" and not "dress." I know this because he said it again as he made strange sounds once she opened her jacket.

And even if he just meant to show us something under the jacket, there are much better ways to phrase it.

By Mark La Monica

Tim Gunn strolled uncontested past photographers before the Heart Truth Red Dress Collection. I hit him with a "What's up, guy?" as per my usual greeting to people but it went unheard, so we can't add him to the Nicky Eyes Hit List.

There was another Tim Gunn sighting at the Red Dress show and again afterward A triple-decker Tim Gunn day puts anyone in a good mood.

Among the beautiful people at Marc Bouwer was Richard Belzer. Didn't Hulk Hogan knock him out with a sleeper hold on a late-night talk show once? Yes he did!

I'm still wondering how the little dog he held in his lap the entire show never barked. Not once. Strong sedative is the guess.

Also on hand for some Marc Bouwer viewing were Rue McClanahan, who still garners a front-row seat. Not bad for a golden Golden Girl. Then we had Petra Nemcova sitting across from McClanahan. Damn, she's sweet. Nemcova, that is.

Two seats to her left may have been Penelope Cruz. Not sure. Here at Fashion Week, it's important to be aware of the Fake Famous - those who look like they should be famous because of the aura of a fashion show.

Definitely seated six seats to my right in the front row was Vivica A. Fox. Quite the stunner in person. (Sorry, Cartoonist friend Harris, but she's not on your list, so I decided not to have her call you. Rules are rules.)

I'd have taken some photos of these lovely people for you to peruse, but snapping pics while sitting in the front row is a bit gauche.

By Mark La Monica

Having just walked out of the Marc Bouwer show, I'll get straight to the point:

Ladies, in a few months when these clothes hit the retail stores, go buy them.

Fellas, in a few months when these clothes hit the retail stores, give your lady a credit card and say "Go buy them."

Aside from a tiny handful of taffeta dresses with excessively wide, uh, taffettas, Bouwer threw down some hot gear. (As for those wide dresses, the best way to explain is this: think golf umbrellas as opposed to regular umbrella.)

At Bouwer's no fur, no leather, no wool show (No wool? Apparently, they're not nice to the sheep in Australia), he managed to do sublime work with all the other fabrics.

Since fashion is purely subjective, here's how I judge it: Would the dress make a shy fella force himself to talk to a woman wearing it? The answer in most of these cases was yes. (To prove our point, watch video from the Marc Bouwer runway show.)

The midnight charmeuse and chrome bias gown was smoking.. The navy velvet plunging cap-sleeve gown clinged and grabbed in all the right places.

And if a woman walked into the room rocking the dusty mauve chrome mini dress with a black smokey mauve miniscule chinchilla shrug, I'm proposing on sight. Same goes for the plum Grecian wrap dress, the sunset pearl Astrakhan shawl collar robe coat, and the glacial sequin strapless dropped torso gown.

In case you're wondering how I knew all those descriptions, well, when you somehow get a front-row seat to a fashion show, they tell you what everything you're looking at actually is. (What's a piece of clothing without 32 adjectives?)

It's a tad different than, say, oh, standing in the back row with a craned neck and an upward-dog back just to see "a blue dress."

By Mark La Monica

Based in New York, FORM's plan is to design for the modern sense of luxury.

"My concept is to re-introduce the skilled and innovative craft for making a modern and intricate statement for women of effortless expression and personal distinction," says designer Jerry Tam.

At the Gen Art: The New Garde 2007 showcase at The Waterfront on 12th Ave, FORM presented its latest line. Click on the start button below for a 60-second tour of the show.

By Mark La Monica

Chris Habana calls himself a crafthlete, a designer who references anything and everything in life when creating his clothes.

"The woman I design for," he writes, "is playful, brash and irreverant."

Known for its colorful prints and collages, CHRISHABANA had a presentation at The Waterfront on Friday night as part of Gen Art's The New Garde 2007 showcase. Click the start button and enjoy the show.

By Mark La Monica

Based in Los Angeles, the Geren Ford line designed by Geren Lockhart takes its inspiration from a fast-paced, mobile lifestyle.

The philosophy here is of a lifestyle, not just a nice piece of clothing. "The line evokes a sexy escapism," Geren writes. "Each item is meant to be those perfect things that you pack every time you go somewhere."

