Pet Rock: The Pop Culture Blog

On Tuesday, undocumented Pet Rocker J-Mac unveiled his Denise Richards drinking game. Sounds like fun, no doubt, for the 21-and-over crowd.

But seeing how this is Tom Cruise Week here in Pet Rock, I shall put forth the Tom Cruise drinking game for your amusement and enjoyment this holiday weekend. It's 10-step program designed to get you loaded to the tilt, so keep those car keys in someone else's house.

- Do a shot of gin every time you see Tom Cruise look like he's about to take a dump in his pants on screen.

- Pour yourself some Louis Roederer champagne if you ever hooked up with a girl named Penny Benjamin.

- Take a sip of beer every time you tell a friend to "Punch out, Mav" when his attempt to hit on a girl goes painfully awry.

- Shotgun a beer every time you play a really bad hole on a golf course and call it your "Iceman" hole because it wore you down and made you do something stupid.

- Crack open a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 every time you see Tom Cruise talk about Scientology or jump on someone's couch.

- Do a shot of vodka every time you see Tom Cruise do his patented hard swallow of nothing on screen.

- Punish yourself with two shots of Jagermeister every time you watch the non-essential scenes of "Eyes Wide Shut."

- Tequila, tequila, tequila every time you get caught watching a post-1992 Tom Cruise movie.

- Drink a blender drink for every time you lied to a girl by saying "I liked 'Jerry Maguire.'"

- Whatever bottle you drop and break when trying to a "Cocktail" bartender, get another one and pour a round of shots for everyone in sight, including you.

Now pour yourselves some coffee because "Born on the Fourth of July" is about to start.