Geren Ford presented its Fall 2007 collectionat The Waterfront on Friday night as part of Gen Art's The New Garde 2007 showcase. Click the start button and enjoy the show.

By Mark La Monica

The good folks handling the press for Venexiana were kind enough to extend a backstage invitation in my direction Saturday night.

Being a hospitable fella, I took them up on the offer.

Backstage is always an interesting scene, from the dozens of models walking around with heated rollers in their hair to the dozens of models getting their makeup done, from the seamstresses and assistants doing last-minute touches on the clothing to the celebrities and other random "How'd they'd get back here?" people passing through.

If you're lucky, you might even catch a model breakdown, cured only by a bottle of Peroni and a fantastic pep talk from a runway coach.

Click the start button below and go backstage at Venexiana.

By Mark La Monica

Watching the Twinkle by Wenlan show on Sunday afternoon (we all need a break from the 39 hours of Super Bowl pregame garbage), I felt perplexed.

Who would wear these crazy outfits, super-sized hoodies, funky hats and other randomly selected clothing designed by a woman with a very creative mind.

Then, the epiphany hit: The Village.

Greenwich Village is a wonderful region of Manhattan where just about anything goes. Wear what you want and wear it how you want it.

Once I figured it out, the Twinkle show took on a whole new feel. From that extremely subjective point of view, the clothes looked pretty cool to see outside of a tent in a park on a Sunday afternoon.

By Mark La Monica

Dressed in a navy blue "Enzo the Baker" coat from Brooks Brothers and a stern countenance, a wonderfully attractive woman with an edgy look approached me.

Clearly, this was my lucky day. A model walking up to me to chat? Being at Fashion Week obviously has its perks, eh?

I did the gentlemanly thing and smiled a comforting, "I know a great French restaurant nearby" smile.

She smiled back. I did the "Perfect Strangers" dance of joy in my mind.

Bam! This is going to be a good week.

She slowly pulls back her jacket and reaches into her pocket. It's beyond obvious that she's throwing herself at me.

Then, she pulls out her model credential and shows it to me, letting me know she's allowed to walk down the short hallway I was standing near.

She thought I was a damn security guard!!!

By Mark La Monica

It's tradition here in Talk of the Tents to read The Front Row Daily, a glossy fashion rag mag handed out each day to anyone who wants a copy. Or two.

We all have our guilty pleasures in life. This is one of them. (Watching "The Hills" on MTV is the other.)

This magazine provides plenty of amusement. Show-goers can often be seen reading the magazine while sitting in their seats waiting for the show to start. From cover to cover, it's full of gems. Everything from who's wearing what, who's where and why, and other little juicy treats that we all pretend not to like in public but secretly crave to read when we're by ourselves.

In "The Fix," a front-of-the-book section on quick hits and such, R&B singer Cassie is shown sitting in the front row at Saturday's Lacoste show. Her quote in the mag was "I'm from Connecticut, Lacoste is kind of important there."

That's fantastic, especially to those of in the tri-state area who know exactly what she means.

Also in "The Fix" is a piece headlined "What's Your Nickname." The good folks of The Front Row Daily went around and asked designers and other important fashion people what their nicknames are. Among them, we have "Dardotte," aka DJ-turned-designer Charlotte Ronson, "Butterball" aka fashion designer Jason Wu, "Fluffy Pants" aka interior designer Jonathan Adler and "Johnnycakes" aka fashion designer John Bartlett.

By Mark La Monica

As we all know, fashion is quite subjective. So we'll let the you judge the purples, browns and silvers used by Nanette Lepore in her Fall 2007 show this afternoon at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week.

Click the flash player below for a sneak peak at what you might see in stores at the end of this summer, provided you shop in those stores. (The player may take a minute or so to load on your computer, depending on your Internet connection speed.)

By Mark La Monica

In the "seen and be seen" capitol of the world, and the capitol of that capitol, we are primed for celebrity sightings.

Bryant Park during Fashion Week never disappoints in that regard.

Miss Universe Zuleyka Rivera was backstage Saturday night at the delightful Venexiana show and was kind enough to allow this kid from the South Shore to point a camera in her direction and push the button.

OK, sure, the pic is 36 hours old, but I really just wanted to taunt Cartoonist friend Harris one more time.

As for the early Monday sightings, we had Vogue prima dog Anna Wintour and her bob cut and big glasses exiting Carolina Herrera show.

A few seconds later, Ivanka Trump strolled out and was stopped by a some TV person. She was gracious enough to do a quick spot with the interviewer. I don't watch "The Apprentice" so I don't know about the television version, but the real-life Ivanka Trump is striking.

Socialite Tinsley Mortimor and her white dress with 4,302 red dots walked alone and unabated to the Oscar de la Renta show.

By Mark La Monica

I watched the beautiful people be ushered into The Tent for the Oscar de la Renta show. Remarkably different than when the ugly people are horded into the media risers, which I watched moments earlier.

Past experience taught me one thing: Don't go to every big show there is if you value and cherish personal comfort and intact rib cages.

Having been through Oscar de la Renta fashion rehab once before, I chose to watch the show from a seated position on the carpeted stairs at the M.A.C. Cosmetics Lounge.

Some would liken this to the difference between going to a concert and buying the DVD from the show a few months later. I liken it to going to a baseball game with one buddy and buying five tickets, ensuring that no one can sit next to you. It's as wise as it is innovative.

As Oscar's show unfolded on the runway, it became increasingly apparent that he's becoming my favorite designer. Not that I dig dressing up in women's gowns (at least not until "Saturday Night Live" hires me for a sketch or three, mind you, but I certainly don't mind looking at women wearing them.

De la Renta did his usual thing, which is show elegant, classy gear for the upscale woman. Save your duckets this summer, ladies (and your significant others), and treat yourself come September when Oscar hits the stores.

By Mark La Monica

These fashionerattis, socialites and celebrities live a rough life some days. Sure, you'd think it's all glamorous to have photographers poking and prodding and asking to take your picture.

But what are the long-term effects? Not in a financial, social or career manner, but medically speaking? Staring down dozens of photographers with flashes and bright lights on their cameras taking multiple snaps per second has to take its toll on the corneas. Perhaps even the retinas and irises, too.

Two lovely young ladies prior to the start of the Reem Acra show had their pictures taken by no less than 12 photographers for a period of time no shorter than six minutes. From the side angle, it looked like Fourth of July was about to begin.

The ladies smiled the entire time, said their thank yous, then politely sat back down in their front-row seats. Never once did they bat the unintentional eyelash, frown or do any of those things we regular folks do when one flash is too bright for our eyes.

How is that even possible? Do photogenic people take a course in beauty school on how to handle the eye pressure? Is there a magic pill they take that consistenly restores retinal damage without, literally, batting an eyelash?

By Mark La Monica

Once you got beyond the bright and beautiful clothing shown at Luca Luca this afternoon, it was time to focus on the bright and beautiful people watching the clothing shown at Luca Luca this afternoon.

In a span of 12 seats, there were seven easily recognizable faces, and when their star power is combined, it's a lineup that rivals the 2006 Yankees, at least in this fashion and style industry.

We get it started with Kelly Rowland of Destiny's Child. A few seats to her left was Kimora Lee Simmons, the designer of Baby Phat and former wife of Def Jam and rap pioneer Russell Simmons.

That's a pretty good top of the order right there. Note: Kimora Lee Simmons is three feet taller than you think she is and you already knew she was tall.

Moving right along, (actually, it's to the left, to the left), we see Carmen Electra looking as stylish and delicious as ever.

Directly to her left was Kelly Bensimon, an American style setting legend, author and Elle editor.

We reach a slightly younger crowd as we continue down the order. Audrina Patridge from MTV's "The Hills" was there, taking in the show with castmate Lauren Conrad.

You may remember Lauren as the girl with the sweetest smile in TV history. Or you may remember her as the girl who turned down a summer internship in Paris to hang out on the beach with her loser boyfriend Jason. Uh, yeah, that didn't pan out too well. (I told you earlier "The Hills" is my other guilty pleasure in life.)

Wrapping up the list of seven big hitters in a 12-person span is JC Chasez, formerly of the boy band NSync. Yeah, yeah, I know. But the dude's got a ton of money and fame from that boy band thing and that equals "player" status in this industry. And he head-nodded to the music the entire show, which is worth something in my book, er, blog.

Try pitching to that lineup for a mid-afternoon show.

By Mark La Monica

Hey, is that . . .? No, it can't be. What would she be doing here? Why would she be here? Didn't her show go off the air years ago? No way Old Navy commercials are that popular, especially among the hoity and the toity of high fashion?

The second rule of covering Fashion Week is to be extremely careful when it comes to famous people. With radar on high alert, the fake famous occurs more often than not.

She arrived moments before the start of the Reem Acra show dressed in all white, perhaps all ivory or all tope. The photographers swarmed her on the runway and snapped away. All the world was hers.

She looked familiar, very familiar. It was pretty obvious it was her, but again, beware of the fake famous. Then, she opened her mouth and it was confirmed. Even from six rows back (about 20 feet away) and above the preshow atmosphere music, that voice was unmistakable. Alas, Fran Drescher is in the building!

By Mark La Monica

What are we without our accessories? More accurately, who are we without our accessories?

Watches, rings, necklaces, bracelets, bandanna, hats, whatever. If it blings, it sings. (Even non-jeweled accessories can bling, or so I overheard in my mind.)

Surrounding the fountain inside the main tent at Bryant Park where all the lines form to enter the shows, there are a handful of accessory exhibits. Little cubbies with fancy product installed behind glass to keep fingerprints and five-finger discounts at a minimum.

Here's a quick tour of some of the accessories that help make up the Accessories 2007 Fall exhibit, in another of our 60-second showcases.

By Mark La Monica

Ever watch a television news or entertainment broadcast and wonder why the on-camera talent make weird movements with their heads and talk in those insanely fake voices with "Oh my God" intonations and accents on the wrong syllables?

Me too, even though I already know the answer. Using hand movements, head bobs and fake voices helps liven up a broadcast and engage the viewer better without them knowing it.

I laugh at it on television and I laugh even harder now that I've seen it done in real life.

Two TV personalities were at Bryant Park doing their stand-up to introduce where they were and what they were doing. They needed multiple takes to tell the camera they were in the main tent of Bryant Park "where it all goes down" and that it's "the place to see and be seen."

Watching this 20-second bit unfold over a 10-minute span was equal parts amusing and comforting. I laughed at the growing number of awkward deep knee-bends one reporter had to do. If her partner can't get her bit right, this woman is going to tear some knee ligaments.

But I was warmed by the notion that even paid professionals mess up on camera. I'm going to remember that the next time I'm "Multi-take Mark" during a video shoot with Intrepid videographer friend Bobby.

By Mark La Monica

11:09 a.m. -- Standing in The Tent waiting for Bill Blass. What should I write about this show?

11:11 -- Ah, got it. A running diary.

11:16 -- Web friend Cocoa fits right in on her first fashion assignment by asking the annoying photographer in front of her to get out of the way.

11:23 -- Hey, there's Fashion friend Anne. Time for the double-cheek air kiss. Mwah! Mwah!

11:30 -- Tarp comes off the runway.

11:31 -- Web friend Cocoa pushes record on the video camera and she's off to the races as a fashion videographer. She's growns up and she's growns up and she's growns up.

11:32 -- Lights out. Long pause. Dramatic effect. The doors open and the show begins.

11:33 -- The hot start continues with more bright, bold colors and simple, elegant designs.

11:35 -- Still rolling along with wonderfully aesthetic gear.

11:37 -- Is that Naomi Campbell on the runway? Nope. Damn! That's the third show this girl has tricked me. Damn you, Fake Naomi.

11:38 -- A photo I snap comes out blurry. Why? My foot can't stop tapping to the rhythm of the music playing at the show. (Think tribal house music blended with a jazz baseline, big band swing and '50s swing.)

11:39 -- Still don't see anything that makes me go hmmm?

11:39.30 -- A model walks down the runway with an overcoat and her arms folded. Uh oh, here comes a flasher.

11:39.45 -- She's wearing a dress underneath. Shucks.

11:40 -- You won't fool me this time, Fake Naomi!

11:41 -- Oh, nice touch with the Audrey Hepburn "Breakfast at Tiffany's" black slik gloves with a black dress.

11:41.15 -- Why the hell do I know that?

11:43 -- Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang! Whoever decided to create a hot pink dress with no embellishment is my new hero. This dress is smokin!

(12:13 update: I came to find out from one of my fash-insiders that dress is called coral silk crepe halter gown)

11:44 -- The show ends with a Black Blass finale, 15 or so women wearing different versions of the "little black dress."

11:45 -- Mental wrap-up of show. Only one piece of clothing looked whack. Impressive.

By Mark La Monica

Scored a third-row seat to Chaiken, which was a nice coup for an average show. It started off OK then ended like a clearance rack at Kohl's.

The models were thin. Scary thin. See their stomachs digesting food thin.

But, at least we had some celebrity sightings to occupy our wandering eyes during the show.

Kelly Rowland of Destiny's Child is still in New York, still in the front row and still wonderful to behold.

Same goes for Julianna Margulies, the former "ER" star who enjoyed the view a few seats down from Rowland.

Patricia Heaton of "Everybody Loves Raymond" fame rocked a low-cut green dress and angled herself just perfectly for the cameramen.

Cynthia Nixon, better known as Miranda from "Sex & The City" had a front-row seat next to someone who may or may not have been Madeline Stowe. (Remember the second rule of fashion week: Beware of the fake famous.)

Donald Trump Jr. in a Trumpy suit and Trumpy tie sat regally and held his wife's hand for the show. Gotta love the Trumps, hairstyles notwithstanding.

Laura Bennett, a finalist on Season Three of "Project Runway" had a second-row seat before the show.

By Mark La Monica

Provided you are of legal drinking age in your country, please purchase a bottle of Chambord.

The makers of the French black raspberry liquor are sponsoring the greatest booth here in the tents. Coat check!!!

It's the first such occurrence in the dozen or so years of Fashion Week in Bryant Park.

It's also the most practical thing at this place, especially if you're going to be here all day. Of course, they don't like the media to check their coats, so the trick is to put the pass in your pocket when you bring them your coat.

By Mark La Monica

By Mark La Monica

Posing for photographs comes easily for models. Wow, that's earth-shattering news, eh?

What's remarkable, though, is the ability to go from regular, care-free girl bopping along to the music in her head and the Red Bull in her veins to a provocative-yet-untouchable woman with stone-cold killer eyes and a hard-core pose in a split second.

Having spent much of the past four days taking pictures of models (not as easy or glamorous as it sounds, which is a blatant lie), my amazement DNA strands are working overtime.

One second, there's a 15-year-old girl from the Ukraine humming along with her iPod. The next second, her head dips down and her eyes shoot out captivating rays that work as a tractor beam for your camera.

The scary part is that your camera wasn't even pointing at her. But, she saw the camera aimed in her general direction, somehow knew your shutter speed and right before the flash goes off, she's caught in your viewfinder. And you can't really get mad. It makes for terrific art.

Below is an example from backstage at Venexiana. This young lady wasn't even looking at me until a split-second before the flash went off. I wasn't even shooting her. There was a perfectly random candid shot of her and two models behind her. But that was lost, replaced by her eyes as the focal point of the photo. And seriously, who's mad at a model wanting to get face in as many photos as possible. She's just doing her job, as am I.

By Mark La Monica

A Betsey Johnson show is always insanely fun and exciting. From the clothes to her music to her cartwheel on the runway, her inner child shines through.

And the celebs don't want to miss it.

Sharing a front-row table for four were Russell Simmons, the godfather of rap music and the hip-hop culture, and Rev. Run of Run-DMC. When was the last time you saw a reverend wear a pimped-out black full-length coat with a gold cross emblazoned on the back?

Across the runway from the Simmons brothers were Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge of MTV's "The Hills." Guess we now know how this season's struggle between Heidi and Audrina turns out. Oh well, the show is still a classic.

Fran Drescher and Joan Jett were in the house, too. After years of rock stardom, Joan Jett is still hot. Gotta love that.

L.A. stylist Phillip Bloch and model/Howard Stern girlfriend Beth Ostrovsky sat at the same table. There were most likely more famous people there, but I didn't have an ideal viewing position.

By Mark La Monica

We've remarked in the past about the lunacy that is Betsey Johnson and we're still big fans of her. Here's the video of Betsey doing her signature cartwheel at the end of her show, along with her signature balloons and her carrying her grandchild, who is roughly 1 years old now.

(The video player below may take a few seconds to load, depending on your Internet connection. Also, it's raw footage, so there are a few accidental shots of guests' heads when they got in the way of my little handheld camera. Please forgive and enjoy nonetheless.)